Dance with Cancer

2 days before I am due to travel to Maldives and Spain for 15 days with one day hop back into the country in between the 2 trips, the oncologist tells me I have a 8.0 cm X 7.8 cm X 7.3 cm cancerous tumour in my stomach.

What a beautiful gift from the Universe to put into practise what I deeply believe in that we can self-heal ourselves in partnership with our Inner Wisdom by integrating nutrition, fasting, yoga, meditation, alternative medicinal systems like Ayurveda and Homeopathy, emotional healing, using the power of the mind and being our spiritual values.

Another opportunity to learn, contribute and grow; another journey to uncover what's hidden within, heal and make a difference; another playground to practise being my spiritual values - love, gratitude, reverence, integrity, mastery, joy, abundance, humility, vulnerability, authenticity, loving kindness, equanimity, childlike trust and faith; another training ground to step up from intellectual understanding to experiential understanding supporting me to level up in the game to be the master of my craft. It is also a way for the Universe to support me to be more consistent in my Daily Rhythm. Every moment, the Universe is gifting me with my highest good.

The accidental discovery of the tumour was orchestrated by the Universe because I have no symptoms. First time I thought of my gynaecologist was when I wanted to confirm that I wasn’t pregnant around 15-Dec but that didn't create much urgency. Then a week later, our daughter messaged on the family group in the middle of the night that she wants to meet the gynaecologist because she hasn’t had her periods for 2 months. That pushed me out of my inertia to schedule the appointment with the gynaecologist. The last time I met her was 15 years ago when she delivered our second baby. When she suggested ultrasound to rule out the unlikely chance of pregnancy, I was open. The radiologist discovered the tumour, sent me back to the gynaecologist who sent me to the oncologist who advised PET-Scan and confirmed cancerous tumour on seeing the report. He wanted to immediately do biopsy to locate the exact position of the tumour and do the surgery to remove it.

That route doesn’t heart and soul align with me in the moment. So, I went to our family doctor who is a homeopath and started with the homeopathic treatment. Reached out to my senior Yoga mentor to request change in my yoga practise to work on dissolving the tumour through yoga therapy. Reached out to my Nutrition coach who advised me to move to raw. It isn’t a difficult transition as  2/3 of my meals are already raw. Shared with Leon (my life, leadership and business coach) in our weekly coaching session my commitment to heal myself naturally. His holding my space brings me greater confidence, ease and grace to travel this journey. I continue to be awed by the caring support that the Universe offers us on our journey from good to great. Kay Lord, Herb's business partner in the US, is coming to Mumbai to run 2-weeks of Psychodrama training for the trainers in March. That will give me an opportunity to heal the little scared girl I had discovered crouched in the corner of a room during the training with Herb a year ago.

Adds, my spouse, is onboard with my decision. It didn't feel right to tell my parents. Though, Di, my sister who is a pathologist with the Indian Army threw a fit. For her, I am consciously choosing death. I have promised her to review my markers and my decision a month later. That gives me freedom from emotional pressure from her and Rose, my other sister, for at least a month.

I am happy to embrace Death with Grace and Gratitude whenever it comes along - now or 100 years later. Till then, life is a fun adventure to learn, contribute and grow.

A great question at this point is - Then, what’s the point of doing the RYD Habits, doing yoga, karate, functional fitness, plant-based diet, sleep early, waking up in wee hours, meditation, continuously doing the inner work to raise my consciousness, spending hours learning to be the master of my craft, taking the difficult road with the commitment to build a great business that makes a massive difference when at any point, Death may invite us to dance with her out of our current existence?

Isn’t then life meaningless, a futile journey? Why not live the easy life and have fun being addicted to everything possible because anyway one will die, whichever life we choose - life of growth habits or life of limiting habits?

Here’s the point I am standing at on the Ball of Perspective. Take it if it contributes to you or change it in a way it does.

Let me address the first question first - How did Cancer happen to me inspite of all the growth habits and transformative practises I have been following for years? 

All dis-ease in the physical body is a function of un-ease, discomfort and trauma in the other 4 bodies - energy, emotional, mental, spiritual - and for healing the physical body, we have to heal all the 5 bodies.

Our purpose every lifetime is to move from darkness to light - from low energy to joyous energy in the energy body, from feeling sad / mad / bad to feeling glad in the emotional body, from limiting thought patterns (small mind) to limitless thought patterns (big mind) in the mental body, from fear (hole in the soul) to love (whole soul) in the spiritual body. We call this journey from Darkness to Light - Leadership Depth - which enables us to have it all.

Business Excellence is the playground where we play the great game of leading our business from good to great to make a massive difference to the communities we have a privilege to belong. Craft Mastery and Leadership Depth strengthen us to play the great game of Business Excellence.

As per Louise Hay, the limiting thought and emotional state that causes Tumour is - Nursing old hurts and shocks. Building remorse.

The limitless thought pattern and emotional state is - I lovingly release the past and turn my attention to this new day. All is well.

The limiting thought and emotional state that causes Cancer is Deep hurt. Longstanding resentment. Deep secret or grief eating away at the self. Carrying hatreds. "What's the use?"

The limitless thought pattern and emotional state is - I lovingly forgive and release all of the past. I choose to fill my world with joy. I love and approve of myself.

Though I have done lot of inner work, there's a lot more work to be done. The cancerous tumour is a gift, a truth teller, the way shower of the next set of work to be undertaken which I am ready to get started with grace and gratitude. Every month I take off is a month of re-invention. I discovered my next cycle of re-invention in this month 😊

The growth habits and transformative practises have helped me tremendously - I have more joyous energy at 50 than I had at 25, I am happier and more fulfilled than I have ever been, my business has grown creating greater impact and financial freedom, from near divorce to a marriage that we are both committed to nurture, our kids have begun to heal and flourish. Every area of my wheel of life has grown because of the RYD habits (growth habits and transformative practises) and I am deeply grateful for the growth I am experiencing. Their promise is not that there will be no breakdowns along the journey. Their promise is that we would have the inner strength to transform every breakdown into a breakthrough. 

In the face of every breakdown, we have the privilege of the choice to break down or break through by raising our consciousness. We are spiritual beings with a tiny human experience on a journey, possibly over many lifetimes, with the purpose to become a whole soul. 

I love and accept myself as I am right now.
I love and accept Life as it is right now.

And, that's the gift I want you to experience because at that consciousness, we get full access to our inner Power to Create.

Rest of the month

Maldives was a fun family vacation. After that, flew to Canary Islands, Spain to attend Verne Harnish's CEO Bootcamp. It was a huge learning experience, not only because it up-levelled my craft on Business Excellence but also the travel to another country dissolved resistance (read fears) to travelling outside the country and taking long-distance flights. Met my MBA batchmate after 25 years in Helsinki in between flights. I not only re-connected with her but also re-connected with my younger self.

A Bagful of more learnings. Will leave that to another day 😊

Let's continue to inquire, reflect and journey forward to joyously lead ourselves and our businesses from good to great, realize our dreams and have it all with ease and grace; experiencing beauty, balance and harmony within and all around; while having lots of fun and adventure along the way 💜

Loving you,
​j.