<![CDATA[Jyoti Gulati - Road to Freedom v2]]>

<![CDATA[Jyoti Gulati - Road to Freedom v2]]>Fri, 15 May 2026 17:07:36 +0530Weebly<![CDATA[Road to Freedom - The Journey from Good to Great]]>Sat, 15 Mar 2025 05:11:25 GMThttps://www.jyotigulati.com/road-to-freedom-v2/road-to-freedomTable of Contents

1. What Are the Holes In Our Soul?
2. History Of Our Fear Consciousness
3. Understanding Our Default Fear Consciousness
4. What Is our Access To Being Happy and Fulfilled?
5. What Comes in the Way Of Growth?
6. What Is Fear?
7. What Got us Here Won't Lead us Forward
8. What is the Measure of Our Limitless Potential?
9. Why is it Important to Understand our Fear Consciousness?
10. How do we Discover our Hole in the Soul and Small Mind?
11. How do we Dissolve our Fear Consciousness?
12. Discovering Limiting and Peaceful Warrior Roles
13. Examples of Roles in the Emotional Body
14. How do we Discover our Limiting Habits?
15. Understanding your Limiting Expression of your Default Being
16. Self-created Barriers Create Limited Results
17. What are the Peaceful Warrior Roles?
18. Power to Choose
19. An Example of How our Choice of Response Shapes our Life
20. Healing Relationships
21. What is the Path of the Peaceful Warrior?
22. How to Live like a Peaceful Warrior?]]><![CDATA[I. What are the Holes in our Soul?]]>Fri, 14 Mar 2025 13:10:13 GMThttps://www.jyotigulati.com/road-to-freedom-v2/i-what-are-the-holes-in-our-soulWe are born with Holes in our Soul. These are fears that we may have carried from our previous lives or inherited from our ancestors through generations. The way we are nurtured in our childhood deepens the experience of these evolutionary fears. These fears are:
1. I am all alone. No one loves me.
2. I am not good enough.
3. I am not important.

Living our Purpose this Lifetime to make a difference through our work creates the pathway for us to do the inner work to fill the Holes in our Soul to become Whole and Complete.

These Holes in our Soul or Spiritual Body creates limiting beliefs about our own self, about other people and about Life itself in our Mental Body. We call this pattern of limiting beliefs - Small Mind. The Small Mind pattern gets developed and strengthened in response to:

1. Limiting beliefs or judgements that we imbibe because of the family we are born into, the communities that we are a part of, the gender we belong to, the country that we call our own and the human race that is our species.

2. Unconscious decisions or judgments about our own self, about people and about life itself that we end up making in our growing years, in response to what we experience, that hold us down as we grow as adults because those decisions or judgments may neither be valid in our adult life situation nor be an effective way to deal with the adult reality.

Unconsciously, we begin to relate to these decisions and judgments as the truth. We start responding to people, situations and life from these decisions and judgments in our minds, instead of what is the reality in the moment; without realising that
i. these decisions and judgments are merely specific points on the Ball of Perspective
ii. we have Agility of Mind to travel around the Ball of Perspective to discover other points to view the same reality
iii. at other points on the Ball of Perspective, we may get greater access to our undeniable Power to Create to generate our reality in alignment with our reality-defying intentions and impossible, unimaginable, crazy-big dreams.

3. Trans-generational Thought Patterns that we inherit from our parents, that are passed down from one generation to the next.

4. Thought Patterns that we carry from our past lives.
Consider this, if you believe in past life. 'There is past life', 'There isn't past life' and 'I don't know enough to decide whether there is past life' are all valid points on the Ball of Perspective because all the infinite points on the Ball of Perspective are valid, depending on from which point we are viewing the same reality.

We think we are making conscious, logical decisions in response to our situation. In reality, our beliefs are unconsciously making our decisions for us and living our lives for us. ]]><![CDATA[II. History of our Fear Consciousness]]>Wed, 12 Mar 2025 18:30:00 GMThttps://www.jyotigulati.com/road-to-freedom-v2/ii-history-of-our-fear-consciousnessMillions of years ago, 2 of our ancestors were having a joyous conversation outside the lion’s den in the jungle, which was where we lived then. The two gentlemen didn’t realize they were outside the lion’s den.

Suddenly the lion roared. One of our ancestors felt a chemical reaction called fear in his body, in response to which he ran and climbed a tree. The other ancestor didn’t experience any chemical reaction called fear in his body; and instead, stood wondering what was wrong with the other person. Before, he could think any more, out ambled the lion and gobbled him up.

Who survived?

Our ancestor who experienced a chemical reaction called Fear survived. We are the children of that ancestor. We are the children of Fear.

What did Charles Darwin called the Evolutionary Process?

He called it Survival of the Fittest.

Where do you need to survive – where there is Fear and Scarcity, or where there is Love and Abundance?

Today, a dinosaur is not writing this article for other dinosaurs. A human is writing this article for other humans because tiny, puny little humans spent millions of years continuously surveying the environment for danger and protecting themselves from danger to survive.

That is why our default Consciousness is Fear Consciousness. Our mind has got trained for millions of years to operate from Fear Consciousness to protect the body for the body to survive.
]]><![CDATA[III. Understanding our Default Fear Consciousness]]>Tue, 11 Mar 2025 18:30:00 GMThttps://www.jyotigulati.com/road-to-freedom-v2/iii-understanding-our-default-fear-consciousnessIn response to our Hole in the Soul, the small mind emerges in our Mental Body. In response to our small mind, we end up creating Limiting Roles in our Emotional Body. These Limiting Roles also have specific physical sensations associated with them.

These Limiting Roles create low energy in our Energy Body, which manifests itself as specific physical sensations in our physical body for each specific role.

These Limiting Roles also have limiting habits that show up as limiting behaviours in our Physical Body. Our Enneagram Style gives us an understanding of these limiting habits.

This is our default Fear Consciousness, which is the barrier to realize our limitless potential.

Our work on the Good to Great journey to realize our limitless potential and as a result, make a massive positive impact, is to dissolve our default Fear Consciousness.

Imagine a tree of fear in our mind. Conceptually, we may consider the conscious mind to be about 5% with the leaves of the tree of fear in the conscious mind, sub-conscious mind to be about 15% with the branches of the tree of fear in the sub-conscious mind and the unconscious mind to be about 80% with the trunk and roots of the tree of fear in the unconscious mind.

If we want to dissolve the entire tree of fear in our mind to realize our limitless potential and make a massive positive impact, then our work is to identify and use the processes that work on the conscious, sub-conscious and unconscious minds to dissolve the fears resident in all these three minds.

]]><![CDATA[IV. What is our access to being Happy and Fulfilled?]]>Mon, 10 Mar 2025 18:30:00 GMThttps://www.jyotigulati.com/road-to-freedom-v2/iv-what-is-our-access-to-being-happy-and-fulfilledWrite down 3 instances when you felt happy in the last one week.

Test the hypothesis that you felt happy because in each of these instances you experienced growth – physical, energy, emotional, physical, spiritual, well-being, relationship, business, financial or some other experience of progress in your life.

Growth is our access to being happy and fulfilled.

What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for some goal worthy of him.
- Viktor Frankl, Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist as well as a Holocaust survivor, Author - Man's Search for Meaning, one of the key figures in existential therapy.

Do not confuse Ease and Grace with being in your Comfort Zone. Ease and Grace means being ease and grace outside your Comfort Zone.

Growth exists only outside our Comfort Zone. In our Comfort Zone, lies mediocrity and a deadening of the life force in us.

Our access to happiness and fulfilment is through growth - personal, professional, physical, mental, emotional, spiritual.

Therefore, our happiness and fulfilment lies outside our Comfort Zone.

Living Beings are designed for growth. If a plant is not growing, it is dying. So, it is with human beings.

If we are not growing, we are dying. Our physical body may take longer to disintegrate but without growth and the challenges that come along with that; our heart, mind, body, soul die a slow death. To be on a lifelong journey of learning, and growth as an outcome of that is our human design.

Therefore, we maximise our Happiness and Fulfilment, when we maximise our Growth.

Maximising our Growth is also called Achieving our Highest Potential.

Who defines and limits our Highest Potential - we do that through our Dreams.

Bigger, Crazier, Impossible, Unimaginable our dreams; greater the growth available to us as we play to realize our dreams; greater our Potential we fulfil.

