Jyoti Gulati
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CEO Coach
Founder
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Centre for Transformational Leadership™
2. Centre for Entrepreneurial Excellence™
3. Centre for Personal Excellence™
4. Mums At Work™
5. Centre for Coaching Excellence™

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A Journey called Life

23/10/2023

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​Coming back after a golf game of 18 yesterday. Best Friends again after 23 years, a joy hard-earned.

We went through a roller-coaster of a life together. He lost his hair. I turned grey.

Best friends again because he is no longer critical and I am no longer sensitive; thanks to our own individual inner journeys of coming home to our own self that our hole in the soul is no longer expected to be filled up by the other. 

I used to hate playing golf with him before. He was constantly back seat golfing me during our games. But, I loved our game yesterday. We were both encouraging and appreciative of each other’s game. He had invited me to join his boys group for golf, which he has never done before. I guess he hated playing with me before as much as I hated playing with him.

My sister asked me the other day - How is it going with Addy? The first words that came to me were - ease and grace. We had to go through our hell-hole to reach our paradise, which is even now being continuously constructed together.

I know I created that hell-hole because good was not good enough for me. I could have accepted As-Is and strolled through life comfortably. I created more Breakdowns because I challenged the Status-Quo in my relationship with Aditya, in my relationship with my parents, in my relationship with kids, in my relationship with my sisters, in the area of my health, in my Business - in search for Greatness which means Greater Fulfilment. 

I fell numerous times, flat on my face but every fall gave me clues on how to step-up to break through to the next level.

I am grateful that I can see how much more I have to grow. I am happy and grateful to be on a never-ending journey of Mastery. More I learn and contribute, more I realize my potential, greater the impact I become a channel of.

If the journey is exhausting me, I know it is because I have fallen back to Gear 0. So, I get up and climb up to higher states of consciousness through personal inner work supported by my coaches.

In Gear 0, FEAR is - Forget Everything and Run (usually by doing something that helps you escape experiencing the fear)

In Gear 1 and above - FEAR is Face Everything and Rise.

I am deeply grateful to my coaches who continue to hold Space for me to keep joyously walking on my endless, deeply fulfilling journey from good to great. 

Keep walking, one step at a time, to joyously lead yourself and your business from good to great, realize your dreams and have it all with ease and grace; experiencing beauty, balance and harmony within and all around you; while having lots of fun and adventure along the way 💜

Love and Light,
j.​
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What to do when You have had a Rough Day?

20/10/2020

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Welcome rough days, look forward to rough days because you learn, grow and evolve massively on your rough days, if you follow the process of digging for diamonds. Growth diamonds are not available on good days. Another word for Growth Diamonds are Blind Spots, something about ourselves that impede our progress and cause us to have rough days and yet, we cannot see them. Growth is really moving from discovering one blind spot to another and it is a life-long journey. The moment we arrive at a place where we feel we have become the greatest version of ourselves and that there are no more blind spots to be discovered, that is the day we die spiritually, emotionally and mentally; though, physically we may continue to live for a very long time afterwards.

Beyond the basic necessities of life - roti, kapda aur makaan (food, clothes and shelter) - we humans crave to make a difference because that is our access to our Space of Grace where we experience unconditional happiness, happiness without a cause or a reason; happiness that is no longer because of someone or something. It just courses through our body on its own, leaving us feeling rejuvenated, refreshed, full of joyous vitality and energy. Instead of getting pulled into the chaos outside, we pull people into the peace within us and have people be soothed, settled and be at ease with themselves and with the process of life in our space. That is the moment that we have truly arrived.

It is our rough days that gives us the access to our blind spots; discovery of which supports us to make a bigger difference through our work and leads us forward with velocity towards our Space of Grace. So, receive your rough days with joyous gratitude as the gift of the Universe, which always has your back. If you don't feel that the Universe has your back, that is your first discovery of a blind spot.

There is a process to follow to go on a journey to dig for growth diamonds / blind spots and here it is for you:

1. The first step is to acknowledge to yourself that you have had a rough day and step into the commitment to dig for growth diamonds. For us to have the inner strength to do this on the rough days, we need a daily practise of Review and Reflection at the end of the day. With this daily practice, when the rough days arrive (which they surely will) our muscle memory will kick in for us to do the Review and Reflection. Without Review and Reflection, all our diamonds go underground and are not available the next day. 

2. The next step is to journal or have a conversation with your coach. If you are journaling, answer the below questions as you have a conversation with yourself:

i. What am I feeling? - Identify a specific feeling, instead of just saying good or bad. High performers usually are not in touch with their emotions, which is what becomes the barrier for their further growth. If you struggle to identify the emotion, check out the range of 22 emotions on slide 24 in this presentation - Power to Create™. The moment you are able to exactly identify the emotion and allow yourself to fully feel it, you will feel release of tension from your body. 

ii. What am I thinking that is making me feel this way? - All stress, tension and limiting emotions that leave us not feeling good are an outcome of limiting thoughts that we have about ourselves, about other people and and about life itself. Let's call this thought pattern - small mind.

We are, by default, hardwired with our special version of the 'small mind'. Some of us become victims of our circumstances, in response to the small mind; and end up becoming Low Performers. High Performers become fighters in response to their small mind, fight with themselves to hide the small mind from their own self, fight the world to get what they want at a huge personal cost and end-up with lots of success but feeling like an imposter (Imposter Syndrome). All the success and money they worked hard for does not fulfil them, there's an underlying unconscious tension in the body all the time and the heart feels empty.

Yet, there's a 3rd way to be - acknowledge the small mind, learn to rewire our default survival / fear sourced small mind to step up to our Space of Grace. Let's call our Space of Grace - Big Mind. When we make this choice, we battle with our small mind on the inside instead of its reflections in the world outside. We become the Peaceful Warrior, the Super Performer. We are in the flow and step into our zone of genius.

iii. What sensations arise in my body on account of the feelings I have and the limiting thoughts that are cluttering my mind?

​This creates high level of self-awareness and a lesser probability of venting out our angst and frustration on people in our lives, at work and at home, and hurting them because of the rough time we have had.

iv. What's present in me, the absence of which would have made a difference?

v. What's absent in me, the presence of which would have made a difference?

vi. What do I now understand, which I hadn't understood before?

vii. What can I see now, which I hadn't seen before?

viii. What did I learn?

ix. What one action, however tiny, will I take as an outcome of this deep self-reflection?

x. What are my powerful questions which will lead me forward?

After doing this level of deep self-inquiry, you will find your power coming back, exhaustion melting and a resurge of energy to take on the world.

Without this process, there is a tendency of wanting to crawl into bed, stay there for long and call in sick. Don't do that. Also, don't do any other work till the time you clear your space through this reflective process.

3. This process of deep inquiry - self-driven or with your coach - will reveal growth diamonds / blind spots. The interesting thing about blind spots is that the moment they come in awareness, the work to go beyond begins. With the discovery of a blind spot, you have progressed from unconscious incompetence in that area to conscious incompetence. You can now create a structure of success to step up to conscious competence. Practise long enough and unconscious competence is not far away.

Therefore, the 3rd step is to identify your blind spot through the process of deep-dive reflection and put a structure of success in place to step up from conscious incompetence to conscious competence to unconscious competence (mastery). 

If you have a coach, then your coach becomes your accountability partner, else find a committed listener who can be your accountability buddy. Without someone showing you the mirror, progress is not really possible and the whole exercise remains intellectual; instead of visceral. Only a visceral, in-body, emotional experience can result in a real transformational shift on the inside because intelligence may be in the mind but wisdom is in the body. Your mind may have thoughts but your body feels the intuition and your emotions, which are more competent guides to your true north pole than your thoughts.

Wishing you the joyous experience of ongoing growth towards your greatest self.

Love,
Jyoti.
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Why Disconnecting from Work is Critical for your Productivity?

15/10/2020

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I have been a workaholic. When I wasn't so self-aware, I used to believe with pride it was because of my impeccable work ethics, high level of commitment to my work and passion for what I am doing. After enormous inner work, I came face to face with an ugly truth that I was a workaholic because of instant gratification that I receive at work for completing a task, because of a sense of achievement I feel at ticking off an item from my checklist. The real truth was that I was nicely enmeshed in the Activity Trap without even being aware of it. The real truth was also that it is emotionally easier to be working than to be dealing with emotionally difficult issues at home, it is easier to work on a task than dealing with relationships and one's own limiting habits which come in the way of personal mastery. So, I had worked myself to burn-out much before I was 40 that hopped off the corporate bandwagon on an entrepreneurial journey in search of a profitable, repeatable, scalable Business Model. That search forced me to go on an inner journey of self-discovery and growth because whether we like it or not, our businesses end up becoming a mirror of who we are as human beings. That is why, an entrepreneur is on a Hero's journey in search of greatness outside and inside. Without connecting to the Light within, a great business will not get built.

I learnt massively in my journey as an entrepreneur in the last 10 years. Here are some of the learnings regarding getting work done more efficiently:

1. Work less hours to produce more value and impact: I am more productive, creative, effective and efficient if I work for 6 hours with focus, instead of 12 hours. If I am working for 6 hours, I can write an article in 2 hours; while if I have a 12 hour schedule, I end up creating a similar article with lesser impact in 6 hours. And, if I have spent 5 minutes drawing out the outline of the article during planning stage, I get done much earlier. This seems to show up irrespective of the nature of work - meetings get wrapped up faster with quicker and more creative solutioning, problem solving is quicker, lesser mistakes while creating any artefacts.

I interviewed Andrew Barnes, Founder and Managing Director, Perpetual Guardian, New Zealand because I was curious about the 4-day work week he had implemented in his company. In February 2018, Barnes announced that Perpetual Guardian would be doing a trial of four-day work week, with staff receiving an extra day off work, on full pay, each week. Staff were not required to work additional hours on their four working days. In July 2018, at the completion of the trial, the trial had been a resounding success with productivity up 20%, staff stress levels down, customer engagement levels up more than 30%, revenue remaining stable and costs decreasing, therefore resulting in increased profitability. Staff engagement and work-life balance also improved. 

Productivity graph between productivity on the y-axis and number of working hours on the x-axis is an A curve. You will increase your productivity by increasing your number of hours in the beginning; but after a point (lets, call that point - Point of Zero Returns), productivity, efficiency, effectiveness and creativity falls sharply. 
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For me, the Point of Zero Returns is around 6 hours. So, I work from 6 am to 1:30 pm with 2 half an hour breaks in the middle. 

Pioneering researcher Nathan Kleitman discovered that our bodies operate in 90 minutes rhythm (Ultradian Rhythm) not only during the night but also during the day when we move from higher alertness to lower alertness.

In his renowned 1993 study of young violinists, performance researcher Anders Ericsson found that the best ones all practiced the same way: in the morning, in three increments of no more than 90 minutes each, with a break between each one. Ericsson discovered the same pattern among other musicians, athletes, chess players and writers.

You could experiment to find your Point of Zero Returns and scheduling your day in slots of 90 minutes interspersed with breaks.

2. The Anti-Routine: In conversations with most CEOs, I am almost hit by a palpable energy of stress and tension, even over a Zoom call, that they are vibrating with. Unfortunately, most times, they are not even conscious of this anxiety in the background present at every moment. This background continual hum of anxiety is a huge drain on creativity, effectiveness, efficiency and productivity. Since they all are High Performers, they are able to deliver massive results even with this huge drain on their system but it comes at a tremendous personal cost. I continually hear the desire to retire to give back to society, to contribute, to leave a legacy. I am left with a deep sense of loss because their highest contribution would be by staying on in the job much beyond retirement and lead their businesses from good to great. Their real legacy is the transformation they can be at the source of in the world through their businesses; transforming what it means to do business, what it means to lead and work, and inside of that what it means to be a human being. This can only happen with an inner shift form being a Fighter High Performer to a Peaceful Warrior Super Performer. And, one of the first things to let go is unsustainable long working hours to create time for what I call The Anti-Routine.

The Routine is the work schedule. The Anti-Routine is the play schedule reserved for family fun time, nourishing nurturing self through exercising, meditating and various other growth habits,  playing a sport, learning a creative art and the one that usually gets missed - learning continually about self in search of blind spots.

Einstein credits his breakthrough scientific discoveries to his playing the violin. I can relate to what he is saying because all my major business breakthroughs haven't come when I was working. They all came when I was either meditating, playing golf, learning piano, exercising or on a vacation. It's only when we step outside the painting of our business can we turn around to see the full picture and discover which colours and lines need to be added or deleted to make our business our masterpiece work of art.

All human beings have a masculine (courage, strength, independence, assertiveness, driven to win) and a feminine (empathy, intuition, vulnerability, caring, nurturing) element. It's by bringing the two in balance inside of us do we rise up to our greatest self and become a great leader. Sports is a great way to strengthen the masculine element in us; while learning and investing in a creative art (painting, singing, learning a musical instrument, dancing etc.) strengthens our feminine element.

Discovering our blind spots is the piece of the Anti-Routine which mostly gets missed, and yet is the foundation on which everything else rests. A leader who knows it all, has answers to all questions, solutions to all problems and is already the greatest version of himself / herself is a leader who is not going to lead the business too far. Having a structure to continually look inside to discover places one doesn't want to go to and see things one doesn't want to see is ultimately what will lead us and our businesses from good to great.

3. The Perfectionist Trap: We all know the Pareto's principle and yet most of us don't apply it to reduce our work and increase our output. It has been statistically proven that 20% of the work we do gives us 80% output. and we spend 80% of the remaining time on finishing the remaining 20% work. I have personally experienced the Power of Pareto not only in my own work but also as I coached my clients to implement it in their own work. 

Chase excellence, not perfection. Excellence is for the God inside of us, Perfection is for the fickle applause from the outside. At 80% output, assess if it is worthwhile to complete the remaining 20%. If you are reviewing product development, ensure your team co-creates with the customer instead of inside your Ivory Tower office. Such a co-creation will support you to stop at 80%. If you are reviewing sales, check if your sales team knows who their top 20% customers are. Figure out which 20% reviews will give you 80% leverage, mentoring which 20% stars will give you 80% growth, focussing on which 20% objectives will give you 80% velocity in your business. If you are chasing everything and everyone, nothing much may get created.

​4. Intention Creation: I also discovered that articulating my 5-Years Intentions helps me to have clarity on the wins to be created in the first year, first quarter, current month, current week and the next day. Writing my intentions in the night for the next day work schedule gives me more horsepower to deliver on them with precision.

5. The Tough Nut: Looking at my task list for the next day as I sit down at the end of day to review and reflect on the day gone by and to create the next day, I use a simple method, which most of us know, and divide the list into 4 categories - 
A - Important, Urgent
B - Important, Not Urgent as yet
C - Not Important, Urgent  
D - Neither Important, Nor Urgent

I delegate C and cross out D from my list. I prioritize A and schedule it first thing in the morning, followed by B, which are my tough nuts to crack, before I open the doors to the rest of the world. If one is not being aware, what ends up happening is that we do C and D to get instant gratification and a sense of achievement in the first half of the day and push B so much down in the day that it gets missed out and becomes A the next day, leaving us forever in a firefight mode.

The above 5 may support you to get done faster and more efficiently through your work schedule. Yet , you may not be able to fully disconnect from work when you are not at work because you find yourself thinking about work when not at work. Then, even if you creatively force yourself to work less number of hours, you are still caught because your mind continues to stay at work though you have physically moved out. Here's How to Disconnect from Work when not Working:

1. First of all, make a commitment to stay in the present moment. This is a powerful first step because that brings you into awareness when you are not and acts as a positive force to shake you back into the present.
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2. Second, practise Aana Paana meditation, the meditation technique Buddha taught for mind control. In this technique, you focus your attention on the triangular region of your nose and upper lip and observe your breath as it goes in and as it goes out. Practise with eyes closed daily and then begin practising it open-eyed so that even while you are listening to someone, you are present to your breath coming in and going out. This stops the chattering monkey called the mind from running in thousand different directions and gets engaged in the game of observing the breath. As the mind becomes still observing the breath, we experience being centred,  grounded and present.

3. Have a solid Anti-Routine to immerse your body, mind, heart and soul - a hobby and a sport that you are in love with, along with an intense workout regime. The fact is that we are have far greater ability, expertise and wisdom to contribute, make a difference and live our purpose through our work at 50 than at 40, at 60 than at 50, at 70 than at 60, at 80 than at 70. Therefore, it is our responsibility towards ourselves and more importantly, towards the communities that we are a part of, to ensure that we have Olympic athlete fitness levels because only when we are at the highest level of health, fitness and well-being can we truly contribute, make a difference and live our purpose this lifetime through the work we do.

Retirement is an archaic concept which has no role to play in today's day and age. We are meant to have fun; live with passion, purpose and impact; and make a dent in the Universe through our work that we love,  till the last breath of our life, whenever it may come.

4. Include an intense spiritual, emotional and mental work-out in your Anti-Routine to continuously be shown the mirror to your blind spots so that you remain agile not only physically but also spiritually, emotionally and mentally till the day it is time for you to transition to the next phase of your existence. Like one of my favourite wise people, Dr Wayne Dyer, said - We are not human beings in search of a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings immersed in a human experience. Leading a business from good to great can only happen inside of understanding this truth, as Sara Blakely, the youngest self-made woman billionaire at 41 years of age, found. She credits her business success to listening to Wayne Dyer and applying his principles from the age of 16 years. 

5. Immerse yourself in reading books and listening to podcasts by masters in business for Business Excellence, in your domain for Craft Mastery and in the mystery of life for Leadership Depth during your Anti-Routine. This is a powerful way to ensure your mind is not idle, which is when it will have a tendency to brood and ruminate over and over again about work; not allowing you peace of mind even when you have physically disconnected from work. Not only will you find greater inner peace but also learn, grow and evolve with velocity. Warren Buffett, who is world's 4th richest man in the world reads 80% of the time. Bill Gates, who is world's 2nd richest man, reads one book a week.

Wishing you the joy of the journey.

Love,
Jyoti.
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What is Wealth for You?

