What is an addiction? As per the Oxford English Dictionary, being addicted means when you are physically and mentally dependent on a particular substance. In other words, you no longer have the choice; when your state of being relaxed is a function of something else outside of you; when you are dependent on something else to be relaxed, peaceful and joyous. 

Lets make a list of what that something else could be - morning tea, chocolates, chewing gum, sweets, smoking, alcohol, watching TV, over-eating, junk food, work, shopping, facebook, whatsapp, email, linkedin. You may say some of these are harmless. The fact is if you no longer have a choice, and you find yourself compulsively reaching out to your favourite addiction to de-stress; you have gone beyond the habit being a mere harmless activity. 

Infact, all a human being is a sum total of habits. That is by design because at anytime the Conscious Mind can process only 15 bits out of 15 million bits information available at any moment. Therefore, the Conscious Mind automates its reactions based on historical data. So, it really is our past creating our future because we keep reacting based on what happened in the past. Same reactions give the same results and then we wonder, why does the same thing keep happening to us.

Well, then, an addiction is really a habit - you are doing something repeatedly without giving any conscious thought to it. Some habits serve us to grow, while some habits limit our growth. It is then important to constantly review our habits to assess what habits are limiting us which we can plan to let go, which habits are supporting our growth, which Growth Habits we don't have which we can assimilate in our Being. Of course, it is easier said than done though understanding the underlying principles will help us make those tiny shifts on a daily basis.

Before we dive in further, it is important to recognize that our Being has 4 Bodies, just like a car has 4 wheels. Even if one wheel has less air, the car will not move forward with the velocity that it can. If the destination that the Being wants to reach in its life-time is to lets its Light shine and live in the expression of the Genius it is born to be - then all its 4 bodies have to be nourished for its highest growth. The 4 bodies are - Intellectual / Mental, Emotional, Physical and Spiritual.

Let me first define spirituality because that word is the world's most misunderstood. Spirituality means walking on the path to reach one's highest self and nothing else. Religion has three components - customs, rituals & traditions; stories & symbols; spirituality. Unfortunately, the third component is completely forgotten which actually is the real purpose of a religion in the first place. All of us get immersed or overwhelmed by the first two. Let me also define what is one's highest self - it is your commitment of being the greatest that you can dream of yourself being.

Each of these 4 bodies have habits which could either be a Limiting Habit or a Growth Habit. Limiting Habit limits us, has us live a small life. Growth Habits move us forward with velocity to the realization of our greatest dreams in deepest communion with our highest self. Since winning a gold medal is tough as it should be, otherwise what is the value of winning it; we assimilate Limiting Habits at breakneck speed and Growth Habit require all our will-power to hold on to it. That is the law of Nature. Gold becomes gold only after going through fire. Diamonds are made from rocks after a rigorous process of crushing, milling, separating diamond from the ore to form rough diamonds, cutting, shaping, polishing and much more. Each one of us is born a rock and it is our purpose of life to become the diamond that we really are through a rigorous process of working on all our 4 bodies, transforming each one of them by becoming conscious and aware of our Limiting Habits, letting them go and assimilating Growth Habits.

There are 5 steps in this process using our Intellectual Body:
1. Review & Reflection: In this step, we make a list of all our intellectual / mental, physical, emotional and spiritual habits; segregating them as Limiting or Growth with a priority rating. We then pick up the top Limiting Habit to let go. Remember, 
Intention = Desire + Commitment
You need to have an intention, not just a desire to let go. Otherwise, the game will stop right here.
2. Logging: Maintaining a log helps us understand the triggers behind that habit and it also brings awareness to what was an unconscious act. In the log, have columns for - date, time, place, emotional state, physical state, mental state, people who were around, action preceding the habit, Won / Lost. Next time, you find yourself being pulled into your habitual act - stop, first log in the information and then if you cannot stop yourself, continue with your habit. If you were successful in not giving into the temptation, you mark Won in the last column otherwise you mark Lost.
3. Reward System: Make a list of all the positive things that you love to do. If you had one win, what would you reward yourself with; if you had two consecutive wins, what would be your reward; if you had three consecutive wins, what would be your reward and so on. 
4. Accountability Group: Create your mastermind group of people on the path towards their highest self, committed to realizing their dreams as much as you are. Publish to the group your intention to let go of your Limiting Habit by a specific date and the Reward System. Keep sharing your daily wins / losses with your group on a daily basis. You could also have your Coach to hold the space for you.
5. Play the Game: This is a game. Play and have fun. If you win, that's wonderful. If you lose, you get back to the playground and start again. Winning is a result of continuing to play, whether you win or lose. Losing is to walk out of the game because you couldn't deal with the losses.