How do we measure how much of our potential we have fulfilled? We can measure how much of our potential we have fulfilled by the quantum of positive impact we have created in the world through our work by living our Purpose on the spiritual playground of our Business.

Our potential is limitless. The growth available to us is limitless. The positive impact we can create is limitless.

This is the Good to Great journey we are on, our Hero's journey to - Dream Big. Learn Big. Create Big. Impact Big. Grow Big. Happiness Big. Fulfilment Big. Joy Big.

Wealth and Success is a by-product of this journey, not the reason for the journey, because wealth and success is a measure of the positive impact we are creating in the world through our work.

When we go on our Hero's journey, we change the DNA of the human race which is about being content with mediocrity and comfort-zones; transforming what it means to be a human being; gifting ourselves and our children with a new way of Being, a Space of Grace within and a beautiful Brave New World to live in.

Continue walking forward, one tiny step at a time, on your Hero's journey to lead yourself and your business from good to great, realize your dreams and have it all with ease and grace; while having lots of fun and adventure along the way.

The striving and struggling for some goal worthy of us is the fun and adventure part of our journey 💜
]]><![CDATA[V. What comes in the way of Growth?]]>Sun, 09 Mar 2025 18:30:00 GMThttps://www.jyotigulati.com/road-to-freedom-v2/v-what-comes-in-the-way-of-growthFear is a barrier to our growth. Fear holds us down in our comfort zones because our default fear-sourced mind is trained for survival, not growth.

Growth lies outside our comfort zone. Therefore, happiness and fulfilment lies outside our comfort zone.

Fear keeps our intentions and dreams small. The size of our intentions and dreams limits the amount of growth available for us.

]]><![CDATA[VI. What is Fear?]]>Sat, 08 Mar 2025 18:30:00 GMThttps://www.jyotigulati.com/road-to-freedom-v2/vi-what-is-fearI am having an in-person deep-dive. I ask my coachee to remove the light from the room for the room to be left in darkness. The coachee unplugs the bulb with their hands, puts it in their pocket and leaves.

The coachee comes for the next in-person deep-dive. I ask the coachee to unplug the darkness, put it in their pocket for the room to be in light.

Is this possible?

Is it possible for someone to hold darkness in their hands?

Light can be held. Darkness cannot be held because Light is the presence. Darkness is an absence of Light.

Similarly, Love is the presence.

Fear is an absence of Love.
]]><![CDATA[VII. What got us here won’t lead us forward]]>Fri, 07 Mar 2025 18:30:00 GMThttps://www.jyotigulati.com/road-to-freedom-v2/vii-what-got-us-here-wont-lead-us-forwardFear evolved our Physical Body to the highest level possible. We no longer need to evolve our physical bodies.

The next leg of our evolutionary process requires us to evolve our Energy Body, Emotional Body, Mental Body and Spiritual Body.

Fear helped us survive and got us to a Good place.

The next leg of our evolutionary journey from Good to Great requires us to dissolve Fear with Love to realize our limitless potential.
]]><![CDATA[VIII. What is the measure of our limitless potential?]]>Thu, 06 Mar 2025 18:30:00 GMThttps://www.jyotigulati.com/road-to-freedom-v2/viii-what-is-the-measure-of-our-limitless-potentialWhen we dissolve fear in our mind with Love for our own self and for all beings in the world and for everything, we release our mind’s capacity to create positive impact in the world because Love wants to contribute and make a difference.

Our potential is measured by the quantum of positive impact we create in the world through our work.

Since our potential is limitless, the quantum of positive impact we can create in the world through our work is limitless.
]]><![CDATA[IX. Why is it important to understand our Fear Consciousness?]]>Wed, 05 Mar 2025 18:30:00 GMThttps://www.jyotigulati.com/road-to-freedom-v2/ix-why-is-it-important-to-understand-our-fear-consciousnessIt is important to have a depth of awareness about our Hole in the Soul, small mind, limiting roles, associated low energy pattern and associated limiting habits because higher the self-awareness, more clearly we will be able to see our fear consciousness within in our 5 bodies.

When we can see, then we can embrace our fears with love and acceptance to dissolve them for us to become more and more Love, more and more Whole. More Love we become, more of our limitless potential we will realize, more massive a difference we will make living our Purpose through our work.

That is our journey from hole in the soul to Whole Soul, from Fear to Love, from Scarcity to Abundance, from being a High Performer who creates success at the cost of other areas of their wheel of life to being a Peaceful Warrior who Have It All with joyous ease and grace; while having lots of fun and adventure along the way.]]><![CDATA[X. How do we discover our Hole in the Soul and Small Mind?]]>Tue, 04 Mar 2025 18:30:00 GMThttps://www.jyotigulati.com/road-to-freedom-v2/x-how-do-we-discover-our-hole-in-the-soul-and-small-mindWe start with a hypothesis and we test this through our experience of life. There are 3 core fears which we call as Hole in the Soul:
1. I am all alone. No one loves me.
2. I am not good enough.
3. I am not important.

Write down 5 instances in your life when you felt mad, bad or sad. Choose those instances where there was an intensity of mad, bad or sad feeling. Chose at least one instance from recent past, at least one instance from your childhood, at least one instance which is professional and at least one instance with respect to a personal relationship.

For each instance, ask yourself:
1. The pain was because of which core fear?
2. What was my limiting experience of my own self? Write in the form of: I am ….
3. What was my limiting experience of other people in that instance? Write in the form of: People are ….
4. What was my limiting experience of life itself in that instance? Write in the form of: Life is …
You will find a pattern emerging. That pattern in the form of:

I am …
People are …
Life is …

is your Small Mind.

You will also find that the same core fear predominantly repeats across all the 5 instances. This core fear is your Hole in the Soul.

The above is your First Hypothesis of your Fear Consciousness.

Do the below experiment to test this hypothesis and discover your Fear Consciousness:
i. Observe your emotions.

ii. If you find yourself in an emotion from 6 to 22 in the above emotional range, reflect to go deeper to understand the source of the low energy emotion – the core fear and limiting thoughts about your own self, about others and about life itself.

iii. Doing this over a period of time will support you to understand your default core fear (hole in the soul) and default limiting thought pattern (small mind).

]]><![CDATA[XI. How do we dissolve our Fear Consciousness?]]>Mon, 03 Mar 2025 18:30:00 GMThttps://www.jyotigulati.com/road-to-freedom-v2/xi-how-do-we-dissolve-our-fear-consciousnessThere are 5 stages of transformation from Fear to Love with the transformation enabled through growth habits and transformative practises:

0. Unconscious Incompetence – Our Fears are creating our Limiting Reality unconsciously and we are not even aware of it. We blame others, karma or our destiny for the misery in our life.

We are in Gear 0 of our inner journey of personal transformation; and react to Life as a Critical Fighter, Distracted Avoider, Over-helping Rescuer and Helpless Victim unconsciously, going round and round in an energy-draining circle.

The Critical Fighter role in us reacts to low energy emotions by vomiting on others, Helpless Victim role in us by rolling in the low energy emotions, Over-helping Rescuer by numbing themselves to their own emotions, and Distracted Avoider by distracting themselves to avoid feeling their low energy emotions .

1. Conscious Incompetence – We begin to see how our Fears are creating our Limiting Reality.

We realize we are responsible for all that happens in our life.

We have now stepped into Gear 1 (Agility of Mind) of our inner journey of personal transformation. We call this journey Leadership Depth.

The keystone habit at this stage is Daily Reflection to process the low energy emotions at end of day through structured reflection because I am extraordinary and I love myself.

2. Conscious Competence Stage 1 – We begin to make conscious effort to shift our Being from Fear to Love to generate our Reality in alignment with our Intentions and Dreams.

We have now stepped into Gear 2 (Being of Service) of our inner journey of personal transformation.

We begin to process the low energy emotion at the end of the event through a quick 5-minute structured reflection because People are extraordinary and I love People; and therefore, I don't want to carry my low energy emotion to the next person I will be talking to.

3. Conscious Competence Stage 2 – We make a conscious effort with greater commitment to shift our Being from Fear to Love to generate our Reality in alignment with our Intentions and Dreams. We experience greater ease and grace as an outcome of this greater conscious effort.