12/8/2019

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Why is it important to be aware of what Wealth really means for us? Because without that understanding, we will end up hoarding the wrong currency and never experience abundance inspite of having all the wealth in the world.

Sharing what Wealth means for me to support you to go on a voyage of deeper self-inquiry to discover your own truth and find a simple path to freedom, abundance and prosperity.

Wealth for me is:

1. Time Freedom - which is the ability to own my own time. That is why inspite of all the wealth and titles in the corporate structure, I did not feel abundant.

2. Ability to live my purpose through the work I do -  So, I hung up my corporate boots, 9 years ago, to walk towards an unknown future seeking not only Time Freedom; but also greater meaning, purpose and impact through my work.

3. Time carved out daily for physical, mental / intellectual, emotional, spiritual growth and development - If I don’t prioritise and take out time for this, I feel poorer by the end of the day.

4. Eating, playing and praying together as a family

5. Being engaged and involved with my parents’ lives - The time, financial and situation freedom to visit my parents, who live 5.5 hours away, for a day once-a-week makes me feel prosperous.

6. Challenging myself, physically, intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, and go beyond - Playing for black belt though I am as yet, at 45, only yellow belt in Karate has me jumping out of bed with excitement and a sense of a beautiful adventure. Playing to be a scratch player in golf though my current on-board handicap is 38 may sound like pollyanna optimism or plain Jane wishful thinking but choosing to invest in professional coaching with the country’s best coach, practising and playing makes me feel free and abundant. Inside of that experience of freedom and abundance, I witness high levels of productivity, performance and effectiveness at work and in all other areas of my life.

7. Building my will-power to wake up at dawn daily and be consistent with my morning personal practise - This has been a 30 year dream and I am finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel on this dream.

See, dreams always come true. The question is - Are you willing to hang in with it for 30, 40, 50 years? Let only the God of Death separate you from your Dream, not the Jester that is the Mind.


8. Have joyous, authentic, emotionally uplifting, intellectually stimulating conversations - I have realised over the years that interesting conversations have more to do with me being interested in others than others being interesting.

9. Doing work that raises human consciousness, one person at a time - That is why I am so deeply in love with what I do (coaching) that it doesn’t feel like work. So, everyday is one big fun holiday for me. It can be for you too. Ask me and I will tell you how.

10. Read and write - I have integrated all that I love with my work. So daily reading the great masters of my field and writing an article or writing for my upcoming book is part of my Daily Top 5.

11. Going on vacations with the whole big extended family along with kids, spouse, parents, sisters and their families - This year all of us went on a cruise together. It took me 18 years to create this big bang vacation. Though 2 family members were missing on account of work commitments, I still feel the joy of having achieved a dream at 85%.

My next 2 plans are Kanatal (Uttarakhand) in November and Amritsar (Punjab) in March next year. By the way, I have learnt more about leadership and coaching, trying to get the whole family together on a vacation than all the classroom training I have attended :-)


12. Listening to music - This is such an easy win, though just realising that in working on the big ones on this list, I seem to have missed in creating one of the easiest. That is how most of us live life. We get so busy in chasing the big ones that the ones which we can catch with very little effort gets missed out.

13. Re-connecting with my heritage through learning to speak, read and write Punjabi (my mother tongue) and Hindi (our national language) fluently - Last month, I spent 3 weeks in Panchkula (twin city to Chandigarh, capital of Punjab and Haryana) where my parents stay. I usually make one day weekly pilgrimage there to check in on my aging parents and to do chores for them. I am usually so busy caught up in their lives that I don’t get to interact with anyone else. Or, we take vacations together that I hardly find myself really settling in there and experiencing the Punjabiyat of my heritage.

This time, my father had a surgery and I took off 3 weeks to be with him that gave me a chance to really polish my Punjabi. I experienced a strange sense of joy, a wonderful expansiveness, a delicious home-coming. We always spoke Hindi at home and as we grew up, God alone knows when, that suddenly we were speaking, thinking and dreaming in English.

I had a sudden rude awakening last year when I saw my kids struggling with Hindi. They were breezing through English exams but Hindi exams had them sweat. At that moment, I realised that I was stunting their growth as well as mine by weakening their and my roots; by alienating ourselves from our heritage, our languages, the very cradle of our creativity. Who we are would not grow tall in the world, live up to our highest potential if our roots weren’t strong enough; and our roots are Punjabi and Hindi. It’s great to know English. There’s a deep gratitude for the English language as it has been a window to the outside world for all of us in India. Though, while looking outside the window, we have forgotten to water our own roots. Then, how can we expect to fully flower and blossom to the highest that we are meant to be.

I cannot even come close to defining this strange joy I felt, a deep connection even with strangers as I conversed with them in my birth language. There was a melody and a sweet tinkling of gentle bells in and around me as I spoke and heard Punjabi with the hospital staff, our relatives, Dad’s friends; and my heart expanded with love for all beings.

I have always found that as we increase our connection with our own selves, our connection with all of Life expands. Can anything be more magical than that?

14. Giving back to the communities that I have the good fortune to be a part of - The big extended family that I come from, the village, state and the country I belong to, the religion that I am born into, the universal sisterhood of women that I am a part of, the condominium that I stay in, the schools and colleges I went to, the people I have worked with and those I work with, the various groups that I have joined for different reasons are all communities that I am a part of. Each of the communities have contributed to my growth and defined who I am. The only access for my ongoing growth is to give back to each of these communities for the cycle of energy, growth and evolution to be maintained.

So, though I buried myself behind books and kept myself isolated by my self-created walls during both my graduate and post-graduate schools for reasons that are part of another story, I felt the need to re-connect and contribute on my journey to complete parts of me which I had left behind in my past. This consciousness has me reach back to both the communities in an effort to reconnect with myself. 


15. Playing sports - I grew up playing table tennis, lawn tennis, badminton, cricket, football, squash, pittoo (does anyone remember that game anymore), hopscotch, hide n seek, gallery and many more that I have smiling memories of. As I lost myself in the hubbub of Life (which really means I grew up), sports slowly vanished without me realising it. And, then golf happened that my love affair with sports started all over again and the wild excitement of being alive surged through my body once more, healing the wounds caused by the blows of Life.

Let me tell you a secret. Anything I love becomes a part of my Business Model, Parenting Model and Personal Growth Model. So, I play golf for work, play more golf along with kids and spouse as part of our family fun time and play even more to challenge myself to grow beyond what seems possible. You may want to try this tactic.

16. Become a person that I would like to give a thumbs up to when my physical body breathes its last and say - Life well lived, mate. Continue forth with your next adventure.

I am at different stages of collecting the above wealth; though the journey itself feels like as if I have found my way back home. Having defined what abundance really means has me experience freedom and prosperity like I have never experienced before; though I have a lot less cash at the moment than I have had at other points in my life.

The simplest way to discover what wealth, abundance, prosperity mean for you is to answer this question - If you had all the wealth in the world, what would you be doing that would have you be happy and at peace?

​Make your list today and start your own journey towards fun, freedom and fulfilment.


I have found abundance in the way my Being understands it. May you find yours.

Love, Jyoti.
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VG Sidhhartha’s Suicide - A Wake-up Call?

2/8/2019

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Photo Credit: www.thehansindia.com

A son of a coffee planter to a Billionaire Founder and Owner of India’s biggest coffee chain, Cafe Coffee Day, committed suicide earlier this week. His tragic end is a huge wake-up call for the Global Business Community and has learnings for all of us that we must pause to reflect and ruminate upon. And, hopefully, this helpless act of a powerful business magnate will trigger a transformation in the way we work and who we are as human beings.

1. His death is a reminder that a Business Model is not only made robust, profitable and sustainable by the business elements that define it; but also by the human depth of the founder and the leadership team, displayed by the fitness levels of their physical, emotional, mental and spiritual bodies.

A business model’s effectiveness needs to be measured not only by the outer business elements, but also by the inner human elements of the people engaged in that business.

We mostly get carried away by what is visible - number of outlets, number of employees, turnover, number of cities, national vs global presence etc. - that we miss the foundation on which all of this is standing.

The foundation is the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual health of the person at the helm of the business, who is leading from the front. The business really ends up being a mirror of who she or he really is, what his / her personal, leadership and business habits are.

2. In the light of the above point, it is important that the leadership team at the helm including the CEO / Founder / Business Owner have a mentoring / coaching structure so that they are building themselves to be the world’s best physical, emotional, mental and spiritual athletes; without which a great business cannot be built.

3. The reason that the leaders don’t create a support structure for themselves is because as a society we tend to idolise those who have created ‘success’. So, the idols fail to realise that they too need to continuously learn, grow and evolve with the support of others.

Sooner, as a society, we realise, encourage and walk towards a relationship of equals between all, irrespective of all labels; the sooner will we all experience freedom to be and less pressure for all to put up a brave face to hide a sad reality within.

4. Don’t replace ‘building a sustainable business’ with ‘raising money’. Let the money in the business ecosystem be because the customers are crazy about your product / service, not your investors.

5. Just as highest levels of fitness across the 4 bodies of the Being of the Founder / CEO is the real foundation of the business model, so is Integrity. Without integrity, the business will fall sooner or later. Sooner is better because then there is less damage. Though unfortunately, mostly it is later where both direct and collateral damage is massive.

6. Create, own and enjoy wealth but don’t be owned by it. At the end of it all, you can take none of it with you. If you can’t take it with you, then all you really are is the custodian of all the wealth that you create.

So, why be perturbed when you have less of it or somebody takes it away from you or become jubilant when you have more of it. It is this emotional instability that causes so much of the stress and heartburn we have.

Yes, it is a lot of hard work to reach that balance. Yet, the struggle to reach there is totally worth it allowing you to experience ‘happiness without a cause or reason’, which is when happiness can truly be yours.

7. We are part of an energy system and every action we take has an impact. We cannot act as if what we do only has an impact on us. Imagine what Siddhartha’s 2 sons, one in college and the other as yet in school) and his wife must be going through.

Of course, the net worth of Cafe Coffee Day fell. Probably worse than the fall of the net worth, which is easier to re-build, is the widespread discouragement and disillusionment experienced by his employees and aspiring entrepreneurs.

8. You don’t need fancy foreign degrees to build big business. A local school and college is just as good. All that matters is the size of your dream.

9. One really doesn’t know what anyone around us is really going through on the inside. Choosing to act and speak from a place of loving kindness is probably the biggest difference we can make to people in our lives, known and unknown.

10.  Being a Fighter is exhausting. What would serve us is embracing the way of the Peaceful Warrior, who knows that the real battles are really on the inside and, therefore, all battles on the outside are merely reflections of the chaos inside.

You can’t kill the reflections by shooting them. Shooting the attachment and being ok with owning nothing after building an empire ground up may be a lesson one is meant to learn and having learnt that, it is likely that no pressure on the outside can cause the balance to disrupt on the inside.

That is what stress really is - disruption of the inner emotional balance.

11. What has spirituality got to do with all of this? Everything because a spiritual perspective gives us a higher meaning and purpose to all that we do from moment to moment. It strengthens in us childlike trust and faith, giving us the ability to see the gift in all challenges along the journey of life and to receive them gratefully.

Loved the story of a doctor that I read in Mother Teresa’s Biography sometime back. His pregnant wife and unborn child were battling death. On being asked what he was praying for; he replied he was praying for the strength and faith to accept God’s will, whatever that maybe. This spiritual perspective is the only way to access emotional balance, which is necessary to create anything masterful, genius-level and extraordinary on a sustainable basis.

Siddhartha’s soul will rest in peace if we can learn and live the above lessons from his life and death because then, how he lived and how he died would not be in vain.

Love, Jyoti.
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Pearls of Wisdom

26/7/2019

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My 74 years old mother always has interesting stories to share that I love listening to, even at 45 :-) I listen to them with greater fascination and enthusiasm as I am growing older. There’s always a hidden gold nugget for me to take away, a truth beautifully wrapped in an engaging story presented in a whole new way that it sticks even more deeply than ever before. Here’s a recent story she told me that still has me smiling.

A king cut his finger and shared his plight with his wise minister, who responded by saying - “That’s good.” The king was furious and threw his minister in the jail. The minister smiled a knowing smile at his predicament and said - “That’s good.”

The next day, the king went for a hunt in the nearby jungle. He got captured by a tribe looking for a human sacrifice to appease the Gods. When their priest was getting him ready for the sacrifice, he saw his cut finger and turned towards the tribal leaders to tell them that the captive was not fit for sacrifice as he was not whole and complete. The tribals let him go.

The king ran as fast as he could towards his palace. And, the first thing he did on reaching his palace was to release his wise minister from the jail. He summoned him to the court and told him - I now understand why cutting my finger was a good thing. But, what was the good in your going to the jail?

The minister smiled and replied - Oh, King. If I weren’t in the jail, I would have accompanied you to the jungle and would have got captured along with you. After letting you go because of your cut finger, they would have sacrificed me. Thank Goodness, I was in the jail because of which I am still alive.

I smile as I look back in life at every situation that felt like the worst possible circumstance to be in. It always turned out in a way that changed the direction of my life towards something better, bigger, brighter. Whether it was a job that I didn’t get or professional growth that didn’t come at a satisfactory pace or a relationship that didn’t work or sickness or the struggle of building my business or NOs to my numerous requests / ideas / proposals. Each situation that I have resisted and fought hard against turned out to be a gift that I only saw when I gave up the struggle after getting tired of fighting and banging my head against a wall.

I had an opportunity to sit with my 75 years old dad and his equally young friend for a day and a half at the hospital waiting for a battery of tests that Dad had to undergo. In our culture, parents’ friends are like your own uncles and aunts. And, Kharbanda Uncle had us, at the same time, laughing and in deep awe of the insights that we discovered in his stories. He kept Dad and me in great cheerful and positive energy inspite of the fact that we had recently discovered that Dad has a large tumour ticking away like a time-bomb in his brain.

Will share two insights from the many that I took away from those conversations. He spoke about the concept of “akaaran khushi” which translates to “Happiness without a reason”. He said that as long as our happiness is for a reason, then it is not true and will not sustain. Real happiness is from deep inside and is for no reason. Our purpose as humans is to learn to evolve from being happy for a reason to being happy for no reason.

The second insight was that our physical tiredness begins the moment we allow dislike for what we are doing enter our mind. Liking or disliking what we are doing or what we have in our circumstance is our choice. The moment we allow our mind to embrace what there is; tiredness, exhaustion, stress and hence dis-ease leaves us.

Within 10 days of discovering Dad had a brain tumour, my sisters and I found ourselves outside the operation theatre. Fortunately for us, our mother has taught us to trust Nature and the process of Life. And, to make the choice to be happy and grateful, trusting the goodness in everything that comes our way. She had another story for us to remind us of her teaching.

One set of parents came crying to the doctor - “Save our only son. Doctor, save our only child.” The wise Doctor pronounced that the son would take a long time to heal. The second set of parents, their emotional energy centred and peaceful, came to the doctor and said - “Our son is not well. Please heal him.” The Doctor responded - “Your child will heal fast.”

That reminded me of a real story I had read of 2 cancer patients with the same prognosis, on the same treatment protocol, in the same hospital, at the same stage of disease. Though there was a big difference in their Being. I don’t use the word attitude because it is skin-deep. Attitude comes from who you are as a Human Being. You may practise to have the right attitude but it doesn’t shift a thing till it doesn’t come from deep inside you, from your very Being of the Human that you are. So, the story goes, the first lady was sad, angry and upset with her cancer diagnosis while the second lady was happy and cheerful inspite of her cancer diagnosis. Few months later, the first one died because of cancer; and the second lady won the battle against cancer and survived.

So, my sisters and I spent the 7 hours, that Dad was inside getting his surgery done, in deep joyous conversations deepening our connection with each other even further after many years of being lost in the maze of life. The doctor who was conspicuous in hardly speaking a reassuring word to us or even smiling kindly at us to allay our fears before the surgery, came out smiling from the Operation Theatre and pronounced that the surgery was successful, they had been able to remove the entire tumour and that Dad was in a stable condition.

I have lot more stories to share. Let that be the material of my next conversation with you.

Love, gratitude and reverence for all of Life and that includes you,
Jyoti.

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How Being at the Highest Level of Fitness Gives You the Power to Lead your Business to Market Leadership?

10/3/2019

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To be at the highest level of fitness demands that you do so many things which are uncomfortable, difficult and out of your comfort zone. It needs you to push your body against the rebellion of your mind which is used to being comfortable and living an easy life. It is not so much your body that resists as much as it is your mind that comes in the way of your highest level of fitness.

When you day in day out follow a vigorous and rigorous fitness routine, wake up and force your body to work out when the mind would rather have you snuggle in for an extra snooze in the mornings, you snub the rebellious mind and break free from its tyrannical hold over you.

This daily ignoring of the cries of the mind and doing exactly what it rather not do teaches the mind to be agile and fit; besides letting it know that you are the boss.  For the mind to be fit, you have to identify and embrace every resistance it holds within its nooks and crannies by doing exactly what it resists. Then, look for all that the mind fears and embrace all your fears by doing exactly what the mind fears. That’s how you unleash the enormous power of the mind to increase your productivity, performance, creativity and innovativeness.

Only then leading your business beyond the dreary corridors of mediocrity to the freedom of masterful business excellence in the vast expanse of the open skies of your unlimited potential is available to you.

When you can conquer your mind by adhering to a fitness routine of a world-class athlete, then you release enormous energy and find yourself in the joyous experience of amazing levels of strength, stamina and health that you haven’t experienced before. People make the mistake of thinking they need to manage their time better. Actually, you need to manage your energy better. You may not be able to increase the number of hours available in a day but you can for sure increase the amount of energy that you have. Greater your energy, greater your effectiveness, efficiency, productivity and the blissful joy of living your purpose through your work.

And, it has nothing to do with age. At 45, I have more energy than I have ever had in all of my life. It is because I not only have a rigorous fitness training schedule comprising of yoga, martial arts and cross fitness training; I am also very mindful of what I put inside my body. What you eat and drink has as much impact on your energy levels as your exercise regimen.