The above process of letting go uses the Intellectual Body. Sometimes, the habit is so deep-rooted that deep inner work is needed on the Emotional Body. The best approach is to integrate and work on all the 4 bodies to let go of Limiting Habits and assimilate Growth Habits. This gives long-term sustainable outcomes that also give you breakthrough performance & productivity in all areas of your life. If you play to let go of your Limiting Habits and assimilate Growth Habits; you will actually experience feeling younger as you age. 

Keep playing, keep creating to realize your greatest dreams in deepest communion with your highest self and have it all - deeply fulfilling successful career, joyful relationships, happy responsible kids, lots of nourishing me-time while making a huge difference to the world in the expression of your Genius.

Love,
Jyoti.

 
The first thing is to recognize that we are never ever angry with anyone else but with our own selves. Sure, we vomit on the people around us in the mistaken belief that they are at the source of our anger. Now, it takes a very high level of self-awareness to be able to recognize this fine distinction. And, without this self-awareness, there is no freedom.

Before, we even deep dive and explore further; lets first inquire into why is there any need to let go of anger. Why can't we be angry and live with it? What's wrong with that?

There's nothing wrong with it, just that it results in us being ineffective. If we are okay with our 100% intentions not being fulfilled with velocity; sure, it doesn't matter. Work on letting go of your anger only if you want to live with an expression of your Genius in every area of your life. That can only happen if instead of reacting with anger, you respond with something that soothes you and the people around you.

How does anger arise? Something happens in the world around us, the mental / intellectual body observes it and takes a view (a thought) which limits us. Our ancient ancestor who danced fearlessly when a lion approached obviously didn't survive. The ancestor who was stirred up with fear and ran for cover survived. Therefore, through survival of our fearful ancestors, our brain has become hardwired with fear. That is its default design. If you are a human, you are like that unless you have taken moment by moment action to cause a massive shift in your consciousness to retrain your brain and repurpose your mind.

So, something happens that is not in sync with what we want. The mental body, sourced in fear, responds with a point of view (a thought) that limits us. It would be a limiting view of ourselves - I am not good enough, I am all alone, I am not important or a combination of these. Is this the truth? No way. But this is our fear-based authentic experience of our own selves, if we give ourselves the permission to peep under the carpet where past painful memories are hidden collected right from when we were born; or maybe even before that; right up to now. The trigger is so fast that we are not able to break-up the reaction into a set of steps which keep repeating themselves like an unconscious pattern, limiting us from experiencing our own Light. 

The mental body pulls up a thought (sourced in fear) in order to protect the physical body from extinction. The emotional body reacts to this stimuli with a painful emotion, which negatively impacts the physical body and physical pain begins to show up in different parts of our body as dis-ease. We rush to the doctor, who gets busy in repairing the physical body. That is as funny and meaningless as ironing your shirt because you have a headache. The excess fat and stiffness in the body, pain in the back and whatever else afflicts the physical body can only be healed fully if you go down to the real source in the mental and emotional body, taking support from the spiritual body. Should you stop going to the doctor? Ofcourse not, atleast not till the time you access your own power and wisdom to heal naturally.

So, what needs to happen? First, recognizing that our anger is a not a function of others but a function of who we are and where we are on our evolutionary journey towards our highest self. Second, take responsibility and look in the mirror to uncover our blind spots to get a direction to work on. If you look deeply into your own eyes for long enough, you will get all the guidance you want. Third, take action to exercise all our four bodies - mental / intellectual, emotional, physical and spiritual. Fourth, identify limiting mental, emotional, physical and spiritual habits that are holding us down. Fifth, shift each limiting habit and break free to fly high in the vast open sky of your Genius. And, that is your purpose this lifetime.

It takes real leadership to take this path.
​
Love,
Jyoti.