We have now stepped into Gear 3 (Communicating powerfully in the world of others) of our inner journey of personal transformation, also known as Leadership Depth.

We begin to process the low energy emotion during the event through seeing, accepting, embracing the emotion and stepping into our whole soul and big mind by being authentic about our inauthenticity (our hole in the soul, small mind, limiting roles, limiting energy, limiting habits) with people I am with because I trust the Universe, I am a channel of massive positive impact and I am making a difference.

4. Conscious Competence Stage 3 – We have now stepped into Gear 4 (Delivering on our Word) of our inner journey of personal transformation, also known as Leadership Depth.

We begin to process the low energy emotion pre-event through a quick 5-minute pre-event structured reflection because I am whole, complete and perfect as I am right now; People are whole, complete and perfect as they are right now; Life is whole, complete and perfect as it is right now; I am my word; I believe in myself; I believe in you.

We get greater access to our Power to Create™ as people around us support us to fulfil our intention which not only contributes to us but also to them.

5. Unconscious Competence – We have now stepped into Gear 5 (Excellence) of our inner journey of personal transformation, also known as Leadership Depth.

Our Being is Love and we get full access to our Power to Create to generate our Reality in alignment with our reality-defying intentions and impossible, unimaginable, crazy-big dreams with ease and grace.

Low energy emotions arise and dissolve on their own because I love, accept and revere myself as I am right now; I love, accept and revere people as they are right now; I love, accept and revere life as it is right now.

Gear 1 to Gear 5 is a spiral of growth. We grow through spirals of growth. We do not have to wait to be at 100% in a particular gear to step up to the next. Going around the mountain is easier than climbing steeply to the summit. We can start with 20% spiral of growth and keep stepping up to 30%, 40% and so on.

Till 40% spiral of growth, we are on the Starter Track by doing our Growth Habits and Transformative Practises 1% to 40% of the time.

From 40% to 80%, we are on the Champion Track by doing our Growth Habits and Transformative Practises 41% to 80% of the time.

From 80% to 100%, we are on the Mastery Track by doing our Growth Habits and Transformative Practises 81% to 100% of the time.

It's an endless journey to mastery.

The joy is in the journey itself.

Every step forward on the journey brings greater joy and fulfilment.
]]><![CDATA[XII. Discovering Limiting and Peaceful Warrior Roles]]>Sun, 02 Mar 2025 18:30:00 GMThttps://www.jyotigulati.com/road-to-freedom-v2/xii-discovering-limiting-and-peaceful-warrior-rolesHow do we discover our Limiting Roles (sourced in Fear Consciousness) and access Peaceful Warrior Roles (sourced in Love Consciousness) in our Emotional Body?

There are 4 types of limiting roles in our Emotional Body, sourced in our Fear Consciousness:

1. Critical Fighter or Persecutor – In this role, we vomit our limiting emotions on others.

2. Distracted Avoider – In this role, we distract ourselves from our limiting emotions.

3. Helpless Victim – In this role, we roll in the pain of our limiting emotions, feeling powerless and helpless.

4. Over-helping Rescuer or Super Hero Martyr – In this role, we shove our limiting emotions under the carpet and become numb to our emotions. We ease our pain by over-helping others, which reduce their power.

When our Being is Fear (Unconscious Incompetence), we keep circulating between these 4 limiting roles continuously experiencing unfulfilling lack of intimacy and authentic connection in our relationships. One of these dysfunctional roles is our home base where we most often find ourselves.

Each one of us will have our own multiple versions of each one of the limiting roles.

A role can be identified as three adjectives followed by a descriptive noun. A descriptive noun is usually a descriptive adjective which converts into a noun. For example, Critical becomes Critic.

One of my limiting roles is – Hardworking, Disengaged, Disconnected Busy-bee. This is an Avoider role when I avoiding feeling my low energy emotions by distracting myself with working hard, and in the process disconnecting with myself and therefore, with people in my life.

We are likely to have numerous roles for the same type of limiting roles. It will support you to progress on your good to great journey with greater ease, grace and velocity if you can identify all your numerous roles that show up in different situations and with different people.

In Role Theory in Psychodrama, roles are categorised into interpersonal roles and intrapersonal roles, each serving different functions in a person's psychological and social life.

i. Interpersonal Roles
These roles emerge in social interactions and are shaped by relationships with others.

They involve external behaviours and how one interacts with different people in different contexts.

Examples:
a. Leader in a business setting
b. Friend in personal relationships
c. Parent in a family dynamic
d. Mentor to a younger colleague
e. Player in a sports setting

ii. Intrapersonal Roles
These roles exist within the individual and relate to their internal world, emotions, and self-perception.

They involve internal dialogues, personal struggles, and self-identity rather than direct interaction with others.

Examples:
a. Inner Critic (self-judgment)
b. Inner Child (playfulness, vulnerability)
c. Wise Self (intuitive guidance)
d. Survivor (resilience in adversity)
e. Procrastinator (avoids difficult tasks)

Exploring both types of roles through Psychodrama helps individuals understand themselves better, resolve conflicts, and integrate different aspects of their personality for greater well-being and growth.

We can progressively reduce the power of the limiting roles by becoming aware of which role is thinking, speaking and acting.

Through greater and greater consciousness through greater and greater awareness of our Fear Consciousness - hole in the soul, limiting thoughts, limiting emotions, low energy patterns and limiting habits - through Growth Habits and Transformative Practises, we create a gap between the One who is Seeing and What is being Seen. This gap is called the Space of Grace.

In this Space of Grace, we have the Power to Choose between Fear Consciousness and Love Consciousness. This Power to Choose gives us access to our Power to Create to generate Reality in alignment with our reality-defying intentions and impossible unimaginable crazy-big dreams.

Through Psychodrama, we experientially create the space between One who is Seeing and What is being Seen.

For every Limiting Role sourced in Fear Consciousness, we have a go-to Peaceful Warrior Role sourced in Love Consciousness for us to step into:

1. Critical Fighter or Persecutor → Assertive Challenger

2. Distracted Avoider → Truthful Engager

3. Helpless Victim → Powerful Creator

4. Over-helping Rescuer → Supportive Guide

Each one of us will have our own multiple versions of each one of the peaceful warrior roles.

A role can be identified as three adjectives followed by a descriptive noun. A descriptive noun is usually a descriptive adjective which converts into a noun. For example, Optimistic becomes Optimist.

One of my created peaceful warrior roles is – Courageous, Compassionate Trans-generational Pattern Breaker. This is an Engager role. Whenever I see the Disconnected, Disengaged, Shut-down Wife emerging during conversations with my husband, I choose to step away from that role and step into the role of Courageous, Compassionate Trans-generational Pattern Breaker to continue the conversation.

This role helps me to break free from the pattern of unhealthy relationship between the man and the woman in a marriage in my family. This Power to Choose gives me access to my Power to Create to change my energy in the moment to dance in a conversation with my husband.

These roles require us to feel them in our body. Intellectual understanding is not enough. That is why somatic practise like Psychodrama is extremely useful to become aware and understand our default limiting roles, and to strengthen our created peaceful warrior roles.

As in Limiting roles, there are multiple roles that we can create for each Peaceful Warrior role type which can be either interpersonal or intrapersonal.]]><![CDATA[XIII Examples of Roles in the Emotional Body]]>Sat, 01 Mar 2025 18:30:00 GMThttps://www.jyotigulati.com/road-to-freedom-v2/xiii-examples-of-roles-in-the-emotional-bodyThe below examples are given to support you to discover, uncover and become aware of your Limiting Roles and create your own Peaceful Warrior roles. Look for resonance. Take those adjectives and nouns that resonate with you and leave out those that don’t.