My coach is 83 years old and is sharper than people much younger to him, so much so that he has me on my intellectual toes sweating my mental muscles during our sessions. My karate coach’s super coach is 73 years old and is still teaching students to reach the highest level of expertise in Karate, doing 100 continuous push-ups along with his students much younger to him during their sessions. My father at 72 has decided to learn golf and is sweating it out on the range.

The fat on your body or any lifestyle disease that you have picked up along the way is a sign of hidden potential waiting to be unleashed. It is a barrier to you living your greatest and most fulfilling life. It comes in the way of your productivity, performance, creativity and innovativeness at your work and in other important areas of your life; and stops you from leading your business from good to great. Sickness and poor health are the biggest time stealers. Rescue yourself from these time wasters by taking responsibility of your health and well-being; and doing whatever it takes to be at the highest level of fitness. You can only work on your emotional, intellectual and spiritual fitness if you have laid the foundation of physical fitness. Being fit at all the 4 bodies of your Being - physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual - is your access to your genius.

Don’t give in to your mind’s excuses for not jumping out of your bed to train yourself to be as fit as an Olympics level athlete. Your body has so much more capacity, ability and wisdom than what your mind credits it for.

Wishing you the euphoric joy of perfect health, fitness and well-being so that you make a massive contribution to the world through your work and as a result to yourself.

Love,
Jyoti.
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Who Are You?

23/2/2019

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So, the story goes that an old woman was very upset about the new way of life that the Prophet Muhammad was propagating that whenever he would pass her house, she would run up the stairs to throw garbage on him from her balcony. And, all he would do was shake his dress and walk on to the Mosque to pray. Morning and evening, he would pass her house and get greeted by garbage. He never changed his route. All he did was shake off the garbage from himself and move on. One day, no garbage fell on him. Overflowing with love and in deep concern, he walked into her house to check if she was well. So, to be a Muslim means to be pure love for all beings, irrespective of what others do to them.

Rama and Bharata are having an argument just outside a forest. What are they arguing about? Rama says the kingdom belongs to his brother, Bharata; and Bharata says the kingdom belongs to Rama and wants to go to the jungle for 14 years in place of Rama. But, Rama wants to support his father to be Integrity, to honour his Word and goes for the 14 years vanvaas / exile instead of laying claim to the throne. So, to be a Hindu means to be love, reverence and integrity.

Young Nanak's father sends him to the fields to shoo away the birds and prevent them from eating their crop. Even at such a young age, Guru Nanak is overflowing with love and instead of shooing away the birds welcomes them into his farm. The legend has it that that year, their farm had the maximum produce. So, to be a Sikh means to be love and generosity.

Jesus Christ has been brutally nailed to a cross. And, inspite of that pain, all he could think and say about his tormentors is - Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing. So, to be a Christian means to be love for all beings, inspite of the pain caused by others.

There were many Buddhas before Gautam, during his time and after him but they didn’t spend their time teaching others what they had learnt. But, Gautam, the Buddha spent his entire life, from age 35 when he attained enlightenment till he left his earthly body at 80 years, teaching people the meditation process that he used for attaining enlightenment, the process that India had lost and he had re-discovered, the meditation process of self-transformation through self-observation.

Gautam, The Buddha, is breathing his last under a tree and the crowd is milling all around him to be with him. One person pushes everybody aside and asks Gautam to teach him the meditation technique because he didn’t trust his disciples to teach him correctly. Even, on his deathbed, Buddha taught what he had discovered with so much love, without a care about the discomfort that his own physical body was in. So, to be a Buddhist, means to be love and to give away all the knowledge one has for the benefit of others.

So, if we are a true Muslim or a true Hindu or a true Sikh or a true Christian or a true Buddhist or are true to whatever other religion we belong to; we are humans destined to be love. We may choose to be Love this Lifetime or may take many Lifetimes to embrace the real essence of who we are. Everything that is happening in our Life - the best, the good, the not-so-good, the bad, the ugly - is pushing us in the direction of being our highest self, our highest idol who we revere and pray to. Praying is not about asking for what we want, praying is asking for the strength to be like the God that we pray to. We are made in the likeness of God and God is Love.

Being on the journey of transformation from our Evolutionary Fears to being Transcendent Love is the purpose of our Life. And, it is in living this purpose through the work we do, the businesses we run, the relationships that we belong to that we find our way and come home to ourselves.

May we all connect with our Light within and experience the homecoming.

Love, Jyoti.

Inspiration: Shri S N Goenka
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Book of the Week: How Not to Die (prematurely) by Dr Michael Greger

20/2/2019

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After hating cooking all of my life, 7 years ago, as a young mother, came face to face with my commitment to nourish and nurture my children to health and fitness through the food they eat. My commitment turned out to be stronger than my dislike of anything to do with the kitchen and I signed-up for an Ayurvedic Cooking Course (Health through Food) with Art of Living to learn what to do in the kitchen besides telling the cook what to make.

My commitment held me for 7 long years, which is the time it took me to travel from dislike to disinterest to curiosity to deep interest and engagement in nutrition and its implementation through cooking the food we eat. The journey has taken me through Ayurveda, Naturopathy and Western scientific research.

The more I study, the more I am moving from deep interest towards loving the science of food not only for fulfilling on the primary reason of getting started on this journey but also for self-preservation and for supporting my clients. After all, my clients can only lead their business to deeply fulfilling success and impact when they are at their optimum level of health and fitness.

Couple of interesting observations before I move forward towards the reason I started this article:

1. Love is the inspiration but it is commitment that gets you to take action inspite of the resistance to stepping out of your comfort zone.


2. Results only get created in the magical space just outside your comfort zone.

3. There is no overnight success. You can create any results you can dream of as long as you are willing to make a long-term commitment to creating those results. I have a lifetime commitment to the well-being of my kids, a lifetime commitment to impact the world through coaching and a lifetime commitment to play the game of mastery in all that I do. What are you committed to?

4. Kids are the biggest personal development and growth program you can invest in. I have grown, evolved, learnt so much more as a 13-year old parent.

5. Though, if I hadn’t invested massively in my own growth and development with numerous master coaches, I wouldn’t have known that being a parent is the opportunity that God gives us to grow our own self - physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

The real reason I started to write this article was to make a summary of the key ideas from the book I read recently: How Not to Die (prematurely) - Discover the Foods Scientifically Proven to Prevent and Reverse Disease. I strongly recommend reading this book to take your health and fitness in your own hands. Doctors and modern medical science may help you control and manage the symptoms of your body but healing yourself to perfect health and well-being is something only you can do.

The book covers the food that we should eat and the food that we should avoid to prevent and / or reverse:
i. Heart Disease
ii. Lung Diseases
iii. Brain Diseases
iv. Digestive Cancers
v. Infections
vi. Diabetes
vii. High Blood Pressure
viii. Liver Diseases
ix. Blood Cancers
x. Kidney Disease
xi. Breast Cancer
xii. Suicidal Depression
xiii. Prostate Cancer
xiv. Parkinson’s Disease


Dr Greger also lists the 12 things to eat daily for optimum health, fitness and well-being. The list is an eye-opener and helps you to take your and your family’s health in your control.

Here are few excerpts from the book to get you interested enough to start your own journey towards greater productivity, performance, effectiveness, creativity, innovation and mastery because the pre-requisite for all this is your perfect health and fitness. Reminding you once more that disease is a choice we make and is not the default outcome of going around the sun for more number of years.

1. Now, however, we know that as soon as we stop eating an artery-clogging diet, our bodies can start healing themselves, in many cases opening up arteries without drugs or surgery.

2. There may be no such thing as dying from old age. … Until recently, advanced age had been considered to be a disease itself, but people don’t die as a consequence of maturing. They die from disease, …

3. Back in 1903, Thomas Edison predicted that the “doctor of the future will give no medicine, but will instruct his patient in the care of the human frame in diet and in the cause and prevention of diseases.

4. The pandemic of chronic disease has been ascribed in part to the near-universal shift toward a diet dominated by animal-sourced and processed foods - in other words, more meat, dairy, eggs, oils, fizzy drinks, sugar and refined grains.

5. To see what effect an increase in meat consumption might have on disease rates, researchers studied lapsed vegetarians. People who once ate vegetarian diets but then started to eat meat at least once a week experienced a 146 percent increase in odds of heart disease, a 152 percent increase in stroke, a 166 percent increase in diabetes and a 231 percent increase in odds for weight gain. During the 12 years after the transition from vegetarian to omnivore, meat-eating was associated with a 3.6 year decrease in life expectancy.

6. Even vegetarians can suffer high rates of chronic disease if they eat a lot of processed foods. Take India, for example. This country’s rates of diabetes, heart disease, obesity and stroke have increased far faster than might have been expected given its relatively small increase in per capita meat consumption. This has been blamed on the decreasing “whole plant food content of their diet”, including a shift from brown rice to white rice and the substitution of other refined carbohydrates, packages snacks and fast-food products for India’s traditional staples of lentils, fruits, vegetables, whole grains, nuts and seeds. In general, the dividing line between health-promoting and disease-promoting foods may be less plant- versus animal-sourced foods and more whole plant foods versus most everything else.

7. … it wasn’t the weight loss and it wasn’t the exercise that reversed cell aging - it was the food.

8. It turns out a more plant-based diet may help prevent, treat or reverse every single one of our 15 leading causes of death.

A heart-healthy diet is a brain-healthy diet is a lung healthy diet. The same diet that helps prevent cancer just so happens to be the same diet that may help prevent type 2 diabetes and every other cause of death on the top 15 list.

Unlike drugs - which only target specific functions, can have dangerous side effects, and may only treat the symptoms of disease - a healthy diet can benefit all organ systems at once, has good side effects, and may treat the underlying cause of illness.

The one unifying diet found to best prevent and treat many of these chronic diseases is a whole-food plant-based diet, defined as an eating pattern that encourages the consumption of unrefined plant foods and discourages meats, dairy products, eggs and processed foods.

Treating the cause is not only safer and cheaper but it can work better. So why don’t more of my medical colleagues do it? Not only were they not trained how, doctors don’t get paid for it. No one profits from lifestyle medicine (other than the patient!), so it’s not a major part of medical training or practise. That’s how the current system works. The medical system is set-up to financially reward prescribing pills and procedures, not produce.

9. The primary reason diseases tend to run in families may be that diets tend to run in families.

10. Three hours after eating 50 grams of broccoli sprouts, the enzyme that cancers use to help silence our defenses is suppressed in your bloodstream to an extent equal to or greater than the chemotherapy agent specifically designed for that purpose, without toxic side effects.

11. In the Gene Expression Modulation by Intervention with Nutrition and Lifestyle (GEMINAL) study, Dr Ornish and colleagues took biopsies from men with prostate cancer before and after 3 months of intensive lifestyle changes that included a whole-food, plant based diet. Without any chemotherapy or radiation, beneficial changes in gene expression for 500 different genes were noted.

Within just a few months, the expression of disease-preventing genes were boosted, and oncogenes that promote breast and prostate cancer were suppressed.

Whatever genes we may have inherited from our parents, what we eat can affect how these genes affect our health. The power is mainly in our hands and on our plates.

12. Such lifestyle medicine pioneers as Nathan Pritikin, Dean Ornish and Caldwell Esseltyn Jr. took patients with advanced heart disease and put them on the kind of plant-based diet followed by Asian and African populations who didn’t suffer from heart disease.

… Their patients' heart disease started to reverse. These patients were getting better. As soon as they stopped eating an artery-clogging diet, their bodies were able to start dissolving away some of the plaque that had built up. Arteries opened up without drugs or surgery, even in some cases of patients with severe triple-vessel heart disease.

This suggests their bodies wanted to heal all along but were just never given the chance.

Let me share with you what has been called the “best kept secret in medicine”. Given the right conditions, the body heals itself.

… But what if you kept whacking it in the same place 3 times a day - say, at breakfast, lunch, and dinner? It would never heal.

13. Dr Ornish reported a 91% reduction in angina attacks within just a few weeks in patients placed on a plant-based diet both “with” or “without” exercise.

14. Plant-based diets are the nutritional equivalent of quitting smoking.

15. Research suggests a few extra daily servings of fruits and vegetables can reduce both the number of cases of asthma during childhood and the number of asthma attacks among people with the disease.

16. Foods of animal origin have been associated with increased asthma risk. A study of more than 100,000 adults in India found that those who consumed meat daily, or even occasionally, were significantly more likely to suffer from asthma, than those who excluded meat and eggs from their diets altogether.  Eggs (along with fizzy drinks) have also been associated with asthma attacks in children, along with respiratory symptoms, such as wheezing, shortness of breath and exercise-induced coughing.

Removing eggs and dairy from the diet has been shown to improve asthmatic children’s lung function in as few as 8 weeks.

17. Researchers out of Australia tried removing fruits and vegetables from asthma patients’ diets to see what would happen. Within two weeks, asthma symptoms grew significantly worse.

… Researchers repeated the experiment, but this time increased fruit and vegetable consumption to 7 servings a day. This simple act of adding a few more fruits and vegetables to their daily diet ended up successfully cutting the study subjects’ exacerbation rate in half. That’s the power of eating healthfully.

18. Supplements don’t appear to work. Studies have repeatedly shown that antioxidant supplements have no beneficial effects on respiratory or allergic diseases, underscoring the importance eating whole foods rather than trying to take isolated components or extracts in pill form.

19. … the key is starting early. High cholesterol and high blood pressure may begin hurting your brain as early as your twenties. By your sixties and seventies, when the damage can become apparent, it may already be too late.


​20. … regardless of the carcinogens that could be lurking in the environment, your greatest exposure may be through your diet.

21. India’s gross domestic product (GDP) is about 8 times less than that of the United States and about 20% of its population lives below the poverty line, yet cancer rates in India are much lower than in the United States. Women in the United States may have 10 times more colorectal cancer than women in India, 17 times more lung cancer, 9 times more endometrial cancer and melanoma, 12 times more breast cancer. Men in the United States appear to have 11 times more colorectal cancer than men in India, 23 times more prostate cancer, 14 times more melanoma, 9 times more kidney cancer and 7 times more lung and bladder cancer.

Why such a discrepancy? The regular use of the spice turmeric in Indian cooking has been proposed as one possible explanation.

… The low cancer rate in India may be due in part to the spices they use, but it may also stem from the types of foods they are putting the spices on. India is one of the world’s largest producers of fruits and vegetables, and only about 7% of the adult population eats meat on a daily basis. What most of the population does eat every day are dark green, leafy vegetables and legumes such as beans, split peas, chickpeas and lentils, which are packed with another class of cancer-fighting compounds called phytates.

… High phytate intake has been associated with less heart disease, less diabetes and fewer kidney stones.

22. Humans evolved eating huge amounts of fibre. … Because plants don’t tend to run as fast as animals, the bulk of our diet used to be made up of a lot of bulk. … Our bodies were designed to expect an ever-flowing fibre stream, so it dumps such unwanted waste products as excess cholesterol and estrogen into the intestines, assuming they will be swept away.

But if you aren’t constantly filling your bowels with plant foods, the only natural source of fibre, unwanted waste products can get reabsorbed and undermine your body’s attempts at detoxifying itself.

23. Interestingly, the immune boost provided by the cruciferous vegetables like broccoli not only protects us against the pathogens found in food but also against pollutants in the environment.

24. … there’s already something that can boost your immune system for free and by so much that you can achieve a 25-30 percent reduction in sick days.

… What is it?

Exercise.

25. Funded by Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, the Global Burden of Disease Study involved nearly 500 researchers from more than 300 institutions in 50 countries and examined nearly 100,000 data sources.

The results allow us to answer such questions as “How many lives could we save if people around the world cut back on fizzy drinks?” The best answer! 299,521. So soft drinks and their empty calories don’t just fail to promote health - they actually seem to promote death.

But apparently soda isn’t nearly as deadly as bacon, ham and hot dogs. Processed meat is blamed for the deaths of more than 800,000 people every year. Worldwide, that’s four times more people than those who die from illicit drug use.

The study also noted which foods, if added to the diet, might save lives. Eating more whole grains could potentially save 1.7 million lives a year. More vegetables? 1.3 million lives. How about nuts and seeds? 2.5 million lives.

​Worldwide, if humanity ate more fruit, we might save 4.9 million lives. That’s nearly 5 million lives hanging in the balance and their salvation isn’t medication or a new vaccine - it may be just more fruit.

26. The two most prominent dietary risks for death and disability in the world may be not eating enough fruit and eating too much salt. Nearly 5 million people appear to die every year as a result of not eating enough fruit, while eating too much salt may kill up to 4 million.
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… Humans are genetically programmed to eat ten times less sodium (salt) than we do.

27. Higher consumption of vegetables may cut the odds of developing depression by as much as 62 percent. A review in the journal Nutritional Neuroscience concluded that, in general, eating lots of fruits and veggies may present “a non-invasive, natural, and inexpensive therapeutic means to support a healthy brain.”

Trusting the excerpts from the book interested you enough to take a conscious look at what you eat and pick up the book to figure out how to eat healthfully so that you immensely enjoy your life and contribute much more through your work on account of delightful levels of health, fitness and well-being.

Here’s me wishing you a deeply fulfilling joyous journey of discovery towards greater health, productivity, performance, innovativeness and creativity.

Love, Jyoti.
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What are You Learning this Year?

24/1/2019

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3 years back, I picked up golf. 2 years back, I was still struggling with golf so continued learning golf. Last year, I committed to Karate. This year, I am giving myself up to piano and western classical music. Today, I had my first class in the same music school as my kids. My class was earlier than my teenage daughter’s so I was already practising when she strode in. She marches upto me, looking as much amused as bemused; not really knowing how to react as she sees me struggling with the piano keys and promptly announces matter-of-factly:  “Here, you are not my mother.” Before it registers, she has already vanished into her singing class. I had the music notes to worry about than to think about what she said. See, she doesn’t see adults learning around her except her funny mom who picks up a new thing to learn every year.

