XVI. Self-Created Barriers create Limited Results

Here is the Cycle of Life, visually expressing how we are creators of our own life:

​Here is how we end up creating barriers to our own progress:

We have 5 choices with which we can respond to our default wiring as above:

1.Become a Fighter (Persecutor, Blamer, Controller)
The Fighter dominates, criticises, and creates fear in others to maintain control.

Key Behaviours
i. Fight with the world to get what we want, fight to change in the world what we don't like.
ii. We get some part of what we want though more things to fight come up continually, we get no access to have it all and life becomes an endless struggle
iii. Fighting the symptoms and not healing the source of the disease will ensure we will keep fighting the symptoms all our life.
iv. We blame others and refuse personal responsibility.
v. We use control, criticism, or aggression to maintain power.
vi.  We act superior and dismiss others’ emotions or needs.
vii.  We see problems as external, rarely self-reflecting.
viii.  We might use passive-aggression, sarcasm, or direct attacks.

If we find ourselves in a Fighter role, we want to explore underlying fears and the desire for control.

2. Become a Victim (Helpless, Powerless)
The Victim feels overwhelmed, powerless, and unable to change their situation.

Key Behaviours
i. Give up, moan and groan
ii. Feel helpless at the injustice with no access to our own power
iii. Create the energy for more injustice done to us and our loved ones
iv. Feel incapable and dependent on others.
v. Seek rescuers instead of taking action.
vi.  Complain but don't take responsibility for change.
vii.  Avoid decision-making out of fear of failure.
viii.  Expects others to fix problems or provide solutions.

If we find ourselves in a Victim role, we want to develop self-agency and empowerment instead of seeking external saviours.
 
3. Become an Avoider (Passive, Withdrawn)
The Avoider steps back from conflict, discomfort, or responsibility to maintain emotional distance.

Key Behaviours
i. Become an Ostrich with its head in the sand and avoid seeing Reality as it shows up.
ii. Ignore problems, or refuse to face the truth. Pretend that a difficult situation doesn’t exist instead of dealing with it.
iii. Distract ourselves with busyness, work, or entertainment - eating food, working too hard, partying, hobbies, sports, intoxicants, learning new things and then getting bored after a while, etc. to release the stress; instead of seeing the mess that there is and dealing with it with raw honesty and courage.
iv. Withdraw ourselves emotionally or physically from challenges.
v. Avoid making decisions or engaging in conflicts.
vi. Use denial or minimise issues rather than confronting them.
vii. Fears rejection or emotional intensity.
 
If we find ourselves in an Avoider role, we want to face discomfort and engage actively rather than disconnecting.
 
4. Rescuer
Rescuer behaves in ways that seem helpful but can actually be disempowering to others.

Key Behaviours
i. Ignoring their own needs - Prioritising others while neglecting personal well-being.
ii. Over-helping – Doing things for others that they can (and should) do for themselves.
iii. Avoiding Conflict – Stepping in to "fix" situations rather than allowing direct confrontation. 
iv. Taking Responsibility for Others' Feelings – Feeling an obligation to make others happy or solve their problems. 
v. Seeking Validation Through Helping – Gaining self-worth from being needed. 
vi.  Feeling Guilty When Not Helping – Experiencing discomfort or guilt if they don’t step in. 
vii.  Enabling Dependency – Preventing others from growing by not allowing them to struggle and learn.
 
If we find ourselves in this role, we want to shift from enabling dependency to empowering others.
 
5. Become a Peaceful Warrior sourced in Love Consciousness
i. Fight the battle with our demons inside (limiting expression of our default Being) instead of with their reflection in the world outside.
ii. Sure, honour our intuition and take actions from there. Protect ourselves, if there is a need because symptoms need to be cared for too.
iii. And yet, simultaneously take on working on the source of the disease. We work on the source by
a. learning, growing and evolving to the next level of what it means to be a human being, by journeying from evolutionary Fear towards transcendent Love through Growth Habits and Transformative Practises - Leadership Depth
c. exponentially increasing our performance, productivity, effectiveness, innovation and creativity to be the best in our profession by standing on the shoulders of giants in our domain - Craft Mastery
c. contributing to humanity through our work - Business Excellence