1. Dysfunctional Roles / Limiting Roles
i. Avoider – Passive, Hesitant, Disconnected Observer
ii. Rescuer – Overprotective, Enabling, Self-sacrificing Saviour
iii. Fighter (Persecutor) – Aggressive, Controlling, Judgmental Enforcer
iv. Victim – Helpless, Dependent, Defeated Bystander

Functional Roles / Peaceful Warrior Roles
i. Engager (Avoider Shifted) – Present, Courageous, Proactive Connector
ii. Guide (Rescuer Shifted) – Supportive, Empowering, Wise Mentor
iii. Challenger (Fighter Shifted) – Assertive, Growth-oriented, Fair Leader
iv. Creator (Victim Shifted) – Resourceful, Resilient, Self-directed Innovator

2. Dysfunctional Roles / Limiting Roles
i. Avoider - Indecisive, Withdrawn, Apathetic Bystander
ii. Rescuer - Over-involved, Martyr-like, Controlling Saviour
iii. Fighter (Persecutor) - Rigid, Critical, Domineering Commander
iv. Victim - Defeated, Dependent, Fearful Survivor

Functional Roles / Peaceful Warrior Roles
i. Engager (Avoider Shift) - Courageous, Open, Authentic Explorer
ii. Guide (Rescuer Shift) - Thoughtful, Insightful, Patient Coach
iii. Challenger (Fighter Shift) - Bold, Honest, Transformational Leader
iv. Creator (Victim Shift) - Adaptable, Self-reliant, Inspired Architect

3. Dysfunctional Roles / Limiting Roles
i. Avoider - Silent, Hesitant, Uninvolved Shadow
ii. Rescuer - Over-giving, Sacrificial, Intrusive Guardian
iii. Fighter (Persecutor) - Harsh, Forceful, Intimidating Punisher
iv. Victim - Hopeless, Drained, Reactive Prisoner

Healthy Functional Roles / Peaceful Warrior Roles
i. Engager (Avoider Shift) - Bold, Curious, Interactive Bridge-Builder
ii. Guide (Rescuer Shift) - Grounded, Encouraging, Wise Beacon
iii. Challenger (Fighter Shift) - Decisive, Motivating, Fair Disruptor
iv. Creator (Victim Shift) - Fearless, Innovative, Empowered Trailblazer

4. Dysfunctional Roles / Limiting Roles

For workplace teams, collaboration, and leadership:

i. Avoider → Engager
Avoider → Hesitant, Unexpressive, Invisible Spectator
Engager → Proactive, Communicative, Open Collaborator

ii. Rescuer → Guide
Rescuer → Overbearing, Over-responsible, Fixated Micromanager
Guide → Supportive, Strategic, Empowering Mentor

iii. Fighter (Persecutor) → Challenger
Fighter → Dominating, Harsh, Rigid Taskmaster
Challenger → Assertive, Fair, Visionary Innovator

iv. Victim → Creator
Victim → Defeated, Excuse-driven, Passive Spectator
Creator → Resourceful, Growth-oriented, Accountable Problem-Solver

5. Dysfunctional → Functional Roles in Relationships

For personal, family, and romantic relationships

i. Avoider → Engager
Avoider → Emotionally distant, Detached, Evasive Ghost
Engager → Present, Emotionally available, Authentic Connector

ii. Rescuer → Guide
Rescuer → Overprotective, Controlling, Suffocating Over-giver
Guide → Compassionate, Encouraging, Balanced Supporter

iii. Fighter (Persecutor) → Challenger
Fighter → Critical, Confrontational, Demanding Dictator
Challenger → Honest, Direct, Motivating Truth-Teller

iv. Victim → Creator
Victim → Helpless, Needy, Self-pitying Drainer
Creator → Self-aware, Solution-focused, Confident Life-builder

6. Dysfunctional → Functional Roles in Coaching

i. Avoider → Engager
Avoider → Passive, Non-confrontational, Hesitant Fence-Sitter
Engager → Decisive, Adaptive, Growth-driven Strategist

ii. Rescuer → Guide
Rescuer → Over-involved, Dependency-creating, Self-sacrificing Firefighter
Guide → Wise, Thoughtful, Enabling Coach

iii. Fighter (Persecutor) → Challenger
Fighter → Aggressive, Overpowering, Harsh Drill Sergeant
Challenger → Bold, Visionary, Empowering Trailblazer

iv. Victim → Creator
Victim → Reactive, Stuck, Fear-driven Excuse-Maker
Creator → Accountable, Proactive, Visionary Game-Changer

The most important point to note is that our work is to turn our torch of awareness inwards to discover, uncover and become aware of our own limiting roles; and be creators of our own peaceful warrior roles.

It is unhealthy, unwise and ineffective to turn the torch outwards and look for limiting roles in others. That doesn’t serve them and it definitely doesn’t serve us.

It is not our job to see other's hole in the soul, small mind and limiting roles because in the instant we are seeing their hole in the soul, small mind, limiting roles; in that very instant, our hole in the soul, small mind and limiting roles are activated and getting strengthened. ]]><![CDATA[XIV How do we discover our Limiting Habits?]]>Fri, 28 Feb 2025 18:30:00 GMThttps://www.jyotigulati.com/road-to-freedom-v2/xiv-how-do-we-discover-our-limiting-habitsUnderstanding our Enneagram (pronounced as ANY-a-gram) Style helps us to see and understand our default limiting habits and responses, which have made us captive to our worldview. It is like literally being caught up in a box. Both professional and personal growth requires us to break free from this box.

The Enneagram is a study of the 9 basic types of people and explains why we behave the way we do and points to specific directions for individual growth.

Research in the American Journal of Psychiatry describes the Enneagram as a personality theory that characterises nine distinct strategies by which the human psyche develops a worldview, and relates to the self and others. The theory proposes that by adulthood, individuals have developed a predominant personality strategy to cope with the external environment. Each of the nine core types described by the Enneagram has an associated basic fear, basic desire, and predictable pattern of behaviour in times of stress and security. The Enneagram uses these basic fears and desires to describe the essential motivations underlying much of the resulting behaviour. It thus captures a range of behaviour for each type and is capable of providing a great deal of insight into an individual's underlying psychology for greater awareness and growth.

Enneagram is focused on internal motivations leading to external behaviours, instead of just being focused on external behaviours. It helps us uncover our blind spots, our behavioural patterns that everyone else can see except our own self, and provide a pathway to break those patterns.

Personality is not something we have to accept as something fixed in us. It is a box that we have trapped ourselves in to protect ourselves. We built this box to protect ourselves in response to hurts in our growing years, or hurts from other lifetimes, or hurts passed down to us by our ancestors. Our personality is our self-defence mechanism that we have strengthened over the years to protect ourselves from our fears.

In our RYD Language:
Hole-in-the-Soul in the spiritual body leads to small mind in the Mental Body, which leads to limiting roles in the Emotional Body, which leads to low energy in the Energy Body; which leads to a certain limiting Personality traits expressed through the Physical Body.

Your coach will help you with your Enneagram Style assessment.

To assess and understand your own style, you can read The Enneagram Made Easy: Discover the 9 Types of People by Reene Baron and Elizabeth Wagle.

Here’s another article for a quick over-view of Enneagram: Understanding the Enneagram
]]><![CDATA[XV. Understanding your Limiting Expression of your Default Being]]>Thu, 27 Feb 2025 18:30:00 GMThttps://www.jyotigulati.com/road-to-freedom-v2/understanding-your-limiting-expression-of-your-default-beingUnderstanding your Limiting Expression of your Default Being sourced in Fear Consciousness

As an example, here's a sketch of the Limiting Expression of my Default Being sourced in Fear Consciousness:

Take support from your coach to become aware of your Fear Consciousness so that you can progress on your Good to Great journey by dissolving your Fear Consciousness. If you can see your Fears, you can dissolve them.

Our Default Fear Consciousness creates a Limiting Life for us. Here’s a map of my Default Life with a name of the movie of my default life - How I am a Master of 'How Not to be Loved, Never Create Super Success and Always Struggle for Money?'

In your limiting default Life, what are you a Master of?

Download the below RYD Tool to create
i. the Limiting Expression of your Default Being sourced in Fear Consciousness
ii. the resulting Limiting Life - give a name to the default movie of your life
iii. the Limitless Expression of your Authentic Being sourced in Love Consciousness
iv. the resulting created Limitless Life - give a name to the created movie of your life

ryd_ld_tool_hole2whole_v1.0_.pptx
File Size:	65 kb
File Type:	pptx

Download File

When you can visually see the default life that you are living, you will find yourself becoming aware of your patterns. What you become aware of, you can shift out of.

]]><![CDATA[XVI. Self-Created Barriers create Limited Results]]>Tue, 25 Feb 2025 18:30:00 GMThttps://www.jyotigulati.com/road-to-freedom-v2/xvi-self-created-barriers-create-limited-resultsHere is the Cycle of Life, visually expressing how we are creators of our own life:

Here is how we end up creating barriers to our own progress:

We have 5 choices with which we can respond to our default wiring as above:

1.Become a Fighter (Persecutor, Blamer, Controller)
The Fighter dominates, criticises, and creates fear in others to maintain control.