Couple of parents watched me enjoying the struggle of learning and said you are an inspiration. I know the idea of learning inspires them but they are unlikely to be inspired enough to commit themselves and their time to something that they will have to battle with because that is what learning is. Battling your grey cells with new information to process. This battling, this struggle is the exercise what our brain needs the most to stay young, healthy and fit right till we breath our last. That’s what the researchers at the Harvard-affiliated Massachusetts General Hospital have found.

I spoke to my best friend to share the excitement of the new thing I am learning this year. She shares how she struggles to get her kids to their badminton class. She acknowledged it is possibly because she herself is too lazy to do anything herself. I know it is not as much as laziness as the ennui of existence that catches up with you.

I admire the parents who bring their kids to the golf course for their classes because I cannot find enough commitment in me to just sit somewhere while the kids experience the joy of learning. I leave for the golf course at the time I said I would because I love practising and playing. I have never had to push the kids to attend their class because I would rather that they do something out of love, rather than because I am pushing them to do. Their love for golf has only grown as I left them to figure out that for themselves.

Though, I have learnt this the hard way. Few months back, my daughter told me how I had killed her love for Art by buying her books on famous artists and history of World Art. I listened to her in numb silence because I finally understood why she didn’t want to do anything with Art anymore after being such a prodigious and a passionate artist. My over-providing for her and giving her more than she asked for or was ready for is what killed her love for Art. I had also inadvertently killed her love for piano and maths earlier on. I am learning to give her space to discover herself and find her inner commitment. Being left to her own devices to figure out things, she came back to piano after 4 years.

Having burnt myself, I realised how only love and inner inspiration can drive learning. External motivation, grades, rewards, incentives and punishments only kills the inherent genius in kids and in people. That is why having grown up with external motivation, grades, incentives, rewards and punishments; by the time we have grown up, we are left up with zero inner inspiration, passion and joy of learning. That is why, we age.

Dying is inevitable, aging is not. We age by choice by not keeping alive love, passion and inspiration in us. I read someplace sadness is not the opposite of happiness, boredom is. Boredom sets in when we are not learning, growing and evolving; when we are not challenged to grow beyond who we are at this moment. Joy is in increasing our fitness across the 4 bodies of our Being - physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual - by taking on learning something to mastery.

What are you doing this year to grow? Which hobby will you re-invest yourself in? Which creative art or sport will you commit yourself to mastery? Which mountain will you scale or new land will you discover? Your age, your health, time, money - nothing is a barrier. The real barrier is inside your head.

All the thoughts that are racing in your head telling you why you cannot pick-up something new to learn are the barriers you are choosing. You can change the clothes you are wearing, so can you change your thoughts to support you to travel in the direction you want to explore. You are not your clothes, you have clothes. You are not your thoughts and emotions, you have thoughts and emotions. Just as you choose your clothes, you choose your thoughts. And, the thoughts you choose determine your lifestyle; determines the quantum of happiness, peace and fulfilment in your life.

You are bigger than your thoughts, bigger than your emotions, bigger than your circumstances. Stand up to walk towards the Life of your choice. God did not send us to Earth with a destiny already written out. We are made in the likeness of God - as a creator, a creator of our Life. (S)he sent us here with an empty whiteboard to write our destiny. We can also rub everything to draw something new.

You don’t believe it. That is why you won’t create it. Suspend your disbelief, resignation, cynicism for a moment and step into your dreams lying hidden inside you, with childlike trust and faith.

Now, let's have a conversation.

Love,
Jyoti.

References:
What does it take to be a Super-Ager?
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Why You Need both Outcome Goals and Process Goals?

17/1/2019

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The reason most people end up not fulfilling their intentions, realising their dreams, achieving their goals is because they fail to recognise the difference between Outcome and Process / Input Goals.

Outcome Goals define what destination you want to reach and by its very name are not in our control. We cannot guarantee that the outcomes we want will get created. Inspite of that, the first step to create a fulfilling life is to define the outcome goals. Happiness is really the experience of growth. If you review your outcome goals, you will realize the achievement of these necessarily means you have to grow as a human being. That is why impossible, unimaginable goals that fill your heart with joy, cause your eyes to shine like bright stars, which make you want to sing and dance are the best goals because of the massive growth you would have to undertake to realize these goals - growth across all the 4 bodies of your Being (physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual), growth in leadership depth, growth in business excellence and growth in craft mastery.

The mistake most people make is to get attached to the outcome goals because the outcome goals are merely indicators of how much growth we are committing ourselves to and to define the inputs required to achieve these goals. The inputs required to achieve the Outcome Goals are called the Process or Input Goals. These are our daily actions that we need to take to make our desired outcomes a reality.

Intention is for the future and attention to be firmly fixed in the present moment to fulfil on any intention. Once the Outcome Goals are defined, give them up to the Universe because the future is not in our hands and bring your focus totally to the present moment to work on your Input / Process Goals.

A powerful way to create the future is to define your Top 5 Outcome Goals for the year across the 5 areas of your wheel of Life (deeply fulfilling successful career, loving harmonious relationships, happy responsible kids with their genius joyfully expressed, nurturing nourishing me-time, making a difference) as a new year dawns and identify Top 10 Process Goals to take action on daily to ensure the achievement of the Outcome Goals. Write them on a 1-pager along with your Personal Inner Commitment, Strengths and Values.

Read this 1-Pager daily 3 times - as soon as you wake up, after meditation and just before sleeping. This is a powerful way to remind yourself of what is your commitment to create (Top 5 Outcomes) in that year, strengths that power you to create, who you are committed to be irrespective of circumstances or other people or outcomes (values), your life’s purpose (personal inner commitment) and Top 10 Process Goals (what you need to do to achieve the outcomes you are committed to create in a specific year).

As you review and reflect on your 1-pager at the end of the year, one of the 3 things would happen:

a. a foundation gets laid for the Outcome Goal to be achieved,

b. an Outcome gets created but different from what you had intended though this Outcome serves your growth more powerfully that your original Outcome,

c. the Outcome got achieved.

What is the most powerful creative force in the world without which you would not be able to achieve your goals, fulfil your intentions, realise your dreams?

Gratitude. Not thinking gratitude but feeling gratitude in your heart and in your body. That is when it is truly authentic and powerful. If there is a drop of water in a glass and I am grateful for it, the glass will fill up with water. If my glass is three quarters full and I am discontented, experience scarcity, lack because of the emptiness in the glass, yearn for the glass to fill up, complain verbally or non-verbally about what is not there, continuously focus on what is not available to me, the glass will soon become empty. It is interesting how what you focus on grows and what you don’t focus on slowly disappears. I encourage you to experiment with this idea in your life to arrive at the truth of it.

Feeling gratitude is actually turning your focus into the positive aspects in other people and in your environment, in your circumstances. When you focus on the positive aspects, they expand. You cannot feel gratitude and not feel joy, love and peace. This year, make a commitment to deepen your experience of gratitude for what is there and what is not there. Commit to experiencing the perfection in the Universe. In an interview, Amitabh Bachchan, Indian movie actor growing in his superstardom even at 76, said that he is grateful when his intention gets fulfilled and he is even more grateful when his intention doesn’t get fulfilled because then the Universe’ intention is getting fulfilled.

There is huge power in childlike trust and faith in the Universe, which centres you emotionally, mentally and spiritually freeing you to focus deeply in the present moment to take powerful effective action to create the reality of your choice instead of getting caught up and wasting time participating in the emotional drama of life.

Be grateful if your Outcome got created. Be grateful if your specific Outcome didn’t get created and some other Outcome got created because this is what serves your growth at this moment most powerfully, if you would only open yourself to recognise that. Be grateful if a foundation got laid for the Outcome Goal to be achieved because the foundation, which may seem like a baby step at this moment is the most important step for the achievement of this Outcome goal. Without the foundation step, this tiny little first step, the Outcome Goal will not get achieved ever.

Review your Outcome and Process Goals at the end of the year. Based on your learnings during the year, you may want to shift your Outcome Goals and change your Process Goals to create your Outcomes with even more velocity.

Enjoy your journey of creation. Have fun along the journey.

Love,
Jyoti.

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My Top 26 Lessons from 2018

16/1/2019

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1. Fitness like that of a professional athlete is a necessary input for top performance in business and in all other areas of life.

2. What you eat is what you become. Eat super healthy like a super star. Indian food can be fully whole grain, plant based, oil-free and yet delicious.

3. Age-related weakening of eye-sight can be reversed through yoga and healthy diet. I no longer need reading glasses for reading.

4. It is never too late to build strength and stamina. I used to feel exhausted after playing 9 holes and would lay the blame on being 45. Now, even after playing 18 holes at the golf course, I still have energy to do a rigorous workout.

5. Dreams have power. They can bring purpose, focus and committed action even in a 13-year old bogged down by the lure of internet, the trap of peer pressure and the temptation of living an easy life.

6. You grow old the day you stop learning new things. I am looking for a music teacher for my 73 old parents.

7. Your clients are not paying you for the number of hours you spend with them but the output you help them create. My new program run over 66 hours creates far more impact and value for my clients than my earlier program run over 288 hours. This shift is a direct outcome of investing massively in my personal growth and development.

8. Meditation spurs creativity and productivity besides reducing the number of hours to sleep to feel refreshed and rejuvenated.

9. Spending time on making a massive difference to your current clients is the biggest marketing initiative you can run.

10. Time invested in mastering your craft is more effective over the long term than spending time in networking and social media to grow your business because it helps you to create a high-value pull business instead of setting-up a push business in which you spend your time chasing customers instead of making a dent in the Universe.

11. 20% of what you do creates 80% of your outcomes. Figuring out your 20% and putting your ultra-focus there is the secret of creating abundance of time to do all that you want to do but never found time for.

12. Doing all that you always wanted to do but never found the time for unlocks your hidden reservoir of massive energy.

13. Shifting who you are as a human being is the single most powerful way of shifting what outcomes your business creates.

14. Having a coach to be on a journey of discovering one’s blind spots ongoingly gets one to take powerful effective action to create breakthrough outcomes in life, professionally and personally.

15. Learning a sport like a pro teaches more about personal leadership and personal excellence than all the classroom sessions you will ever attend.

16. It is in giving that we receive. Giving 10% of your income to charity and social welfare grows your business in unexpected ways.

17. Owning your own culture, heritage and language gives your children deeper roots, stability and self-esteem to joyfully express their inherent genius.

18. Love, respect and relating to everyone as equals wins all battles.

19. Listening deeply is the single most important leadership skill which is missing. Learn to listen deeply by learning the art of conversation using the power of silence, questions and commitment to coach people to discover their inner light.

20. You can’t win by being a Fighter, fighting with circumstances and people in your life at work and at home. The only way to win is by being a Peaceful Warrior fighting your battles within, which is the source of all that is not working in the world outside.

21. Daily reviewing your personal inner commitment, strengths, values, Top 5 Annual Outcome Goals and Top 10 Annual Process (/Input) Goals releases energy to take daily action to make your annual outcome goals a reality by the end of the year. Create your 1-pager for 2019, if you haven’t as yet.

22. Multiple intentions across different areas of your life can be fulfilled with a single action. Write your intentions across all the areas of your wheel of life - deeply fulfilling successful career, happy responsible kids with their genius joyfully expressed, nurturing and nourishing me-time, making a difference - to identify actions that will fulfil multiple intentions. That’s being effective, productive, creative and innovative.

23. Read more than you think you can. Read every free minute you have to stand on the shoulders of masters to see further than anyone else has ever seen in your industry, your domain, your craft to innovate and contribute powerfully to your customer and employee communities. Business growth is a logical outcome of this.

24. Cut down on technology and rev-up on self-awareness.

25. Saying a prayer before eating increases the taste and nutrition of the food that you eat. Use the prayer before a meal to reset and recharge yourself emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

26. Be love, gratitude and reverence. Be childlike trust and faith. Be in the present moment by keeping your attention on your breath as it comes out and as it goes in. Be fun.

Love, Jyoti.
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Why I Won’t Advise My Clients?

15/1/2019

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My job is to mess up with my clients’ thinking, not tell them what to do. My clients are experts and top leaders in their fields, they probably know much more in their industry than anyone else. They already have everything figured out. Advising them and telling them what to do will not give them a breakthrough in their creativity, productivity, performance and innovativeness.

What gives them ideas they hadn’t thought of before, emotions they hadn’t felt before, actions they hadn’t considered before that takes them to the next level that they didn’t even think was possible or available is getting challenged in the way they think, how they think and what they think. Which is what I call messing up with their minds, totally turning their thinking around upside down, inside out. This is what gives them a new way of thinking, a new way of feeling, a new way of being which raises the bar in every area of their life - career, relationships, kids, nurturing and nourishing themselves, making a difference in the various communities that they are a part of and most importantly, creating an abundance of time within the same 24 hours for things that they are deeply passionate and committed about.

I got a call from a client today for an urgent advice. I told him I don’t do that. Though, I would be happy to coach him if that’s what he wanted. The coaching call didn’t go in the direction he expected. I told him that’s the problem seeking someone's advice. We have already made up our mind and all we want is someone’s agreement on that. Since we are on a coaching call, I will not give you what you want but what you need to see, hear and feel; and you would resist that though that’s what would support you the most in creating a breakthrough for yourself.

My clients have enough yes men and women in their lives and I am about tough love. I love and care so much for my clients that I don’t really care that they love me back. In fact, if my clients don’t hate me for sometime during their engagement with me, I know I need to serve them more powerfully.

The same is with my kids. If I don’t hear I hate you often enough, it’s a signal for me to parent them more powerfully instead of easing myself into winning a popularity contest with them. They understand the value of that just as my clients do. So much so, that my 12-year old has taken me on as her coach to fulfil on her greatest dream. This is the toughest assignment that I have taken up so far because when you coach someone, you step into a relationship of equals and you take on being coachable yourself. I no longer can use the line when she asks the question ‘Why do I have to do that?’ - Because I am your mom. I also have a constant watchdog observing whether I am living my personal inner commitment and my values, which is totally tough though serves me very powerfully to grow. So, in a way, she is running the toughest coach training program for me.

Parenting, leading and coaching are intertwined. Each of the roles have to play the other two roles equally effectively and powerfully to do justice to their specific role.

Parenting is about parenting (unconditional love and acceptance) and leading (doing 10X what you tell your kids to do) and coaching (supporting your kids to realise their greatest dreams in deepest communion with their highest self, supporting them to be happy and fulfilled with their genius joyfully expressed).

Coaching is about parenting (unconditional love and acceptance) and leading (doing 10X what you tell your clients to do) and coaching (supporting your clients to realise their greatest dreams in deepest communion with their highest self, supporting them to be happy and fulfilled with their genius joyfully expressed).

Leading is about parenting (unconditional love and acceptance) and leading (doing 10X what you tell your team to do) and coaching (supporting your team to realise their greatest dreams in deepest communion with their highest self, supporting them to be happy and fulfilled with their genius joyfully expressed).

Wishing you the joy of being a deeply fulfilled leader, parent and a coach creating breakthrough outcomes in all areas of your life.

Love,
Jyoti.
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Why Have A Personal Inner Commitment?

12/1/2019

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​What is your Personal Inner Commitment? I have known it to give as much focus, purpose, direction, joy of living, fulfilment to a 10-year old as to a 73-year old and to all ages in between. It has changed the life trajectory of all my clients by connecting them to their centre, which they did not even know existed. From angry negativity to fulfilling work excellence; from lack of self-esteem to building a business to impact the world; from down and out corporate professional to joy, gratitude and a successful business; from burnout to a successful corporate career; from on-the-verge of divorce, cynicism, resignation to re-kindling of fun, friendship and companionship. All this is the magic of having a Personal Inner Commitment (PIC).

Do you have one?

If you don’t, it is time to stop and create one because it is your Rock of Gibraltar in the stormy weather of Life.

Here’s how to create and live your Personal Inner Commitment. Begin with asking yourself the following questions:

1. Who am I?

2. What legacy do I want to leave behind?

3. What impact I would have wanted to make, if today were my last day of my life?

4. What do I want to be the world’s best in?

5. What is my Personal Inner Commitment?

You could be in one of the four stages of Life as you read the above questions:

1. You are down and out. You are ready to hold on to anything that can pull you out of this current abyss. It is a great idea to use PIC to step into your zone of genius.

2. You are so caught up in fulfilling the basic needs of life that these questions don’t make any sense. You just don’t have the bandwidth to look beyond the obvious, to dive deeper inside for meaning and purpose. Know that PIC is the place to start from to create abundance in your life - of money, of time, of everything else; to go beyond lack, scarcity, neediness, yearning to abundance and prosperity.

3. Already are successful and have abundance. So, the above questions don’t make sense. Life is fun, why take it seriously? Yeah, sure. You can choose to stay at this point till the shine wears off. And, it will because you are meant for something bigger.

4. Life is good, you have everything to fulfil your needs, success makes life comfortable and yet you are seeking greater fulfilment, you are seeking greater expression of your creative self, you are seeking to go beyond who you are and make a difference, make an impact. Yes, begin with PIC as the link to take you there.

Whichever stage you are in, your personal inner commitment is your commitment between yourself and yourself. The only other being you would share your PIC with would be your coach and that is it. Why only your coach? Because your coach holds the space for your greatness. Why not anyone else? Otherwise, it loses its power by either becoming a way for self-aggrandisement or a way for other people's cynicism to get you to lose your belief. Both ways, you lose your energy and you lose your personal power to create.

This is how you define your Personal Inner Commitment - I am the world’s best _____________.

Go ahead and fill in the blank above.

This is now your inner commitment to the God inside of you. Believe in it as your inner truth. Make it the source of your every thought, every feeling, every word, every action and watch the magic unfold.

Write to me at [email protected] to share your experience.


Love,
Jyoti.

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Why Does a Coach Need a Coach?

14/12/2018

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One of the entrepreneurs in the session I was leading yesterday was curious to know why I have a coach, though I am a coach and for how long would I work with a coach. I loved the questions, so taking time to reflect on them more deeply than the brief discussion we had during the session.