Key Behaviours
i. Fight with the world to get what we want, fight to change in the world what we don't like.
ii. We get some part of what we want though more things to fight come up continually, we get no access to have it all and life becomes an endless struggle
iii. Fighting the symptoms and not healing the source of the disease will ensure we will keep fighting the symptoms all our life.
iv. We blame others and refuse personal responsibility.
v. We use control, criticism, or aggression to maintain power.
vi. We act superior and dismiss others’ emotions or needs.
vii. We see problems as external, rarely self-reflecting.
viii. We might use passive-aggression, sarcasm, or direct attacks.

If we find ourselves in a Fighter role, we want to explore underlying fears and the desire for control.

2. Become a Victim (Helpless, Powerless)
The Victim feels overwhelmed, powerless, and unable to change their situation.

Key Behaviours
i. Give up, moan and groan
ii. Feel helpless at the injustice with no access to our own power
iii. Create the energy for more injustice done to us and our loved ones
iv. Feel incapable and dependent on others.
v. Seek rescuers instead of taking action.
vi. Complain but don't take responsibility for change.
vii. Avoid decision-making out of fear of failure.
viii. Expects others to fix problems or provide solutions.

If we find ourselves in a Victim role, we want to develop self-agency and empowerment instead of seeking external saviours.

3. Become an Avoider (Passive, Withdrawn)
The Avoider steps back from conflict, discomfort, or responsibility to maintain emotional distance.

Key Behaviours
i. Become an Ostrich with its head in the sand and avoid seeing Reality as it shows up.
ii. Ignore problems, or refuse to face the truth. Pretend that a difficult situation doesn’t exist instead of dealing with it.
iii. Distract ourselves with busyness, work, or entertainment - eating food, working too hard, partying, hobbies, sports, intoxicants, learning new things and then getting bored after a while, etc. to release the stress; instead of seeing the mess that there is and dealing with it with raw honesty and courage.
iv. Withdraw ourselves emotionally or physically from challenges.
v. Avoid making decisions or engaging in conflicts.
vi. Use denial or minimise issues rather than confronting them.
vii. Fears rejection or emotional intensity.

If we find ourselves in an Avoider role, we want to face discomfort and engage actively rather than disconnecting.

4. Rescuer
Rescuer behaves in ways that seem helpful but can actually be disempowering to others.

Key Behaviours
i. Ignoring their own needs - Prioritising others while neglecting personal well-being.
ii. Over-helping – Doing things for others that they can (and should) do for themselves.
iii. Avoiding Conflict – Stepping in to "fix" situations rather than allowing direct confrontation.
iv. Taking Responsibility for Others' Feelings – Feeling an obligation to make others happy or solve their problems.
v. Seeking Validation Through Helping – Gaining self-worth from being needed.
vi. Feeling Guilty When Not Helping – Experiencing discomfort or guilt if they don’t step in.
vii. Enabling Dependency – Preventing others from growing by not allowing them to struggle and learn.

If we find ourselves in this role, we want to shift from enabling dependency to empowering others.

5. Become a Peaceful Warrior sourced in Love Consciousness
i. Fight the battle with our demons inside (limiting expression of our default Being) instead of with their reflection in the world outside.
ii. Sure, honour our intuition and take actions from there. Protect ourselves, if there is a need because symptoms need to be cared for too.
iii. And yet, simultaneously take on working on the source of the disease. We work on the source by
a. learning, growing and evolving to the next level of what it means to be a human being, by journeying from evolutionary Fear towards transcendent Love through Growth Habits and Transformative Practises - Leadership Depth
c. exponentially increasing our performance, productivity, effectiveness, innovation and creativity to be the best in our profession by standing on the shoulders of giants in our domain - Craft Mastery
c. contributing to humanity through our work - Business Excellence

]]><![CDATA[XVII What are the Peaceful Warrior roles?]]>Mon, 24 Feb 2025 18:30:00 GMThttps://www.jyotigulati.com/road-to-freedom-v2/xvii-what-are-the-peaceful-warrior-rolesPeaceful Warrior roles are healthy functional roles sourced in Love Consciousness that allow people to engage in life with self-responsibility, emotional intelligence, and authentic relationships.

For each limiting role sourced in Fear Consciousness, we want to shift to a peaceful warrior role sourced in Love Consciousness.

1. Victim → Powerful Creator

Shift Needed: From feeling powerless to taking responsibility for our choices.

Key Behaviours of the Creator:
i. Focuses on possibilities and solutions instead of helplessness.
ii. Takes ownership of actions and emotions.
iii. Seeks growth and learning rather than external rescue.
iv. Asks, "What can I do to change my situation?" instead of "Why does this always happen to me?"

Note to the RYD Coaches:
Psychodrama Strategy - Role-play self-agency, re-examine past helplessness with a new empowered perspective.

2. Avoider → Truthful Engager

Shift Needed: From withdrawing to engaging with courage and presence.

Key Behaviours of the Engager:
i. Confronts issues directly and constructively instead of avoiding.
ii. Stays present in challenging emotions rather than avoiding them by distracting themselves
iii. Takes decisive action rather than procrastinating.
iv. Asks, "How can I address this situation instead of avoiding it?"

Note to the RYD Coaches:
Psychodrama Strategy - Enact scenarios of healthy confrontation, explore past avoidance patterns.

3. Fighter → Assertive Challenger

Shift Needed: From blaming and controlling to challenging with respect.

Key Behaviours of the Challenger:
i. Uses assertion, not aggression, to set boundaries and expectations.
ii. Encourages growth in others rather than tearing them down.
iii. Takes responsibility for own emotions rather than projecting onto others.
iv. Asks, "How can I challenge others in a way that empowers, not controls?"

Note to RYD Coaches:
Psychodrama Strategy - Role-reversal with those they have persecuted, practice constructive dialogue.

4. Rescuer → Supportive Guide

Shift Needed: From enabling dependency to empowering others.

Key Behaviours of the Guide:
i. Support others, while letting them own their journey.
ii. Encourage self-reliance instead of fixing everything.
iii. Ask powerful questions rather than giving advice.
iv. Ask, "How can I support you in solving this yourself?"

Note to the RYD Coaches:
Psychodrama Strategy: Enact scenarios where the "rescued" person steps into their own power.

Instead of repeating unconscious patterns, Psychodrama helps people to become viscerally aware of their repeating sub-conscious patterns and experiment with functional roles in a safe space.]]><![CDATA[XVIII Power to Choose]]>Sun, 23 Feb 2025 18:30:00 GMThttps://www.jyotigulati.com/road-to-freedom-v2/xviii-power-to-chooseAt any point, we have a CHOICE:

To CHOOSE in response to the situation we find ourselves in:

to either fill the hole in our soul (I am not good enough; I am all alone, no one loves me; I am not important) by making the choice to be a Peaceful Warrior sourced in love consciousness (whole soul)
or
to run away from that responsibility by choosing to be either a Victim or a Fighter or an Avoider or a Rescuer.

If we run away from filling the hole in our Soul, we by default CHOOSE the hole in the soul, small mind, limiting roles, low energy and limiting habits.

If we don’t make a CHOICE, we have already made the default CHOICE to be the hole in the soul, small mind, limiting roles, low energy and limiting habits.

Therefore, we want to consciously make the CHOICE to be our whole soul in the spiritual body, big mind in the Mental Body, peaceful warrior roles in the Emotional Body and uplifting energy in the Energy Body.

In that CHOICE, we choose the Healthy Habits of our Enneagram Style.

If we are not making the CHOICE, our default hole in the soul, small mind, limiting roles and limiting habits of our Enneagram Style become the CHOICE.

Therefore, choose moment to moment. Have a structure of success to choose moment to moment, maybe an alarm every one hour.

Our Power to Choose gives us access to our Power to Create.
]]><![CDATA[XIX An Example of how our Choice of Response shapes our life]]>Sat, 22 Feb 2025 18:30:00 GMThttps://www.jyotigulati.com/road-to-freedom-v2/xix-an-example-of-how-our-choice-of-response-shapes-our-lifeAn Example of how 'Who we choose to be' in response to situations, shapes our life

My husband and I had an ugly fight in Oct 2019. In that fight, my hand got fractured.