First, lets define a coach. Just like a railway coach, the job of a human coach is to be the vehicle for transporting the passengers / coachees from point A to point B in their life journey. Sure, you can travel on foot instead of catching a train or taking some other transport; just that the velocity with which you will reach your destination will vary.

Here’s my personal definition of a coach. A coach’s job is to support their clients to realise their greatest, unimaginable, impossible dreams in deepest communion with their highest self while having it all - a deeply fulfilling successful career / business, loving harmonious relationships, happy responsible kids with their genius joyfully expressed, lots of nourishing nurturing me-time and making a huge difference in the world through living their purpose this lifetime.

The way a coach delivers on the above is by coaching their clients to be in perfect health and well-being across the four bodies of their Being - physical, emotional, intellectual / mental, spiritual. Without the highest level of fitness across the four bodies, we don’t have enough inner strength to embark on the journey to fulfil on our purpose this lifetime to realise our dreams and have it all.

The job of a coach isn’t to motivate but to connect their clients to their inner inspiration that brings stars to their eyes, dance in their feet, a song on their lips, a smile in their heart and joyous stillness in their mind so that their clients are unstoppable in taking powerful effective actions to realise their greatest dreams; however unimaginable, however impossible, however scary.

The job of a coach isn’t to give solutions but to lead their clients from their present questions to even bigger questions because it is the quality of our questions that determines whether we will ever throw off the lampshade to let our inner Light shine brightly. We may waste our entire life solving the wrong questions. A coach leads us to the right questions and our inner wisdom that truly guides us forward on our path.

A coach’s job is to show the mirror to their clients so that they can discover their own blind spots, their inner barriers that they are blind to that give them limited or no results in different areas of their wheel of life. Our only access to dropping our inner barriers is by self-discovering them instead of being told. It is the skill of a coach that aids this self-discovery.

A coach also coaches through modelling the behaviour, thoughts, skills, emotions, attitudes, mindset, heartset, healthset, soulset they know would serve their clients. That, in fact, is the way humans learn; not through information but by seeing others taking action because of what are known as mirror neurons.

Therefore, if I want my clients to be coachable; I have to be coachable. If I want to support my clients to realize their unimaginable, impossible dreams by going to places inside that scare them, by facing their deepest fears, darkest secrets and embracing their resistances; I have to be on the journey to realise my unimaginable, impossible dreams by going to places inside that scare me, by ongoingly facing my deepest fears, darkest secrets and embracing my resistances by doing exactly what I fear, what I resist and sharing my darkest secrets with another being so that those fears, resistances, secrets no longer have a hold on me.

​That also means I need someone to show me the mirror so that I can discover my blind spots for me to go beyond. I need someone to model for me growth habits so that I can inculcate them in me because our mirror neurons support us to learn with speed by mirroring others. That is why a wise advice is to choose your company carefully because we become the average of five people we hang around the most with. I need someone to lead me to greater questions and connect me to my inner wisdom through what is known as a socratic discussion or a conversation where you are lead with questions to facilitate self-inquiry. I need someone who holds the space for my inner Light to shine brightly.


That is why I have not one but five coaches - karate, yoga, fitness, golf, and a coach supporting me to realise my greatest dreams in deepest communion with my highest self while having it all.

And, I am on a lookout for more coaches because I want to live more each moment, create more than what would have been possible otherwise, love and give so much more beyond the paper-ghost fears that hold me back.

When will I no longer need a coach? When I don’t want to grow anymore. I hope I have the wisdom never to end up in that spot.

Am I dependent on my coaches? Is that not dependency, neediness? I and my coaches have a relationship of equals, just as I and my clients have a relationship of equals. To the degree I grow, to the same degree they grow. To the same degree they grow, to the same degree I grow. That is mirror neurons at play. So, when my clients connect back with me many years later thanking me with gratitude for the difference I made in their lives; I turn towards them with loving joyous gratitude in my heart and thank them deeply for the difference they made to my life by being coachable and choosing me as their coach because I am privy to the secret that I am going to share with you now.

There was a time nothing was working for me and then, I had a moment of epiphany as I was lit up with the realisation that the only way I will get what I want is to give it to others. I knew this intellectually before but in that moment, it was a visceral experience. The knowing came from deep within. As I have helped my clients build their businesses, discover and connect to their authentic selves, nurture loving harmonious relationships, raise happy responsible kids, realise their greatest dreams, create health and well-being across the four bodies of their Being, find time to nurture and nourish themselves while contributing to their customer & employee communities and people in their lives, experience fun, fulfilment, freedom; I found the very same things come alive in my own life. To the degree I gave, to that exact degree it became alive in my life.

It is interesting that great people from two very different fields arrived at the same truth and shared it with the world in their words:

Isaac Newton’s 3rd Law - Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.

St Francis of Assisi in a prayer that I love and connect so deeply with  - It’s in giving that we receive.

Should you have a coach? The answer to that lies within you. When the student is ready, the teacher appears. I have experienced the truth of that. When you are ready, the coach right for you will show up. How do you know the coach is right for you? It just feels right.

Wishing you the joy of the journey.

Love, Jyoti.

Reference:
Mirror Neurons - The most powerful learning tool


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How to Deal with Stress?

29/11/2018

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A client's friend died of heart-attack at 40 years of age. A fellow golfer mentioned the other day that his colleague in Australia, inspite of being a vegetarian and enthusiastically following his rigorous fitness routine, had cancer and died at 45. A friend's sister was advised a heart bypass surgery at 42. My sister was diagnosed with Diabetes at 35. What do you think is happening here?

Each of the above diseases is referred to as a 'Lifestyle' disease. Our species, it seems, has self-created these diseases because of our modern past-paced, high-stress Lifestyle.

What is Stress? The dictionary defines stress as a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances.

Sure, one can blame the corporate world for creating stressful work environments with long hours and high pressure targets, causing so many young people to succumb to loss of productivity and creativity, or diseases, or death; depending upon the severity of stress. Though, that would be giving away one's power to the environment; as if to say we have no choice in the process.

If we were to have a choice, if we were to be responsible for our own health and well-being; what would that mean? How do we deal with stress powerfully so that it does not lead us into dis-ease? Is there something else we would need to deal with, besides stress; so that right till we breathe our last, we have a great quality of life, high fitness levels without having to manage any age-related or any other diseases, our mental faculties are in top order and we continue to contribute joyously and massively through our work that we are passionate about. Or, is it that whatever we may do, we will still fall prey to diseases because that is the natural cycle for our species? If that were the case, should we then simply saunter along life with unhealthy habits just because it is easy to live with unhealthy habits instead of working hard to embrace growth habits?

Let us walk together to find answers to some of these questions.

Fundamentally, it is important to understand that if our intention is health and wellness, then we have to consider five bodies instead of the one that we see - physical, energy, emotional, mental and spiritual. Working on only the physical body is not a sustainable way to create health and well-being because the physical body houses the other four bodies. Any dis-ease in the inner four bodies will show as symptoms at the level of the physical body.

Therefore, to be effective in creating long-term health, fitness and joyous well-being, it is wise to not only work inwards from physical to energy to emotional to mental to spiritual body, but also to work outwards from spiritual to mental to emotional to energy to physical body while also working simultaneously at all levels. Let us walk further to explore how.

1. Physical Body: The physical body is directly impacted by what we eat, how we eat, when we eat, what fitness regimen we have to ensure that the physical body is fit, agile, flexible till our very last moment. Yes, it is possible. My karate coach's super coach is a young 73 years black belt Dan 10, which is the highest level of recognised expertise. He is as yet actively coaching students from across the world to mastery in Karate.  

The physical body is indirectly impacted by the fitness levels of the other four bodies. If they are not healthy, dis-ease shows up as symptoms at the level of the physical body.

Should it not be our business to determine what kind of diet, exercise routines and fitness regimens for the other four bodies would keep us at the highest levels of energy, giving us an elite athlete's fitness level instead of creaking joints and cracking organs as we add days to our life?

2. Energy Body:  Do an honest Energy Audit to self-assess which people, places, animals, things, habits, food, work, chores etc. energise you and which drain you. Also, assess how much time you spend in total on what energises you and what drains you. What are your learnings and insights from this exercise? What do you now understand that you hadn't understood before? What needs to change?

A deeper self-inquiry will reveal that there's a specific emotion attached to each of the above and it is the energy of the emotion attached to each one of the above that is either draining or energising us.

Would it not contribute to you to do an Energy Audit with raw honesty to understand what is depleting your energy and what is growing your energy; and systematically removing that from your environment that is not contributing to your growth?

What would become available to you if you could see how your energy has an impact on your physical body and learn how you can grow your energy levels?

3. Emotional Body: 
Trauma is severe and lasting emotional shock and pain caused by an extremely upsetting experience.

The emotional body holds trauma memories, stored at the cellular level. Our emotional body is a container of:
i. all the emotions that we have ever experienced since our birth and did not process because it was too painful. It was so painful that it seemed easy to push them under the carpet and our emotions ran away like little kids to hide in different parts of our body.
ii. all the painful emotions of our ancestors (our parents, grandparents and even further up in the family tree) locked up in our DNA; painful emotions that they could not process in their lifetime or did not know how to.
iii. all the painful emotions from our previous lifetimes that we did not have the awareness, wisdom and understanding to process and dissolve at that time.


Creating fitness at this body requires us to connect with our deepest emotions and find ways to access emotions lying hidden to finally face them, embrace them, viscerally forgive all the actors in that memory including ourself and find inner peace, that now allows us to connect authentically with ourself and all beings. 

I have worked with clients who had relationship issues because they never experienced their mother or father's love and appreciation as they were growing up, clients who had abundance issues because they did not experience themselves worthy in response to a humiliating incident in childhood which the conscious mind does not remember but the sub-conscious mind is still burning up with that emotion of 'not being good enough', clients who had self-esteem issues inspite of being super successful but all that money and success does nothing to fill the emptiness inside because the emptiness is way back from the past, clients who are leaders in their industry but are lonely and know not how to love or receive love because they did not receive love as they were growing up.

Would it not be worthwhile to explore how to heal the emotional body to the highest levels of happiness because our blood pressure, diabetes, obesity, cancer, heart-disease etc. is likely to have its source at this level; besides the dis-ease at the emotional level making it difficult for us to create success, positive impact and prosperity with ease and grace, while having it all?

4. Mental Body: We are rational, logical beings. Without engaging the intellect in the whole game of creating the highest level of health, fitness and well-being, we will find the journey an arduous one because of the nature of the mind. It's default state holds limiting thought patterns, has a tendency of either lamenting about the past or worrying about the future, has deep aversions and cravings, and runs in million directions simultaneously. This default state creates continual upheaval in the emotional body and comes in the way of accessing our power to fulfil our intentions and realize our dreams. 

Health and well-being at the level of the mental body means purifying the mind so that there's stillness, tranquility, equanimity, clarity, purposeful focus, joyous inspiration, acceptance and non-judgement within. This unleashes the unlimited creative power of the mind to give us enhanced productivity, performance, effectiveness, creativity and innovation. As the mind purifies within, we begin to effortlessly create success, positive impact and prosperity in the world outside.

How would it be to be on such an adventure to cross the frontiers within to create a whole new reality in alignment with our greatest dreams in deepest communion with our highest self?

5. Spiritual Body: The spiritual body seeks purpose, growth to our highest self and transformation from evolutionary fear to compassionate love for oneself and for all beings.The health and wellbeing at the level of the spiritual body means living with purposeful passion, making a massive difference through our work; living with a visceral experience of love, gratitude, reverence, integrity, mastery consciousness, joy, abundance;  with a full-blown access to our inner Power to Create™ to fulfil our highest intentions and realise our greatest dreams which may have seemed scary, unimaginable, impossible before.

What would being on such a Hero's Journey to lead yourself and your business from good to great, realize your dreams and have it all with ease and grace make available for you?

Love for you as you are right now and reverence for the undeniable greatness within you waiting to emerge in its fullness to make our world a happier, healthier, peaceful place,
j.
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How to Be Happy and What Does It Have to do with Your Effectiveness?

27/11/2018

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My American Boss at Amex told us a very interesting story from his life, that I still remember. I am  so deeply impacted by the profoundness of it, even after 10 years, that have probably narrated it 100 times to my clients and ​​even to my kids. I am going to share this story with you today because in it lies the answer to the question - How to Be Happy? 

In all my years of coaching and being coached, the only answer that I found to the question - How to be happy? - is in being able to love. I have discovered that the real question isn't what can I do to be happy. The real question is what can I do to love more expansively - love myself; love my work; increase the depth of my love for my spouse, kids, parents, sisters, friends; feel loving kindness towards all fellow beings at home, at work, everywhere. In strengthening our hearts and increasing our capacity to love gives us the only access to happiness that there is. There is no other way to find happiness. Find love within yourself and you will experience happiness in that moment.

So, how do you love? That's where Brian's story comes in. He belongs to a family of devout Christians. At 16 years of age, he goes to the community church to spend his summer vacation to serve under the Father he adores and admires. He gets to share his room with another 16-year old, John. Brian is most displeased with John and complains to Father - "Father, John is the dirtiest boy that I have ever met. He smells because he doesn't take a bath, neither does he change his clothes. He throws the banana peels on the floor, doesn't make his bed, keeps chewing gum the whole day and sticks them to his bed after he is done chewing. Please, can I have another room-mate?"

Father gives a long kindly look to the 16-year old Brian and replies - "Brian, will you do what I tell you?"

"Of course, Father"

"Will you make John's bed everyday and throw the peels in the dustbin?"

Brian hesitates but his love and reverence for the Father wins over his distaste for what he was asking him to do. "Yes, Father. I will do it, if you say so."

After a week, Father comes looking around for Brian and asks him - "How are things with John, Brian?"

"A little better, perhaps. I would still love it if you would change my room-mate, Father. I can't sleep because he smells so bad. He doesn't even brush his teeth. The old chewed gums have nearly covered the whole bed side."

"Will you do what I ask you to do, Brian?"

"Yes, Father."

"Will you ensure John brushes his teeth and takes a bath every day? Would you remove the old chewed gums from his bedside and wash his clothes daily, Brian?" 

A long silence but love and admiration for Father is so strong that Brian acquiesces, though half-heartedly. 

Three weeks later, Father comes around looking for Brian to find him happier than he ever has seen him since the month started. "How are things with John, Brian?"

Brian beams, "Oh Father, we have become such good friends."

You may have discovered the answer to the question. Yes, the only access to experience love is to be of service.

In all her wisdom, Nature created babies to be helpless beings; unable to take care of themselves. Parents have to feed them, bathe them, clean them when they mess-up their nappies, teach them and so much more. That is why parents love their babies so immensely. That is why it is important for the father as well as the mother to be fully engaged in taking care of the baby because the baby needs love from both parents. Have you noticed that as the kids become more self-sufficient and we are less of service to them, the quality of our love is not as powerfully deep as when they were helpless little babies, totally dependent on us to take care of them? It takes all our leadership depth to keep the love going strong and keep the anger, resentment, irritation, upset at bay :-)

You must have figured the answer to the questions we raised in the beginning of our conversation:
What can I do to love more expansively? 
a. Love myself - be of service to yourself by nurturing and nourishing yourself.
b. Love my work - be of service to your customer community.
c. Increase the depth of my love for my spouse, kids, parents, sisters, friends - be of greater service to them. 
d. Feel loving kindness towards all fellow beings at home, at work, everywhere - In our culture, we have 2 powerful words - Daan and Seva. Daan means to give away part of your wealth for the well-being of the communities you are a part of. Seva means to be of service to the communities that you belong to. Interestingly, various cultures around the world have the spiritual practice of tithing - which is giving away one-tenth of your income as an offering to God or for the works of mercy.

How beautiful it is that we have no dependency on anyone or anything outside of ourselves to be happy. All we need is to be in the act of being of service and in that very instant, love spreads through our body and we experience happiness.

It is a well-researched fact that being happy expands our mind while being in the grip of negative emotions (anger, upset, frustration, irritation, resentment, hopelessness, resignation, cynicism, sadness, boredom, lethargic etc.) shuts down our mind. When would you be more effective? When would you have greater access to your inner creativity and ability to innovate solutions that make a difference? When would you be more productive? When would you deliver better performance? When your mind expands or when it is shut down?

Wishing you the joy of the journey to connect to your Higher Purpose, to live from there and making the choice to be happy moment-by-moment.

Love and reverence,
​Jyoti.
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How We Push Away the Very Thing that We Seek?

12/10/2018

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You are looking to increase your profitability or build a great business or create fame and fortune or raise extraordinary kids living in the expression of their innate genius or be in perfect physical, emotional, mental, spiritual health & well-being or have loving harmonious relationships at home and at work or have a super successful career or make a huge impact through your work or be happy.

What if I invite you to replace each ’or' in the previous sentence with 'and'?
​

To create even one of the above feels like a struggle, leave alone create all of the above simultaneously. Why? And, how to access the power to create all of the above outcomes with grace and ease?

The reason it feels like a struggle is because we don't understand the science of creating outcomes and most often than not, do the opposite of what is required. To give you an analogy - the door opens on the inside and what we are doing is pushing it to open outwards. We work so hard to push the door to open, struggle with the resistance that the door is offering in return; feel exhausted, tired, frustrated, angry, upset, stressed at not seeing the result of the door opening inspite of all the effort we have put in. The energy, effort, struggle was not needed if only we had known that the door opened on the inside and had to be pulled instead of pushed.


Here's the process of creating outcomes effortlessly with the lightness of Being instead of the heaviness of Doing (when the doing is not originating in the Being):

1. To fulfil our intentions, we want to pull the door of Life instead of pushing it when it can only be pulled by not coming in the way of what’s naturally occurring. When we resist what is, we lose our energy in the resistance rather than using it for the process of creation. When we use Agility of Mind to joyously and gratefully receive what is naturally occurring as a gift, we open the door of creativity to create elegant, time and energy efficient solutions to fulfil our intentions by simply using what is.

In my previous business, the product had more features and hence, more price than what the target audience wanted. Instead of struggling in the earlier business model, I chose instead to reposition the product to another customer segment where needs, features and price are matched. If I had become frustrated like many of my peer entrepreneurs, I could not have broken my business model to evolve to the next one, which is professionally, personally and financially more fulfilling for me.

2. Have intentions instead of goals. An intention is a place to come from; while a goal is a place to go to.

When you are chasing a goal, your attention is on that point in the future when your goal is achieved. The gap between where I am and where I want to go creates in us a sense of lack, yearning, scarcity for what we don't have right now.

When fulfilling an intention, the attention is placed right here right now so that our energy is concentrated in the present moment, instead of being dissipated and dispersed. The attention is on our commitment to fulfil our intentions. From that concentrated attention and commitment to fulfil the intention (come what may), our actions are fired.

In the world of goals, there’s always somewhere else to reach. How can we be centred and grounded if we are racing to be somewhere else than where we are? Also, in that race, there is stress. The creative mind works best in a no-stress environment, where it experiences being still and centred. Then only the most effective, innovative ideas are generated to fulfil our intentions.

Goals are externally thrust upon, while intentions are internally inspired. Intentions focus on the right inputs and the joy of the journey, while goals focus on the output and short-lived excitement in the moment the goal is achieved. Goals require external sheen, charisma and motivation; while intentions require mindfulness, inner tranquility and inspiration.

My clients usually come to me with a goal to build a bigger business and increase their profitability. I coach them to shift their perspective to translate that goal into an intention of making a bigger difference to their employees, customers and family. They are always pleasantly surprised to find that their original goal gets fulfilled as a by-product of working on their intentions.

3. Articulate your intentions and make them SMART - Specific, Measurable, something that you believe is Achievable, something you believe is Realistic, Time-bound. The key here is your belief. Like Henry Ford said - Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you are right! 

Without a smartly articulated intention, we have no pole star to guide us. Without the pole star, we are a rudderless boat being aimlessly thrown around in the direction the waves of circumstance push us.

What are your intentions this Lifetime? What are your impossible, unimaginable dreams this Lifetime; the idea of fulfilling them itself leaves you refreshed, rejuvenated, energized? Do you have a Dream Lifestyle that you are playing to create? Do you have this year’s articulated intentions to support you to create physical, emotional, intellectual / mental, spiritual health and well-being? What do you want to create through your Life, through your work? If today were your last day, creating what so far would fulfil you the most and leave you with no pain of leaving the earthly abode?

4. The sacred scripture from my culture, Bhagavad Gita, mentors us to be detached from the outcomes. Let us dig deeper into the logic behind it. When I am needy for the outcomes, I shut myself from different kind of outcomes which may be more effective than what is stuck in my head. I also become risk averse because I am so tied to the outcomes I am desperately seeking. In this desperation and neediness, we don’t make the highest choices to create impossible magical outcomes. Instead, we choose safe, tried and tested options which will only lead us on the path of mediocrity.

When our focus and attention is on the input side and our emotional state does not sway like a pendulum based on the output of our actions or reactions of people around us, our input is of higher quality resulting in a higher quality output. We are also able to enjoy the process of learning and creation.

If I were attached to making my previous business successful, I would not have had the courage to hibernate it to start another business from scratch after 7 years of building my previous business. I thank Grace for the detachment because now I am building a business which is much more closely connected to my purpose this Lifetime, which fills me up with greater joy and passion, which challenges me infinitely more and hence creates a pathway for me to grow that much more than what was possible before.

5. When we are attached to the outcome, to what we are seeking to create; not having it right now creates scarcity, lack, yearning, impatience to create, choosing short-cuts instead of increasing leadership depth to evolve from evolutionary fear to compassionate love for ourselves and for all beings, deepening craft mastery to be the world’s best in what we do, creating business excellence to make a dent in the Universe through the work we do.

I chose to extend myself globally in search of my tribe, my community who I would be inspired to coach, focus on being a master of my craft, deepen myself as a leader, as a human being, build my business through making a huge difference to my current clients instead of spending time on marketing, promoting, networking for quicker returns.


Wishing you the joy of the journey this Lifetime and celebrations every moment along the way.
​

Love, Jyoti.
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How our Cultural Heritage Gives Us Nourishment to Grow into our Highest Self?

10/10/2018

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If you cut the roots of a tree, the tree will die not only because it will have no foundation to stand on but also because it no longer will receive any nourishment. Similarly, we human beings will die emotionally, intellectually / mentally, spiritually and as a result of that physically (much before we were meant to) if we deny our cultural heritage because it is the foundation, the roots of the tree of our very existence.

Cultural Heritage is an expression of the ways of living developed by a community and passed on from generation to generation, including customs, practices, places, objects, artistic expressions, language, literature, values, scriptures and wisdom in all different forms.

If I don't accept, love and revere who I am as a human being, I will not have the understanding and wisdom to accept, love and revere the cultural heritage I am born into. If I don't accept, love and revere my own heritage that I am born into, I will not have the understanding and wisdom to accept, love and revere other communities and their heritage. How can there be love, peace and joy in such a world? 

Macro does not create the micro. Micro creates the macro. Who I am and who you are, what I do and what you do, is all that is needed to start a quiet revolution in the world to transform a business, a nation and, ultimately, what it means to be a human being; leading humanity to its next level of evolution and consciousness. Try complaining about and fighting with the macro instead of working on the micro (the person you see in the mirror), all you will get is frustration, angst and a lot of wasted time & effort because you will find that nothing much has changed. 

Wait, the malaise doesn't end here. If I don't accept, love and revere who I am as a human being and the culture I am born into; it also impacts my self-esteem and as an outcome of that, my productivity, efficiency, creativity and innovation. I get stuck in the monotony of Life with no access to unleash my inner greatness to make that big impact in the world for joyous fulfilling success and prosperity. 

You want to lead your business from good to great and make a huge difference in the world? The first, unfortunately invisible, step is to embrace who you are and that includes your cultural heritage and identity. In your owning yourself fully and coming home to yourself, you free your people to own themselves and come home to themselves. As you and your people stand tall in the joy of who each one of you is, your customers will find the freedom to own themselves and come home to themselves. In that way, you not only create greater profitability because of increased productivity and innovation because of the courage found only in truly owning who you are, you start a ripple effect to make a difference to your people, your country and the world.

You may say, there are religious and national fanatics who are causing destruction. They seem to have pride in their cultural heritage and use that as an excuse to create a havoc. The equation doesn't seem to fit in with the above logic. Let us dig deeper. The dictionary defines a fanatic as a person filled with excessive and single-minded zeal, especially for an extreme religious or political cause. I would add the following to this definition - "without excessive and single-minded zeal for one's own physical, emotional, intellectual / mental and spiritual growth". As long as the focus is changing the macro (the world outside) without transforming the micro (self); all we will get are fanatics and the mess that only the fanatics can cause. 

You may ask - Does that mean I need to follow all the customs, rituals and traditions that don't make sense to me? I will say understand the underlying science and if it doesn't connect with you, please don't do it because that spreads inauthenticity in the world. In the end, if what you are doing doesn't have you experience love, gratitude and reverence for yourself and for all beings, it is something that needs to be challenged. Not in others, but in your own self. Growth is an outcome of transforming who I am and not forcing others to change to fit into my world-view. 

Isaac Newton said that - If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulder of giants. Each generation progresses by standing on the achievements of the previous generation. How can India progress if we born in India don't own and embrace the achievements of Rabindranath Tagore, JRD Tata, Sri Aurobindo, Vivekananda, Mahatma Gandhi, Guru Nanak, Buddha, C V Raman, Homi J Bhabha, Ramanujan, Salim Ali, Deepak Chopra, Kiran Mazumdar, Sarojini Naidu, Amrita Sher-Gil, Kalpana Chawla, Robin Sharma, Deepak Parekh, Premchand and million others who have transformed our lives, in small or big measure? And, so it is for every other country in the world.

In a country where there is love, gratitude and reverence for its cultural heritage instead of starry-eyed admiration for the glitter in other countries (without that for one's own), let my people awake. In a planet where there is love, gratitude and reverence for oneself and for all living beings, let my fellow beings awake.

May you and I awaken to the inner Light that each one of us is born with to live the purpose of our journey this Lifetime through the businesses we run; families, communities and countries that we are a part of.

Love, Jyoti.
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How Fear Made me Grow?

25/9/2018

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I had to prioritize to pick up one task to do out of three on the list. I chose the one which was the toughest because I have seen what I resist the most gives me my greatest growth. Review your top 20% to see if you have chosen those tasks on the list that are uncomfortable and difficult. Chances are if they are not, your 80% impact may not come about; irrespective of Pareto's promise

If you are willing to have uncomfortable conversations, willing to be uncomfortable, willing to step out of your comfort zone, willing to go against your grain; the growth and freedom you will experience would be worth it. I travelled to USA for a training program to deepen my coaching skills. My usual style is to take copious notes, sit in the front row and ask the maximum questions. I took my coach's recommendation and dropped my usual style. In spite of having invested heavily for being at the program; I took no notes, managed to remain shut and sat somewhere in the middle. I came away with greater confidence in what I do instead of a notebook full of information, the secret joy of hearing my own voice and experiencing being significant. The self-awareness that I experienced as an outcome of choosing to act against my grain was the biggest gift of all, giving me 10 times the return on my investment. 

Growth happens only outside the comfort zone. In the comfort zone, we have been lulled to sleep by routines and habits that the brain creates to be energy efficient. That is surely a gift because we use less energy to go about our life, though it has a dark side to it. When we are reacting and responding to life in an automatic fashion because of energy efficient routines and habits, we lose self-awareness and opportunity to grow further. Awareness and present momentness is heightened when the environment (outside and inside us) is different from the usual. In response to the change in the environment, the 'biologically trained for survival' brain shifts into super-alert mode which brings about deep self-awareness and present momentness creating a space for INSIGHTS.

Insights involves gaining sudden knowledge of a possible solution to a problem without trial and error. They are also called Aha or Eureka Moments. They can also be experienced as a reflective 'That's funny'. Access to insights accelerates learning, growth and evolution. We access insights by integrating new knowledge, acquired through continual learning, with what we already know and through inquiry & reflection. 

As I sat there in the program, forcing myself to sit in the middle and not distract myself from getting present to what was within by taking notes or asking questions, I got present to so many fears hiding inside and insights that had me go 'Hmmm / That's funny / Aha / That's interesting / OMG'. Fear of being looked down upon. Needing people to look up to me. Needing people to admire me and give me attention to have me experience I am loved and wanted. Fear of being ignored. Fear of being rejected for not being good enough. That is why the neediness to be the best in whatever I did, that is why the yearning to be unconditional Love. Those are my dark truths I discovered in those few days, as I left the crutch of losing myself on the outside to hide from myself what was inside.

I crumbled when a mom, a local fellow participant, shouted at me as I stepped in closer to smile at her baby - Don't touch my baby! In that crumbling, I found my ugly truth. It wasn't racism in her but the racism in me that I got present to. I recognised how my nose-in-the-air and uber pride in my Indian heritage attracted the very thing to me that I was dumping on everything I saw in this foreign land. I remembered how I made everyone wash their hands before touching my first-born; stressfully paranoid about her well-being that made me insensitive about people around me, that I ended up hurting even people who loved me and I loved. The Universe always gives you back exactly what you give to the world. What you give is what you'll always receive. Newton did discover this secret when he declared his third law that every action has equal and opposite reaction. In our philosophy, we call it the law of the Karma. What you sow is exactly what you'll reap. And yet, in that instant, all I could experience was deep hurt and an almost unconscious reaction of making her wrong.

I ran away from my AirBnB in Los Angeles, where I was attending the training, at 10:30 pm on tip-toes because I had a visceral experience of fear in my body as I opened the door to step in to find the owner with 3 other men partying loudly in the lounge upstairs. I experienced fear in my body, though my stand for the world is Love. Some years before, I wouldn't have had the wisdom to honour what my body felt. That day I honoured the fear coursing through my body, I didn't stuff it under the carpet and pretend to be strong and brave when I didn't really feel strong and brave. I swallowed my pride and walked back to the hotel where I was attending the seminar to stay the night there. I knew fear attracts what fear fears. In that moment, I didn't have the strength to be Love and Childlike Trust and Faith. I was ashamed of it and yet that was the truth. 

I knew that I had to have a conversation with the gentleman from whose AirBnB I ran away from and tell him the truth. The very thought of that conversation killed me with painful embarrassment. Though I knew I had done the right thing by honouring what I felt viscerally and yet I knew I had wronged the gentleman by not trusting and I needed to own that up. Finally, from the airport on the way to San Francisco, I called him and apologised for running away and for not trusting him. All he said was he was sorry he didn't create a safe space for me to be comfortable. I felt complete and I sensed he felt complete too. 

That is what I always find - freedom beyond every uncomfortable conversation I am willing to have, freedom beyond every action I take to do what I resist and fear. In that trip, the wall disconnecting me from other human beings crumbled a bit more because I had done everything that was uncomfortable - borrowed money from dad at 44 when I had sworn at 16 years old never to take support from dad or from anyone else, hibernated a business that wasn't going in the direction I was inspired to take it to focus on the new business that filled me with passion, joyous inspiration and deep connection to my purpose of life, travelled alone beyond the cosy comfort of my home country, stayed in an AirBnB when staying at the hotel felt more safe, sat quietly instead of asking the most intelligent questions and taking copious notes. 

Back home, saw the limiting patterns I was caught up with my spouse and challenged them. Good wasn't good enough anymore. I wanted an even deeper relationship, I wanted the relationship to live up to the original promise of physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual growth instead of the insipidness and monotony of daily existence. It took enormous courage to challenge the most fundamental of my relationships without knowing where this would land me. So much of unsaid hurt and upset had got collected under the carpet that I was scared of calling it out in the fear of upsetting the boat, in the paper-ghost fear of 'I am not good enough, I am not worthy' hiding in the basement of my psyche. In that standing up to embrace the truth of my being; the wall between me and myself finally sighed, crumbled and fell apart. The wheels of our relationship are beginning to turn a little differently. I have known the Universe to fulfil all our intentions and realise all our dreams only if we are willing to fully trust and accept with gratitude all that she gives us as her gifts for our growth because almost all the times, we have to become bigger than who we are to have the strength to fulfil our intentions and realise our greatest dreams in deepest communion with our highest self.

​I acknowledge the shame of all my fears, neediness and yearning; and in that acknowledgement, embrace all of them. The embrace has finally started to feel authentic. I am willing to hold the embrace for as long as I feel the resistance. I have driven at night number of times in Delhi and Gurgaon on account of volunteering my time to assist in various programs and seminars that have contributed to me. I was always present to the fear lurking inside of what may go wrong. I drove fighting that fear, gulping it down. The other day I drove at night to meet my sister who had flown on a last minute decision to Delhi from Calcutta to attend an Army conference. I drove in such freedom that I had never known before, with an experience of a deep connection with fellow human beings. I knew in that moment that the wall inside me had fully crumbled and vanished. And, it was my task to do all that it took to stop that wall from building ever again and in that create a space for fellow beings to walk the path to come home to themselves.

A great business, personal mastery, a life that impacts all of humanity, loving harmonious relationships, happy responsible kids with their inner genius fully expressed are the outcomes built on the foundation of coming home to oneself. Have I reached? All I can say is that I am a work-in-progress, totally inspired by the ideals I talk and write about, hoping to live all of these ideals by the time my work is done this lifetime.

Wishing you the joy, fulfilment and freedom of the journey.

Love,
Jyoti.
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How can we Contribute when our Society is held Hostage to Negativity?

19/9/2018

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There's an outrage whenever an injustice shows its head in the public domain. Media - print, television, social - add fuel to the fire and suddenly everywhere we have indignation, anger, upset, sadness, righteousness in all of us. Experiments have proven that when the body has negative emotions, then the brain shuts down. That means, we have no access to innovation, creativity and out-of-the-box thinking to solve something which is obviously a problem, at the time we need it the most.

Let me define what a solution is - It is a construct which
a. increases love, compassion and reverence in the environment
b. starts the work to solve the issue at the source, not at the surface
c. makes people more connected with each other

Look at a social problem as a business problem and suddenly, we have access. When we have a business problem that reduces productivity, performance and effectiveness; what do we do. We put on our creative, thinking hats and do process innovation. Do we wait for the CEO to do the process innovation? 

Maybe that is where the problem is that we keep waiting for the government or someone else to solve the problem instead of experiencing any power within to solve the condition we spend hours complaining about or completely ignoring.

If you are in a developing country, running away to a developed nation is not the solution as the problems of your mother country still remain in your consciousness. You heal the problems in your consciousness only by being a part of the solution. 

If you are in a developed country, putting your head in the sand as the proverbial ostrich doesn't serve you either because what ails your country ails you too, even though it may not seem to at the surface. 

Making ourselves unconscious of what limitations and negativity surrounds us, unconsciously limits us and drains our power to live at the highest level of who we are meant to be. Complaining about what is not working around us only increases what does not work within us; and can only lead to disharmony and lack of joyous fulfilment.

I came across this poem that hit hard:

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My Dying Conscience by Rashmi Trivedi

Sometimes in the dark of the night 
I visit my conscience  
To see if  it is still breathing 
For its dying a slow death
Every day.

When I pay for a meal in a fancy place 
An amount which is perhaps the monthly income 
Of the guard who holds the door open
And quickly I shrug away that thought
It dies a little. 

When I buy vegetables from the vendor 
And his son "chhotu" smilingly weighs the potatoes 
Chhotu, a small child, who should be studying at school 
I look the other way
It dies a little.

When I am decked up in a designer dress
A dress that cost a bomb 
And I see a woman at the crossing
In tatters, trying unsuccessfully to save her dignity 
And I immediately  roll up my window
It dies a little. 

When I buy expensive gifts for my children 
On return, I see half clad children 
With empty stomach and hungry eyes 
Selling toys at red light 
I try to salve my conscience by buying some, yet
It dies a little. 