To help you understand the distinction between the 5 choices we have, here's an example of the 4 choices I could have made in response to my fractured arm, the choice I made and the possible outcome of each choice:

i. j as a Victim after her fractured arm:

Surrenders. Blind faith that things will work out. Continues to stay in the relationship; silently suffering; pushing sadness, pain, resentment under the carpet at the continuing disrespect of her as a wife, a mother and a daughter-in-law.

Goes deeper and deeper into Vipassana but it helps on the surface. She steps into spiritual arrogance, feeling and preaching that she has arrived because she has a strong spiritual practice, which unfortunately doesn’t touch her heart. Erases all pain from her consciousness and pushes it many layers deeper. That gives her a false sense of confidence that she has gone beyond pain.

Hidden anger against her father without even being present to it.

Losing power to run her business, getting disconnected from herself. Becomes a preacher instead of a coach.

Living life feeling as if she has found peace, not realising what she has is only the icing on the cow dung cake.

ii. j as a Fighter after her fractured arm:

How dare he? I am not going to take this. Continuously vomiting her anger, resentment, bitterness, rage on others. Hires a lawyer, drags her husband to the court, fights custody battle for kids and monthly maintenance for the amount more than what her husband can afford and wins the long drawn legal battle over years, which neither fulfils her nor gives her access to authentic happiness.

Builds her business by working 18 hours a day without realising workaholism and hard work is her way to not feel the emptiness and pain of her life, motivates others to become bigger Fighters, fights for women rights and wins laurels for it but unfortunately creates more pain against women in the world because what you fight grows.

Creates wealth, goes on foreign holidays, gets covered in newspapers, has 10,000 connections on LinkedIn, attends networking events, binge-eats, drinks alcohol, sometimes does drugs, smokes, has multiple affairs - all this to fill the void within. Nothing fulfils, nothing brings peace and happiness, she becomes more and more zombie like with every passing minute, a lost soul.

Becomes a motivational speaker instead of a Coach. People feel good when they are in her seminar but go back to living their empty lives as they step out of the seminar hall. Her work gets limelight and camera time, but doesn’t really create any impact.

Dies alone and angry, angry at herself, at God, at her life; never experiencing peace, love or joy.

iii. j as a Rescuer after her fractured arm:

She ignores her own pain and throws herself into "helping" others, believing she is the only one who can save them. She gives her time, energy, and resources freely, often at the cost of her own well-being. She sees herself as the noble saviour, but deep down, she is terrified of facing her own wounds.

She spends hours comforting others, giving advice, and fixing their problems—even when they don’t ask for it. She takes on the burdens of her children, sisters, parents, friends, team members, coachees and mentees, believing their happiness depends on her. She stays in the relationship with her husband, because she does not have the courage to walk out and live on her own.

She builds a business around healing, coaching and helping others but overextends herself. She refuses to set boundaries and burns out. She seeks validation from those she helps, hoping their gratitude will fill the void inside her.

Despite her efforts, she becomes resentful when others don’t appreciate her sacrifices. She wonders, “After everything I’ve done, why are they not grateful to me?” Her need to rescue keeps those around her weak and dependent, ensuring they never truly step into their own power.

Her business thrives externally but crumbles internally—her team and her coachees rely on her too much, and she micromanages everything. She mistakes control for love.

Eventually, she realises she is drowning in exhaustion, feeling unseen, unheard, and unfulfilled. She is still in pain, but now it is hidden under layers of giving, fixing, and rescuing.

She suppresses her own pain by taking care of everyone else. She tells herself, “They need me. I have to be strong.” She gains a sense of importance by being needed but avoids facing the deep sadness and betrayal she feels. She overextends herself in helping family, friends, colleagues, coachees, mentees, and even strangers, believing she is being compassionate. But beneath this “service” is a desperate attempt to avoid confronting the emptiness within.

She becomes the go-to person for everyone’s problems, offering advice and solutions, yet never allowing herself to be vulnerable. If someone asks about her well-being, she brushes it off with “I’m fine.”.

In her business, she shifts from coaching to hand-holding, rescuing coachees instead of empowering them. She feels burnt out but keeps going because slowing down would mean facing her own wounds.

Eventually, resentment builds. She secretly feels unappreciated and exhausted, but instead of expressing it, she works harder, hoping one day, someone will see her efforts and care for her the way she cares for others. But that day never comes.

She numbs her pain through over-giving, self-sacrifice, and pretending she is fulfilled, until she breaks down, feeling unseen and unloved.

iv. j as a Avoider after her fractured arm:

She distracts herself from her pain. She tells herself, “It’s fine. Everything will work out,” but avoids looking at reality. She pretends nothing is wrong and continues to stay in the relationship than face the ugly truth of her reality.

Instead of dealing with her emotions, she immerses herself in distractions— reading, yoga, karate, golf, coaching, vipassana, Hindustani classical, learning more and more. She keeps herself busy, always doing something, but never addressing the deeper issues. She becomes overly positive, using toxic positivity to deny her pain: “Everything happens for a reason,” she says, while ignoring the growing unease in her heart.

She stays in the relationship, convincing herself that it’s not “that bad.” She avoids difficult conversations, choosing silence over confrontation. She keeps her head down, hoping the storm will pass.

At work, she avoids making tough decisions. She procrastinates and keeps pushing important matters aside. She doesn’t rock the boat, hoping problems will solve by themselves.

Physically, she experiences random aches, exhaustion, or illness—but brushes them off. Emotionally, she feels disconnected. She feels distant from herself, her family, and her purpose.

She distances herself from her pain by throwing herself into distractions. She convinces herself, “It’s not a big deal. I’ll just focus on other things.” Instead of processing the betrayal and emotional abandonment, she buries herself in work, her various interests, signing up for back-to-back courses, and spiritual retreats.

She tells herself she is “moving on” while carefully avoiding any situation that might stir up her emotions. If someone asks her how she fractured her arm, she changes the topic or makes a joke. If sadness creeps in, she immediately finds something to do.

She leans deeper into spirituality attending Vipassana meditation retreats twice a year, reading self-help books, yoga, Karate, Hindustani Classical, piano, but only as an escape rather than a tool for true healing. She intellectualises pain, analysing it rather than feeling it. She adopts a false sense of peace, convincing herself that she is above suffering.

In her business, she becomes hyper-focused on systems and strategies, avoiding deep coaching conversations where emotions might surface. She tells herself she is being “professional,” but in truth, she fears emotional vulnerability.

Over time, she feels a growing emptiness. Despite all the distractions, the pain lingers beneath the surface. No matter how many new hobbies, learning programs she pursues and meditation retreats she attends, she can’t shake the feeling that something is missing.

Eventually, life forces her to face the truth, but by then, the damage is done. She realises she has lost years avoiding pain instead of transforming it. She has built a life of avoidance - living, but never fully feeling.

v. j as a Peaceful Warrior after her fractured arm:
She nurses her bruised arm, feeling the intensely excruciating pain as the orthopaedic doctor turns the dislocated bone back into position without anaesthesia, feeling the anguished betrayal of her kids and husband as she is alone in her room on the first floor hearing laughter drifting from the ground floor party that her in-laws are hosting for the extended family within 2 weeks of the incident.

She is clear in her heart it’s not her fault though she is responsible for everything that happens in her life. She finds the courage with the support of her therapist to walk out of her home 3 months after the incident in honour of her feelings of pain and betrayal. With that she steps up to Gear 1.

She has done a lot of inner work up until then. She now amplifies that 100 times. Signs up for therapy which leads her into Psychodrama. She sets up her new home, one room in a flat with two other flatmates, with one functional hand. Invests heavily in Craft Mastery while her journey of pain strengthens her Leadership Depth because she chooses to process her pain, both of which create a strong foundation for Business Excellence.

It’s as if the whole Universe has come together to support her to be who she is meant to be - her pre-fracture 4:00 am yoga teacher agrees for 2:45 am and 3 pm Karate together become the anchors for her to create an effortless Daily Rhythm of Growth Habits giving her access to Unconditional Happiness (Akaran Khushi) that she has never experienced before.

Strangers suddenly walk into her life to give her a leg up to the next orbit - Bob Burg, Bob Chapman, Herb Propper, Puneeta, mindfulness training from Thich Nhat Hanh Monks from Plum Village.

Business begins to grow effortlessly of its own accord. Actually, it feels effortless and of its own accord but it’s the coming together of her being in purposeful action over the last 10 years, irrespective of the chaos inside or outside.

She steps up to two Vipassana Silence Meditation Retreats of 10 days a year. It’s Covid time. Therefore, she takes support from her mother to do the 10-day silence meditation program on her own at home twice. During June 2021 10-day Vipassana at home after one and half years of massive inner work, she finds forgiveness in her heart for herself and her husband. Inside of that, she invites her husband to recreate the relationship and rebuild the family. Both the kids are brutally traumatised because of the incident and the separation of their parents; and need support of both the parents for their healing. She is finally ready to be a channel of healing for her family.

She steps into Gratitude (Gear 2) and makes the choice to be Childlike Trust and Faith (Gear 3), that leads her to honour her word to be Love with the Integrity she has never experienced before (Gear 4), that leads her to be a channel of her work. She becomes her work. Her work becomes her. Instead of talking about Love and intellectually coaching about being Love, she becomes Love and that grows her business exponentially.

She becomes Unconditional Love and Acceptance; with so much love flowing in her heart to embrace the whole world, and that includes her husband. With that, the pain is fully dissolved. With her continued focus on massive inner work, she accesses pain even from beyond her lifetime – trans-generational pain and pain from previous lifetimes. She processes and dissolves that pain, as well.

She and her husband rediscover the warmth and joy of their best friendship. Kids heal, flourish and blossom. She finds a deeper connection with her parents, finding a way to integrate them in her life by eating lunch together almost daily. She becomes loving, nurturing and caring out of joy and freedom, not as a duty and a burdensome responsibility.

She feels whole and complete, without the neediness for her work to give her purpose, meaning or wealth; without feeling the need of anyone or anything to fill the void because the void is filled up with Love, making her feel joyfully Free.

She makes a massive difference, though nobody knows who she is. She is simply wind beneath the wings, invisible, silent, a loving, nurturing joyous empty space. (Gear 5)]]><![CDATA[XX. Healing Relationships]]>Fri, 21 Feb 2025 18:30:00 GMThttps://www.jyotigulati.com/road-to-freedom-v2/xx-healing-relationshipsHow roles is us and roles in others interact with each other?

23-May-21 / 6:44 am - Session with Herb, my Psychodrama teacher, mentor, guide

Role Discovery and Analysis

I am crying. I got present to the enormous sadness in me, while talking to Herb.

Feeling sadness that my kids don’t really care for me.

Feeling sadness that I don’t feel their connection and love.

Feeling confused about how to respond to them.

Feeling concerned that I am responsible for a growing number of coachees and I haven’t found freedom, as yet.

Feeling self-doubt because how can I coach my coachees to realize their dreams and have it all, when I don’t have it myself.

Feeling certain that I don’t want to recreate relationship with my husband and his parents.

Ironically, feeling relief that the kids are not with me because I don’t have to deal with the emotional upheaval within, along with them not responding to me the way I would like them to.

During the deep-dive with Herb, I understood how the various fear-sourced limiting roles within me are interacting with the various roles of those around me.

After drawing the Relationship Maps, feeling clear, happy, confident and certain that I am here to make a massive difference and that the Universe is supporting me to fulfil on my purpose, vision and mission. Feeling joyously grateful.

15-Mar-25
I drew the below Relationship Map for the role-interaction with my husband nearly 4 years ago, which is when I created a new peaceful warrior role in me - Happy, Confident, Kind Friend - in relationship to my husband, which I only had an intellectual understanding of at that point in time.

I believed even in that moment that as I dissolve Fear Consciousness in me and raise my Consciousness through RYD Growth Habits and Transformative Practises of Yoga, Vipassana, Psychodrama, Journey Within; the relationship will transform. I believed that my experience of the relationship was because of me and not because of him, that I was at the source of whatever that had happened to me, whatever was happening to me and whatever will happen to me.

It has taken me nearly 4 years to fully live at an experiential level the role of Happy, Confident, Kind Friend role in relationship with my husband; experiencing Happy, Understanding, Kind Friend role in him. The journey has been worthwhile as part of which my kids have healed, my relationship with them has healed, I have healed, my husband has healed, my relationship with my parents has healed, my relationship with my in-laws has healed, my business has flourished and I have grown as a human being.

The next leg of my journey of relationship evolution with my husband is to grow into another peaceful warrior role that I have created - Happy, Loving, Romantic Wife. I am looking forward to more Inner Work to dissolve more Fear Consciousness to grow even more as a human being in stepping up to that role. I wouldn't even be one-millionth of a human being if it wasn't for my experience of my relationship with my husband. We both have suffered, we both have grown. I am grateful that we both chose to grow than to separate.

I read Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav 15 years ago. It is this book that gave me belief to not walk out of the relationship into a divorce, which sounded like a very tempting option multiple times. What I read has stayed with me. It is a point on the Ball of Perspective that gives me power to create and strengthen my relationships. What Zukav wrote in the book is that before we are born, our soul chooses the other souls to be in a family system with and asks each soul to behave with us in a specific way so that we can learn what we want to learn in a particular lifetime to fulfil on our Purpose of being born.

I believe my Purpose is to be Love. Love is Love only when Love is Loving even in the face of no Love. Our Spiritual Values are not in reaction to what we receive from the world. Our Spiritual Values are a place to come from in the face of no agreement from the environment. Making the choice to be our Spiritual Values, irrespective of chaos inside or outside, raises our Consciousness.

The implementation of this intellectual understanding by living it, as an outcome of the Heart believing in the truth of this, shifts our consciousness one bit at a time for us to reach the Inner Knowing of the Soul.

Here is the evolution of my relationship with my daughter, drawn out nearly 4 years ago:

It is heart-warming to see my daughter transform from an anguished, sad, angry, belligerent teenager to a beautiful, confident, radiant, happy, joyful young adult, realizing her dream of studying in a great University abroad, contributing through various leadership roles at the University, fully relishing every moment of her life. During our troubled years, I feared she will end up ruining her life over-partying and overdoing everything else that teenagers do in rebellion to not getting the nurturing home that her parents were not providing her with. I am grateful to be a coach that gave me access to the wisdom to heal myself and be a channel of healing for my kids.

Here is the evolution of my relationship with my son, drawn nearly 4 years ago:

During the dark phase of our life, my heart broke in million pieces time and again seeing my son struggle emotionally and see his natural confidence evaporating. My heart broke even more to experience him pushing me away, every time I tried to reach out to him. My coachees experienced my love but my kids did not. They were sad, hurt, traumatised and took out their anger most brutally on me.

It has taken me massive amount of inner work to find my connection back with my son, for him to forgive himself, to forgive his father and to forgive me. I am filled with deep deep gratitude for the kindness and generosity of the Universe to give me the strength to do my inner work to be the mother that my kids deserve and be a soothing, nurturing, loving space for them to find their connection with their own happy, loving, healthy, responsible, confident self.

My heart, soul, mind and body fills up with gratitude for the magic of transformation I have been in the experience of. With folded hands, tears of gratitude and joy, I bow down to the Universe for this gift. We are a happy, loving, nurturing family - this part of my Dream Lifestyle is realized.

]]><![CDATA[XXI What is the Path of the Peaceful Warrior?]]>Wed, 19 Feb 2025 18:30:00 GMThttps://www.jyotigulati.com/road-to-freedom-v2/xxi-what-is-the-path-of-the-peaceful-warriorThis is a journey over 5 Gears by dropping Limiting Habits and inculcating Growth Habits and Transformative Practises to create the highest level of fitness and joyous well-being across all the 5 bodies (Physical, Energy, Emotional, Mental, Spiritual) of our Being.

Each Gear is about elevating one’s consciousness by living from the Distinctions of a specific leadership muscle, working at the level of physical, energy, emotional, mental and spiritual habits. We call them RYD Habits.

Gear 1: Discovering our destiny, our purpose this life-time. Strengthening Agility of Mind™ leadership muscle to see the extraordinary in ourself. There is deep stillness within, experience of unconditional happiness (akaran khushi) with nowhere to go and nothing to prove as we experience our own love for our own self. Happiness becomes the place to come from, rather than a place to go to. Intentions and dreams become the place to come from, rather than a place to go to. Personal Mastery.