When my sick  maid sends her daughter to work 
Making her bunk school 
I know I should tell her to go back 
But I look at the loaded sink and dirty dishes 
And I tell myself that is just for a couple of days 
It dies a little. 

When I hear about a rape
or a murder of a child,
I feel sad, yet a little thankful that it's not my child
I can not  look at myself  in the mirror
It dies a little. 

When people fight over caste, creed and religion
I feel hurt and helpless
I tell  myself that my country is going to the dogs
I blame the corrupt politicians 
Absolving myself of all responsibilities 
It dies a little. 

When my city is choked
Breathing is dangerous  in the smog ridden metropolis
I take my car to work daily 
Not taking  the metro, not trying car pool 
One car won't make a difference, I think 
It dies a little. 

So when in the dark of the night
I visit my conscience 
And find it still breathing 
I am surprised 
For, with my own hands 
Daily, bit by bit, I kill it, I bury it.

______________________________________________________________________________

Ignoring the problems around us kills us slowly from the inside. Complaining about the problems reduce our power to fulfil our intentions and realise our dreams. And, yet there's another way, the way of a Peaceful Warrior.

Here's what you and I can do:


1. Shift our Energy State:

Based on Dr Hawkins’ research of 29 years as published in The Power of Intention by Dr Wayne Dyer - 

a. One individual who lives and vibrates to the energy of optimism and a willingness to be non-judgmental of others will counter-balance the negativity of 90,000 individuals who calibrate at the lower weakening levels. 

b. One individual who lives and vibrates to the energy of pure love and reverence for all of life will counter-balance the negativity of 750,000 individuals who calibrate at the lower weakening levels. 

A negative energy state shuts down our creativity and innovativeness. In such a state, we cannot create powerful, effective solutions. Counter-intuitively, what helps in a limiting situation that upsets us is not to get upset and instead create tranquility, equanimity, love and reverence within.

Yes, I hear you when you say easier said than done. It is easier said than done because this requires a massive shift in our consciousness by dropping limiting habits across the 4 bodies (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual) of our Being and adopting growth habits. I call this Leadership Depth. This is how you become a great leader, at work and at home.

Funny thing is we all know what are the limiting habits that we allow to reside in us and what are the growth habits that will speed us forward to the fulfilment of our purpose of life. Though, we are not inspired to take action. Let the knowledge, that when we shift on the inside, the world outside will shift, give us the inspiration. The world outside begins with our children. What limiting habits we are not able to drop, our children will inherit in terms of lethargy of the body, limiting thoughts and emotions and the consequent diseases. Why would we want to pass that on to our children?

The wealth that we are speeding to create for them will not stop the diseases, limiting thoughts and emotions from being transmitted to them. If we really love our children, let us leave a legacy of world class habits by inculcating them in ourselves that will transform the environment around us. Our kids will benefit not only by inheriting world class habits but also by a much more joyous environment around them.

Here are some growth habits we can consider adopting:
a. Stopping to give way to the pedestrians, accepting that the roads belong to them and not to the cars that are zooming past. I learnt this habit from Dubai, where to my happy surprise, a car stopped for me to cross the street though there was no traffic signal and it was the only car. The driver needn't have stopped for me but it did and warmed my heart as the driver smilingly waved at me to cross.

b. Smile genuinely at everyone, even at strangers. It was scary, at first, because of the instinctual fear at the core of who we are. Though, this habit fills my heart like nothing else to see the face of another human being transform dramatically and light up with a beautiful giving and receiving of authentic human connection. I especially love wishing, looking into the eyes and smiling at those who are habituated to being ignored - waiters at the restaurants, guards at our condominiums and malls, helpers at cinema halls and airports, housekeeping staff.  

Having been a coach and a student of what creates greatness in a human being, my observation is that there is such a strong wall of resentment and fear between men and women in the world. Though, if you scratch the surface, all you will really find is fear of not being loved, not being worthy and a deep yearning to make a difference.

c. Give away 10% of your salary or 1% of your income to charity. Even in the lean years of my business, I followed this principle. It left me with such a peaceful sense of abundance that I hardly felt the scarcity or lack.

Yes, there are tons of more habits to make yourself beautiful and feel centred. Study the people who inspire you, people who contributed massively through their work and their lives and you will unearth a treasure trove of growth habits that will make your heart sing and feet dance all the way to what is the highest in you.


2. Find the Source Within

For every ill outside, I find it effective to find the source within by looking in the mirror and working on that.

Nobody follows traffic rules in the country. I ensure I wait at every red signal even if there is no traffic and it's pretty late in the night. I wear my seat belt. I don't use my mobile while driving. My children are watching me, even if nobody else is. I am watching myself even if kids are not in the car.

There is so much poverty all around. I support my 12 hours home support staff to find a job as I need someone for 24 hours. I use my day off to help her get a bank account even though she will not be working with me anymore.

There is so much pollution around. I get the children to walk back home instead of picking them up in the car. 

3. Action on a Daily Basis 

I was unconscious before. I worked on myself to become conscious of the fact that I am responsible for all that happens in my space. I continue the work on myself to take one tiny action at a time. It may not cause a revolution in the world but I know it makes a difference. It makes a difference to me. I come home to myself with every tiny action that I take. It feels good, I feel rested and embraced in the love and joy that is all around me.

Wishing you the joy of pulling the thick dark curtain down between you and your light.

Love,
Jyoti.

Acknowledgements: Rashmi Trivedi, author from India and Chief Manager with Indian Oil Corporation. Thank you for beautifully capturing our collective conscience through your poem, Rashmi. More power to you to keep making a difference. 

Hat Tip to: Akash Gandhi who shared the poem with us in our college whatsapp group. Thank you, Akash for providing inspiration for this article.
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Why Doing Something for Itself is What will Bring You Home?

13/9/2018

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There are two boys - Ram and Shyam. Ram loves studying and learning, enjoys the understanding he experiences of the world around him, has a sense of wonderment and joyous curiosity about all that he is learning, an awe for new things he discovers through the process of studying all the different subjects at school, each subject a window into a whole new world. Studying and learning is the end in itself for him. His total attention is in the moment; his whole Being fills up with intent, focus, joy and passion while he is studying.  

Shyam loves studying and learning, he wants to come first so that he can get into the best college, get the best job for the best salary to take care of his aging parents and his kids when they are born, so that he can live the lifestyle he is used to living and even better it, so that he can give a break to his elder sister, who is supporting the household, to discover her passions.

Who do you think is living with greater joy and grace? Who do you think will create greater success and wealth? Who do you think will make a bigger difference to his family, communities, country and the world? Who do you think will be more happy, at greater peace with himself and the world, and more deeply fulfilled. And, why?

Shyam may get into a better college, get a better job, have more money in the short-term; though he will end up with an empty heart, if he finds time from his busy life to look into his eyes in the mirror.

I know it because I lived with Shyam consciousness up until 2010, tons of money in the bank, designation to show-off to the world, shiny cars, large beautiful condominium and a job that had begun to have no meaning along with everything else; though I began working with so much passion and enthusiasm. I studied to come first to get appreciation and approval of my dad, became a Vice-President with speed to bask in my father's pride and external applause from my family, friends & colleagues. I speeded for 36 years like this doing something to get something else; and then, I could not live with Shyam consciousness anymore, could not bear the heavy thud of my hollow heart, could not understand though I had everything I wanted including my dream job; and yet why it didn't fulfil. I stepped out of the corporate world in search of myself; did massive amount of inner work to figure my purpose, my meaning, my raison d'être and ended up as a coach to journey with people to come home to themselves.

I thought I did everything that I wanted. Now, I realise I did everything I wanted by clamping down and fighting the inner demon, the shameful secret fear in the basement of my psyche that kept telling me - I am not enough, I am not worthy, that something outside of me will make me enough, that something outside of me will make me worthy. I did everything that I wanted not from freedom; but from guilt, from the spirit of a Fighter, from the sense of rebelliousness, fighting the world outside instead of the demons inside. I drove on the roads of Delhi at night, dropped my corporate job, built my first business, over-functioned in my relationship with my spouse, emotionally cocooned myself in my relationship with my kids with an air of bravado, a pretence of being bigger and having more courage than what I really felt inside.

What got me to where I am is because I kept walking the path of inner growth, seeking out books, coaches and programs for personal growth and development while I re-built my life, personally and professionally. Somewhere along the journey, the wall finally broke connecting me to the Peaceful Warrior within, turning inside to fight my fears instead of fighting their reflections in the world outside.

Today I study even more massively than before, though no longer for any awards or recognition. I have studied and learnt more in the last 8 years and with so much more joy and passion than in the 36 years before; though the 36 years includes 12 years of school education, 4 years for an engineering degree, 2 years for an MBA and years of on-the-job studying & learning. The study that I do now is not even visible to others. It is for my own personal journey towards mastering my craft of coaching. I feel centred with Ram consciousness, experiencing the pure joy and deep fulfilment of learning, growing and evolving for the sake of the pure joy and deep fulfilment of learning, growing and evolving.

Doing something for itself and not for anything else. 

Learning for the joy of learning, not because of the certificate you will get or a promotion that may follow. Working for the joy of working, not because you will get a salary or higher income for it. Connecting with another for the joy of a conversation and fulfilment of having made a difference, not because a sale may end up happening or another agenda may get fulfilled.

Why? Because when you do something for the sake of getting something else, you don't really enjoy what you are doing. The impact of not enjoying what we do is that it reduces our creativity, innovativeness, productivity, performance and effectiveness. You may create a good outcome, though not a great one. You may create a good business, though not a great business. You may create a good life, though not a great life.

Unfortunately, our rewards and incentive culture teaches us to do something for something else very early on in life. Drawing from hundreds of studies, Alfie Kohn demonstrates that people actually do inferior work when they are enticed with money, grades, or other incentives. Programs that use rewards to change people’s behavior are similarly ineffective over the long run. Promising goodies to children for good behavior can never produce anything more than temporary obedience. In fact, the more we use artificial inducements to motivate people, the more they lose interest in what we’re bribing them to do. Rewards turn play into work, and work into drudgery.

That is why it is important to not let financial independence or wealth creation be the end goal for your business. It will soon turn what you are passionate about into drudgery. Run your business for the joy of craft mastery (learning to be the master of your craft for the sake of learning to be the master of your craft), business excellence (to be of service to your customer community for the sake of making a difference to them and contributing to their lives)  and leadership depth (to rise from evolutionary fear to transcendent love) instead of for wealth creation. In shifting this focus, you will create not only more impact but more wealth than you could have ever imagined.

Wishing you the joy of the journey to come home to yourself.

Love, Jyoti.

References:
Punished by Rewards by Alfie Kohn 
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Are you in Perfect Health and at the Highest Level of Fitness?

11/9/2018

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Are you in perfect health and at the greatest level of fitness? Why does it really matter? Why is good not good enough? Why work so hard to create the highest levels of fitness? One is sauntering along Life, why give up the easy life to take on the additional pressure of one more burdensome responsibility - to create perfect health?

Valid questions. Let's journey together for the next few minutes to together inquire into all of these questions and many more that pop up as we move forward. Questions are like that, they have a tendency to simply pop up like jack-in-the-box. The power of questions is that they make us stop and step out of the speeding train of Life to reflect on what is our own truth. There's another word for that, it's called smelling the roses. Growth happens in those moments; such growth that we may change the direction of the train, even change the train itself. That change is deeply joyous and fulfilling because there's a visceral experience of coming closer to home.

The first thing to understand is that we have not one but four bodies that we are born with - physical body, emotional body, mental / intellectual body and spiritual body. Our physical body is the only house that we truly have this lifetime which is home for our other 3 bodies. 

The 4 bodies together form the Being of the Human Being. The Being is the vehicle for the fulfilment of our highest purpose of being born on this planet. We absolutely have the choice to live a zombie-like existence and unconsciously spend all our breaths lost in the melodrama of life before the physical body disintegrates and a fresh new adventure starts. 

Yet, we can make another choice - to live consciously, with full awareness moment by moment, living purposefully, walking definitely with joyous certainty that this is the path, this is the journey. To have the ability to make this choice, we need all our 4 bodies to be in perfect health and well-being and at the highest levels of refreshing, rejuvenating, energising, exhilarating fitness.

Let's look at how we can assess the health of each of these 4 bodies. Answer the questions below by rating yourself from 0 to 10 on a scale of 10, where 0 means totally unhealthy and 10 means perfect health, well-being and the highest level of fitness.

1. Physical Body: How healthy am I? How much joyous energy I have, to do all that I want to do?

2. Mental Body: How well can I focus? How well can I learn across a spectrum of subjects to integrate that understanding to what I already know to create a bigger impact through the work I do? How much clarity I have to know what my 20% is which will give me 80% of the outcomes I am committed to create so that I have an abundance of time to do all that I want to do? How centred am I? To what degree can I feel the soothing Stillness within me? How well can I hear my authentic inner voice in the tranquil Silence inside me? How well do I respond to everyone and everything with equanimity?

3. Emotional Body: How happy am I? How connected am I in vulnerable authenticity to my own self and to all beings around me? How much courage I have to acknowledge, to myself and to others, each emotion that arises within me? How much wisdom I have to know that the source of each emotion that arises within me is me; that the others and the circumstances are merely triggers to open up the box inside me which hold all these emotions? How much understanding I have to know that the only way to let the emotions leave me is by allowing their full expression by giving myself the permission to fully feel them instead of pushing them under the carpet and putting up a show of bravado for the world?

4. Spiritual Body: Why am I doing all that I am doing? What is my purpose? Are my actions and responses sourced in fear; or are they sourced in compassionate love for myself and for others? Am I compassionate love, kindness and reverence; moment by moment? Do all beings experience my compassionate love, kindness and reverence for them? How well can I see, that what all is happening in the world is only a reflection of who I am being inside of me?

If you are less than 10 on any of the above questions, you have your task laid out for you. You would be less than 10 in any body because you are being held hostage to limiting habits in that body. You will be 10 in each body if you have with commitment, dedication, discipline, passion, will-power and with a powerful structure of success dropped your Limiting Habits and replaced them with Growth Habits.

Lets dive deeper. We, as humans, are nothing but a sum total of our habits. They are our automatic ways of responding to what's happening in the environment.

From The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg,

"Habits, scientists say, emerge because the brain is constantly looking for ways to save effort. Left to its own devices, the brain will try to make almost any routine into a habit, because habits allow our minds to ramp down more often."

So, over a period of time, all we become is a mass of habits which create similar outcomes. If we are looking at creating different outcomes in our life, professionally and personally; like higher productivity, efficiency and performance and greater innovation and creativity; we have to step back to become aware of our default habits and work towards replacing them with new habits that support us to fulfil our highest intentions and realise our greatest dreams.

There are not only default limiting individual habits but also organisational habits (of a particular organization) and social habits (of a particular society). These need to be studied deliberately, consciously to bring them and their impact in full awareness. Only then, can we take action to re-create and assimilate growth habits to lead ourselves, our business and our society / country from good to great.

What does all this mean in context to the 4 bodies? How do we turn up the health and fitness knob to 10 for each body?

1. Physical Body - If tiredness, exhaustion, loss of energy, discomfort, physical pain or dis-ease shows up (it usually does in that order); it is time to thank the Universe for the wake-up call. There are 2 ways of growth - through pain and loss, or through insights. Pain and loss is always a signal for personal growth that we have been turning a blind eye to. At this point, we can push the pain and loss under the carpet and bring out our swords to fight the world. Not a great idea though.

There's another way - that of the Peaceful Warrior - who looks for the gift in the loss and pain. Note that the physical body is only a house for the other 3 bodies and if anything shows up on the physical body, it is because one of the three bodies it is housing is bleeding. So, to be in perfect health, well-being and at the highest level of fitness in the physical body, we need our other 3 bodies to be in perfect health, well-being and at the highest level of fitness.

Here's how to bring the physical body to a 10 on 10:
a. Learn the science of how food impacts your body through the ancient Indian science of Ayurved. I am struck by this question raised by a westerner - Why is the impact on our health of what we eat is not studied by modern medical science?

As per Ayurveda, humans have 3 body types and the food that is best suited for you is determined by the type of body you have. Use the food you eat and how you eat it support you towards health and well-being. Is it at all exciting to be making the rounds of the inhospitable hospitals, smelling of despair and death? How about creating such fitness levels that going there is not a part of our schedule? Art of Living offers a 3-day Health through Ayurveda program. It just turns one's understanding of food and eating on its head. I loved the program.

It would also be effective to study Naturopathy as well to bring in the learnings into our daily life.

Infact, massive research has been done in the West as well to understand the relationship between food and health. Unfortunately, all the research outcomes have been shoved under the carpet because of the staggering economic impact on the food, pharmaceutical and healthcare industries if we start understanding and eating food that naturally maintains our health and well-being till our very last breath.


Here are two books which make these research outcomes available to all of us. Click the links to read the summary and if that inspires you, read the books and implement the learnings in your life to elevate your health and vitality:

i. The China Study by T. Colin Campbell

ii. How Not to Die (prematurely) by Dr Michael Greger

b. Yoga - This is an ancient science of asana (specific postures) and pranayam (breathing exercises). This is the only exercise regimen that I know that integrates work at all the 4 bodies - mind, body, emotions, spirit. We will discuss Martial Arts in a little while too.

I have been practising Yoga for nearly 20 years though consistency of practise has only come about now. All that I can tell you is that it is such a beautiful experience to feel the stiffness of the body melt away as you move from asan to asan. 

The secret of the consistency in my practise is my Yoga Coach, who comes like a clockwork and leads me forward from easier to tougher asanas to support flexibility and agility of the physical body. As the physical body becomes more flexible and agile, the mental and emotional body becomes more flexible and agile. I have become wiser to no longer offer excuses of having slept late, sickness, tiredness as reasons for not doing my practise because I have come to realise that Yoga actually supports to ease away tiredness, sickness and lack of sleep.    