Gear 2: Making a difference through our work, playing our big game with Gratitude in our heart and peace in our mind. Strengthening Being of Service™ leadership muscle to see the light in everyone and the extraordinary in each one in our space, irrespective of however they are and however they are not. Relationship Mastery.

Gear 3: Experiencing joy of effortless existence as the world around us experiences us as extraordinary. People begin to see the extraordinary in us as we strengthen our Communicating Powerfully in the World of Others™ leadership muscle. We experience oneness with the Universe and with Life itself as we begin to experience Life as extraordinary, and see everyone and everything around us with Reverence. Business Mastery.

Gear 4: Experiencing deep fulfilment as others in our space experience themselves as extraordinary as they begin to see the extraordinary in their own self in our presence. The Authentic Leader in us is born as we get access to significant Power to Create™ by strengthening our Delivery on our Word™ leadership muscle and living life with Integrity. Leadership Mastery.

Gear 5: People in our space experience each other as extraordinary as they begin to see the extraordinary in each other. Our presence causes a shift in the space around us as we inspire a culture of trust, partnership and compassionate love; with each one supporting the other to be successful. The Master in us is born, as we strengthen our Excellence™ leadership muscle to have our Power to Create in full bloom. We become The Master Creator. We intend; it gets created effortlessly and almost instantaneously. We experience Unconditional Love for all beings and all things. Life Mastery.

Create the Limitless Expression of your Authentic Being sourced in Love Consciousness and the Life Map of your Limitless Life. You will find that your 5-year Dream Lifestyle is an outcome of you mastering the art of being your Big Mind and Whole Soul.

See below an example of the above to support you to create your own.

Here's the sketch of the Limitless Expression of my Authentic Being sourced in Love Consciousness:

See how I am mastering the art of being my Big Mind and Whole Soul:

Dream Lifestyle is an expression of our Big Mind and our Whole Soul. Here's my current 5-Year Dream Lifestyle – j's Dream Lifestyle 2028

You can use the above as reference to create or update yours, if you feel inspired to do the same.

Below is a summary Statement of my Dream Lifestyle expressing the Map of my Limitless Life, sourced in my Big Mind and Whole Soul:

______________________________________________________________________________
I am happy and grateful to be the world's best nation-building world-transforming serial entrepreneur’s Coach; world's number 1 best-selling author; super successful, super wealthy and super healthy making a massive difference through my businesses, books, articles and life; looking and feeling beautiful, gorgeous and attractive; growing more beautiful, younger and healthier with every passing day; experiencing the highest level of health, fitness and joyous well-being - physically, energetically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually; being love, gratitude, reverence, integrity, mastery, joy, abundance, humility and equanimity; joyously fulfilled at having authentic, loving, positive, uplifting, joyously fulfilling relationships with Anya, Shivenn, Aditya, Dad, Mom, Aditya’s parents, Di, Rose and their families, my coachees, mentees and everyone else in my space; with each one of us living our spiritual values; leading ourselves and our work from good to great, realizing our greatest dreams in deepest communion with our highest self and having it all with joyous ease and grace; enabling our country to be the world’s most developed, beautiful, greenest nation with her citizens happiest, healthiest and the most prosperous by strengthening leadership depth, craft mastery and business excellence creating Spaces of Grace in businesses we coach; nurturing 60 Indian Businesses to be Fortune Global 100, 300 Indian Businesses to be Fortune Global 500 and 1080 Indian Businesses to be Forbes Global 2000 creating a Brave New World of Love, Peace, Joy, Loving Kindness and Abundance, transforming what it means to be a business, what it means to be a leader, what it means to be a man, what it means to be a woman and inside of that what it means to be human being. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
______________________________________________________________________________

Sharing the template for you to create your
i, Fear Consciousness Map
ii. resulting Limiting Default Life Map
iii. Love Consciousness Map
iv. resulting Limitless Created Life Map
v. Dream Statement which is a summary of your Limitless Created Map

This depth of understanding about your own self will increase your Space of Grace, giving you access to your Power to Choose, using which you can strengthen your Power to Create life in alignment with your reality-defying intentions and impossible, unimaginable, crazy-big dreams to make a massive difference in the world.

ryd_ld_tool_hole2whole_v1.0_.pptx
File Size:	65 kb
File Type:	pptx

Download File

]]><![CDATA[XXII How to live like a Peaceful Warrior?]]>Tue, 18 Feb 2025 18:30:00 GMThttps://www.jyotigulati.com/road-to-freedom-v2/xxii-how-to-live-like-a-peaceful-warriorHere's how to live like a Peaceful Warrior:

The journey of the Peaceful Warrior is simple, not complicated; though it is difficult, not easy. It is about first becoming aware of the default wiring and then step by step dismantling it to create new wiring by mastering the Distinctions in each Gear through daily practice of the RYD Habits and Transformative Practises.

If not done already, reflect and identify your own limiting expression of your Being and sketch how you have mastered the art of being your small mind. Then, create the limitless expression of your Being and sketch how you will master the art of being your Big Mind.

The awareness itself will loosen the stranglehold of the hole in your soul and its impact on your life. Making the conscious effort to live life, moment to moment, from the Wholeness of your Soul, Big Mind, Limitless Roles, Healthy Habits of your Enneagram Style is what will ultimately cause the shift in your consciousness and create the transformation to the Greatest Version of who you are meant to be.

The Peaceful Warrior actually travels 3 journeys to cause the transformation of the Self. Each journey without the other two journeys is incomplete.

1. Leadership Depth: The inner journey of personal transformation from Fear to Love, from a Fighter or a Victim or a Rescuer or an Avoider to a Peaceful Warrior, embracing our default fears to become Whole and Complete by stepping into Pure Consciousness and Transcendent Love for greater impact in the world by living our Purpose of Life through our work. The measure of Leadership Depth is to Have It All:

i. Deeply fulfilling, successful business supporting us to live our purpose of life; gifting us with impact, contribution and financial freedom
ii. Loving, harmonious, positive, uplifting relationships at work, at home and in the world
iii. Happy, healthy, responsible, confident kids with their genius joyfully expressed
iv. Nourishing, nurturing ourselves to the highest level of health, fitness and joyous well-being - physically, energetically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually
v. Making a massive difference through the work we do

2. Craft Mastery: The journey of playing to be the World's best, a Master of our Craft, in service of our customers' said and unsaid needs by becoming a Thought Leader and being at the source of Transformation of our industry globally. Craft Mastery not for the sake of ambition, but as an outcome of being purpose-inspired and Being-of-Service consciousness. Reading and learning not for intellectual stimulation or entertainment, but for the purpose of contributing to the communities that we are committed to serve through our Business. Craft Mastery enables the delivery of the Value Proposition at the level our customers have no right to expect and has them queue outside our door to buy from us, instead of us chasing them to buy from us.

3. Business Excellence: The outer journey of professional success by living our purpose through our work, leading our business from good to great, generating a healthy Triple Bottom Line (3P - Profit, People, Planet); creating a legacy by making a massive difference to our employees, customer communities, business partners, investors and all other stakeholders.
i. Nurturing Customer Relationships: Coaching our team to work from Being of Service consciousness, creating a powerful Value Proposition for our customers that makes a massive difference, by marrying what’s missing in the world for them with Craft Mastery. Frameworks to leverage: Blue Ocean, Verne Harnish’s Scaling-up’s 7-Strata, Alex Osterwalder's Business Model Canvas

ii. Operational Excellence: Creative ways to reduce our and our team’s time, effort and resources and yet increasing value for our customer communities creating a powerful Profit Proposition. Frameworks to leverage: 1FOR5 (1 Action to fulfil 5 Intentions), DLCM (Do Less to Create More Value), Verne Harnish's Scaling-up Methodology

iii. Extraordinary Service: Serving and contributing to our customers, employees, business partners, investors and all other stakeholders at the level they have no right to expect; sourced in a powerful People Proposition creating a super-performing, nurturing, learning culture enabled through Leadership Depth .

Keep learning, implementing and massively contributing to joyously lead yourself and your businesses from good to great, realize your greatest dreams in deepest communion with your Highest Self and Have it All with ease and grace; while having lots of fun and adventure along the way.

Loving you,
j.

]]>