I do Yoga 6 times a week for an hour. Without it, it feels like I haven't brushed my teeth. I am contemplating yanking it up to daily which means for that one day (when my coach takes his weekly off), I would need raised energy levels and commitment to do it on my own. That's the next level of growth though I recognise my asanas wouldn't have progressed towards perfection (and the work continues) if it wasn't for my teacher showing me how I needed to improve. On my own, I wouldn't have figured.

c. Martial Arts - While Yoga grows you through the slowness of the practise, martial arts grow you through speed. And, you need both kinds of growth. I recently started Karate along with my kids. We love jumping around, kicking and punching together. Thanks to Yoga, I have more flexibility than my kids at 44 which is supporting me in Karate. Where I lack is the enormous stamina that Karate needs and builds you up for. My Karate coach's super coach is a 73 years old Black Belt Dan 10 (the highest level). That gives me hope and inspiration :-)

The increase in my strength and stamina that I experienced as an outcome of learning Karate is helping me enormously on the golf course.

d. Sports - There are two ways of playing sports. The first is for fun and the second is playing for excellence. When you make the latter your intention, the first also gets covered.

My recommendation is to make the 2nd your intention and involve your family in the whole process. In fact, what would create velocity and magic in your journey towards perfect health, well-being and highest levels of fitness is if you make your family and your organization partners in your adventure.

When you make excellence the intention of the sports that you choose to take on, all the four bodies benefit and grow as an outcome. You not only then have to make physical fitness as your articulated intention but also have to bring in focus, attention, love, passion, purpose into the game. The game becomes the practise ground for leadership growth because when you learn to become a container for focus, attention, love, passion, purpose on the playground; that container stays with you and shows up in all areas of your life giving you outcomes you would have only dreamed of before.

Leadership Depth is really an outcome of all your 4 bodies being in perfect health, well-being and at the greatest level of fitness. The Universe uses loss and pain to wake us up towards greater Leadership Depth; if we don't make the choice to wake ourselves to live with moment-by-moment awareness to grow consciously across all the 4 bodies our Being.

e. Get yourself a family doctor who is preferably from AYUSH (Ayurved, Yog & Naturopathy, Unani, Siddha, Homeopathy): A family doctor has a relationship with your family, a commitment for your family's well-being & health and time to fully hear & understand you; unlike most doctors in spanking new hospitals who come in your life for a transaction and move out again. 

Don't get me wrong. I have deep respect for Modern Medical Science and its stupendous diagnostic power. Our family doctor (who is a homeopath) leverages the diagnostic reports to fine-tune his medication. A big challenge with modern medicine is that they come with huge side-effects, unlike its authentic AYUSH counter-parts. Though, have the wisdom to reach out to your allopathic doctor when the need arises. The idea is to integrate all the knowledge available for our health.

My vision is that fundamentals of AYUSH are taught in medical colleges in the MBBS undergraduate program with each of the five ayush healing methodologies available as post-graduate programs alongside surgery, radiology, pathology etc. and hospitals become integrated centres for wellness to support people to stay healthy rather than step in only to cure once sickness has already taken root. If Indian Tobacco Company can become ITC and progressively reduce its dependency on cigarettes for its growth by successfully diversifying into food, fashion, hotels etc; the day is not far off when hospitals also awaken to the need to be integrated centres for health and healing.  

2. Mental / Intellectual Body - Here's how you create health and fitness in your mental body:

a. Read atleast one book a month, if not one book a week which I would recommend to anyone committed to massive growth. For maximum benefit, read books that you don't normally read, that are tough for you. Ensure you are reading across a wide cross-section of books related to personal mastery (leadership depth), business excellence, craft mastery, biographies of people who inspire you, fiction, literature.

b. Work with a coach who will send you on regular inquiries through socratic discussions and mess up with your mind by getting right inside your thinking. That would support you to become hugely aware about your own human design, your blind spots and massive insights that will accelerate you forward by simply slowing you down.

I love my conversations with my coach, Clarence Thomson. I love my Aha, Hmmm, That's funny, Gosh, OMG moments. I love that I get the space to really be authentically myself and can show up with all of me, without my armours and masks. I love that relaxing sigh of having totally emptied out.

c. Get present to your limiting thought patterns and consciously work towards letting those thoughts to drop away. Your coach will work with you on this.

My favourite books for growing the mental intellectual body are -
i. Loving What Is (Four Questions that can Change Your Life) by Byron Katie

ii. You can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay - a great book on limiting thought patterns and their impact on the physical body.
iii. The Four Agreements
(A Toltec Wisdom Book) by Don Miguel Ruiz 

A great system for uncovering your blind spots and defining your growth strategy is Enneagram.
Here's an article for the details on this - Breaking Free from the Box 

d. Exercising, sports, yog, martial arts are all great ways to keep the lethargy away from the mind.

e. Have your mastermind group to constantly challenge you to be bigger than who you are. Remember you are an average of 5 people you hang around the most. Judiciously decide on your mastermind group.

3. Emotional Body - The only work that I know of, that works exclusively for the health and well-being of the emotional body, is by Brandon Bays. She healed her basket-ball sized tumour naturally by accessing the hidden emotions at the source of it and releasing them by giving herself the permission to fully experience them instead of denying her emotions. Her guruji is from Lucknow, India from Ramana Maharishi's lineage. 

I did a one-year program called the Journey Practitioner with her and her team; through which she teaches the process that supported her to heal her tumour naturally. It was only towards the end of the year that I finally accessed my emotional body pushed so deep under the carpet by years of being a Vice-President, Director etc.

It was interesting that I heard her say Namaste more times in 10 days than I had heard in the entire year before inspite of living in India. I, oftentimes, wonder at the loss that we have allowed ourselves in India to experience at not really claiming our vast, deep, rich heritage to humanity as our own and living from there.


Here's her book to guide you further on this - The Journey by Brandon Bays. She brings her work to India in partnership with Dr Rangana Rupavi Choudhuri, who herself is based out of London.

I integrate this process in my own work as a coach. It is always beautiful to see, feel, hear, experience, support people to access their pain of being a human being and letting it drop off to authentically connect with themselves.

For more scientific understanding of the relationship of emotions and thoughts to physical health, read Molecules of Emotions (The Science behind Mind-Body Medicine) by Candace B. Pert.

A book that finally pushed me to break the wall between me and myself is Real by Catherine and Duane O'Kane. Here's a quick overview of the book for you to inspire you to read the book for yourself - Real (The Power of Authentic Connection)

4. Spiritual Body - After exploring many meditation techniques, I finally came home to Vipassana. Vipassana, which means to see things as they really are, is one of India's most ancient techniques of meditation. It was re-discovered by Gautam Buddha more than 2500 years ago and was taught by him as a way to connect with your highest self.

Vipassana is a way of self-transformation through self-observation. It focuses on the deep interconnection between mind and body. It is this observation-based, self-exploratory journey to the common root of mind and body that dissolves limiting emotions and thoughts, resulting in a balanced mind full of love and compassion.
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The technique was brought back to India from Myanmar by Shri S N Goenka, a wealthy businessman of Indian origin. He learned the technique to heal himself of physical ailments that modern medical science even from the western world could not give him relief from.

It is taught in a 10-day Silence Retreat in monasteries, where you live like a monk for the duration of the program. What led me to it was zero hype about any Guru. When I landed at the rustic Rohtak monastery for my program, I was brimming over with curiosity about the Guruji who is teaching this meditation. There were no idols or pictures decorated with garland of flowers to satiate my curiosity. Only at the end of the first day, I found out about Shri Goenka though he didn't call himself a Guruji but merely a teacher of the technique. He has passed over. The program is run in numerous locations in India and around the world by assistant teachers through his video recordings. I was blown away by his simplicity, intellectual depth and deep understanding of Life; that totally connected with my own understanding so far. I love the total focus on self-transformation through self-observation without using any chant, image, mantra as a crutch. 

As recommended, I meditate twice a day for an hour each and I intend going back once a year for the 10-day program for re-immersion. The practise, more consistent now than a year ago, has had amazing results for me. The chattering monkey mind has slowed down, I experience greater equanimity than before, my anger has come down dramatically,  and I have had breakthrough ideas during meditation that have resulted in huge business and personal growth I could not have created without those ideas. I also experience greater focus, the clarity to choose the 20% for 80% results,  and a visceral experience of love and compassion for all beings.

Though, what I have to share is that these results came in because of my work on the other 3 bodies that had me ready for Vipassana and give me the strength to plough through meditation everyday. I am certain even 2 years ago, I wasn't ready for Vipassana.

In Conclusion

If you are not in perfect health, well-being and at the highest levels of fitness; now you know what you need to do to reach there.

I find that integrating work on all the 4 bodies as above helps me to support my clients grow professionally and personally, lead their businesses from good to great while having it all - deeply fulfilling career, loving harmonious relationships at work and at home, happy responsible kids with their genius joyfully expressed, nourishing nurturing me-time and making a difference in the world.

Inviting you to start the journey to come home to yourself to live your purpose and experience  joyous, equanimous fulfilment.

With a deep Namaste (which means from the Light in me to the Light in you).


Love, Jyoti.

Further Recommended Reading:

1. How to Lead your Organization to Success

2. What has Spirituality got to do with Business

3. From High Performance to Super Performance

​4. How to Build a Successful Business - An interview with a Gear 5 Leader

5. How to Lead your Organization from Good to Great

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How to Choose Wisely?

3/9/2018

0 Comments

 
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An ex-client reached out for support in deciding between settling abroad or staying in the country. A client wanted to decide between a corporate job or starting out on her own. Another wanted to figure out between taking a break from work to explore his passions or continuing to work. We are inundated with choices throughout our lives and on a daily basis. It seems the choice we make determines what kind of life we'll have. That puts in an inordinately high amount of pressure on making the right choice that has us so confused that we are stuck in analysis paralysis and find ourselves with no energy to take the actions because all the energy has been spent figuring out what choice to make. Then we have no outcomes, there is no progress, no sense of fulfilment because there were no actions. 

In fact, even what seems like minor choices; like which book to read, choosing screen over reading, choosing to smoke over sitting in the anxiety and discomfort of not choosing etc; have significantly high impact on the direction our lives take.

How do we choose wisely, how do we make choices that support us towards growth which, if we slow down and reflect, is the only doorway to sustainable happiness? Put this assertion to test right now. When did you last feel a sense of happiness? I am not talking about a general sense of 'life is good' but an authentic visceral experience of joyous happiness. In which body (physical / intellectual / emotional / spiritual) of your Being had you experienced growth that you can link that experience to?

Taking the reflection a level deeper, we will realise that ultimately all that we are doing moment to moment is making a choice - choosing a specific thought, a specific emotion, a specific action over other thoughts, emotions and actions. Progress would be when we are able to choose consciously over choosing unconsciously. 

Most times, we are making choices giving ourselves very logical reasons for making the choice though the choice is actually an emotional one with our hidden fears and intentions as the driver. Progress would be to be aware of the emotional reasons and the hidden fears & intentions that are driving us to make the decisions that we are making. When there is self-awareness and the inner power to choose consciously, then we will find ourselves making choices that are wise because they are effective, make more time available to us to do things that really matter and support our growth towards our highest version of ourselves.

Here is the structure that you can use to reach such a state and consciously make powerful choices:

1. Figure out your purpose of life, your personal inner commitment and your highest values as the place to start from.  This is your Pole Star.

Once you can clearly see your Pole Star, you will begin to make choices that are effective and have the wisdom to lead you forward in the direction that serves you and those you are responsible for the most.

2. Discover your hidden fears, and unconscious self-sabotaging beliefs & intentions. It is our human design to have them. Having the self-awareness to recognise what they are and the courage to acknowledge them to yourself and to others gives you the power to create your greatest life.

3. Once you discover what you fear, what you resist, what you know would serve you and yet you don't want to do that; do exactly what you fear, what you resist, what you know would serve you and yet you don't want to do that. 

This conscious battling with your inner demons removes the curtain between you and your inner wisdom, your intuition, your inner guide. As the inner demons lose power, you will have a visceral experience in your body as to which choice to make. 

You will pick up a book and you will know whether it is the right book to read. You will review a growth program and you will be able to feel it in your body if it will serve you. You will have an inner knowing whether staying in the country is what would support you or leaving the country. You will know whether it is the right moment to drop your job and start your own business.

The funny thing is that most times you will find yourself making choices that seem counter-intuitive and will have people in your life question you. There will be such deep clarity and knowingness that doubt will find no place to rest in your body.

4. Your inner demons are really default limiting physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual habits. Be bigger than who you are right now to cultivate world-class growth habits across the four bodies (physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual) of your Being. Without that your inner demons will win the battle every time.

5. As you make any choice, be in the inquiry of its wisdom by asking yourself the following questions:
i. How does this choice feel in my body? Do I feel a surge of energy or a sinking feeling in my stomach?
ii. What is my emotion when I am considering making this choice? Does it fill me up with joy or with the emptiness of excitement? Learn to distinguish between authentic joyous happiness and excitement, which is nothing but fear in disguise.
iii. Do I have clarity and focus while I am considering making this choice? Is my mind still or is it racing in 1000 different directions? 
iv. Is my choice sourced in love or is it sourced in fear? Will it serve my family, my organisation, my customer community, my country or will it just serve me?
v. How will this choice support me to fulfil on my purpose of life?
vi. How is my choice an expression of my personal inner commitment?
vii. How will my choice support me to live my highest values?
viii. What are my articulated intentions? Does this choice support or come in the way of my articulated intentions?
ix. What will be the impact of making this choice? Will I end up breaking any word to myself or others if make this choice?
x. Does this choice support my growth towards personal mastery or will it impede it?

Somewhere during this inquiry, you will get an inner knowing of the perfect choice for you. Once you know the perfect choice, take immediate action to implement the choice for maximum benefit.

If things don't turn out the way you envisioned and more often than not, it will be the case; guard yourself against regret and self-criticism because that comes in the way of actually benefiting from the choice you made. Sometimes, the pain associated with having made the specific choice is the gift that you need the most to move forward. Accept it with grace, learn from it and use the learnings to create an even greater life.

Love, Jyoti.
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How do we Benefit when We and Our Kids Learn to Love our Mother Tongue?

3/9/2018

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My kids are in Grade 7 and Grade 4. My younger one just started with his exams. Their half-yearly exams are underway at the moment. The subject that they both run away from and struggle the most with is Hindi. Considering my husband is from Himachal and I am from Punjab, Hindi becomes my kids' primary mother tongue followed by Punjabi and Himachali / Pahari. 

As I began to reflect on how my kids were struggling with their primary mother language and began wondering how could I support them, it struck me I didn't know how to read and write in Punjabi and that my fellow Punjabis will probably laugh at my spoken language. I further recognised that I had lost touch with Hindi myself.

So began my journey to re-discover my heritage so that my children can grow taller because they have stronger roots. Without owning our roots, we are unlikely to reach our maximum growth because nourishment only reaches through the roots.

I told my kids that I will speak to them in Hindi at home. Yesterday was the first evening and there was a laughter riot as I searched for Hindi alternatives for common words. I lost so many ice-creams to them that in the end they stopped counting how many English words were creeping into my Hindi monologue. I am not the kind to give up easily. I intend to google my way up to Hindi mastery.

If I decide something, I never waste much time to implement the idea with maximum energy. Sending love to Jeff Bezos because thanks to Amazon, I have Premchand, Rabindranath Tagore, Satyajit Ray and Harivansh Rai Bachchan on the way home. Bedtime stories for my kids in perfect hindi most beautifully sculpted by the masters of the language. 

I am super excited about my new project. To confess, more than the kids who have already extracted a promise from me to behave and talk normally in front of their friends :-) My mind is racing ahead and another project is already taking shape - to learn Punjabi and connect my kids to 50% of their heritage. I trust I will have inspired my spouse enough to immerse in his Himachali heritage and gift that to the kids.

I wished my home support staff 'Suprabhat' instead of Good Morning when she came in the morning today. She promptly responded back with her usual Good Morning along with a cheeky smile; used to my strange ways by now. I guess it will take a while for me to create a culture at home for her to not feel inferior because she doesn't know English. Up until now, I was thinking about how to get her to learn English because she is a keen learner and understands the value of English in India. I am grateful for the wisdom to understand that without the deep connection with our own roots, we cannot truly grow.

There are multiple benefits of being multilingual. Here are a few to inspire you:
1. According to research conducted by Julia Morales of Spain’s Granada University, children who learn a second language are able to recall memories better than monolinguals, or speakers of just one language.
2. Being multilingual leads to improved listening skills.
3. A study from 2010 shows that bilinguals have stronger control over their attention and are more capable of limiting distractions.
4. Recent research found that individuals who speak two or more languages, regardless of their education level, gender or occupation, experience the onset of Alzheimer’s, on average, 4 1/2 years later than monolingual subjects did.
5. Language learners also show greater cognitive flexibility (Hakuta 1986) and are better at figural creativity (Landry 1973).
6. Another research found that bilingual children are more creative in their problem solving than their monolingual peers.
7. Bilingual students consistently score higher on standardized tests in comparison with their monolingual peers, especially in the areas of math, reading and vocabulary.
8. Studies show that bilingual children show superior performance on non-linguistic tasks.
9. The results of the recent study showed that bilingualism is highly correlated with the breadth of vocabulary knowledge and reading skill. In other words, bilingual participants have a larger size of vocabulary knowledge and they enjoy better word reading skill.

We are in a unique place being born in India because most of us have atleast 3 languages that we can call our own - Hindi, our mother tongue or state language and of course, English if you went to school. And, if your spouse is from another state, you have 4 language to play with and learn, grow and evolve.

Lets not deny the huge advantage that this places us and our kids in. We are tremendously lucky and let us now claim that enormous good fortune as our own. 

I will keep you posted on our journey with Rabindranath Tagore, Satyajit Ray, Munshi Premchand, Harivansh Rai Bachchan, Amrita Pritam, Krishna Sobti and many more masters that we discover along the way. Would love to hear about your journey as you undertake to reconnect with your roots along with your family.

Wishing you and your family the joy of coming home to yourself.

Love, Jyoti.

​References:

Amazing Benefits of Language Learning


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