How to Raise Happy, Responsible Kids with their Genius Joyfully Expressed?

Being a parent is an opportunity to become a better version of ourselves as human beings. We are heroes in our child's world and that gives us the power to go on the Hero's Journey. Left to my own devices without my kids, I wouldn't be half the human being that I am today. I owe my evolution, growth & transformation; and performance, productivity & effectiveness to them. 

Each child is a Genius and if the Genius does not get expressed, we must hold ourselves as parents responsible for that because they feel, think, do and become in our space. Before moving forward, lets first define Genius so that we are on the same page. A human's Genius is the expression of their Highest Self; doing something that fills their heart with joy and passion, their mind with stillness, their spirit with freedom of fresh air, their body with aliveness, their eyes with stars; inspiring them to take that something to Mastery level and inside of that, making a huge difference to the world. Lets call that something their Craft, whatever it may be - Maths, Science, Dance, Music, Art, Drama, Robotics, Literature, Sports and so on.

To support our child's Genius to be joyfully expressed and have them show up in the world as happy & responsible, here's what we need to do, feel, think and be:

1. Play our own game of being the best in our field: We need to believe in our own Genius and play the game to express it joyfully. Children learn more from what their parents do than from what their parents tell them to do.

2. Nurture: Provide unconditional love and acceptance, however they are and however they are not. No pre-conditions or demands. They should never have to earn our love. It should be a given, whatever they may do. Discipline them for sure by taking away their privileges, not withdrawing your love. This means never vomiting your anger on them. Sure, get angry but process it on your own through journaling, meditation, walking, listening or dancing to your favourite music but never ever vomit it on them.

3. Lead: Be a Leader at home, not a Boss. Leaders do 10X of what they ask their people to do and that is it. You want your child to wake up at 6:00 am, you wake up at 4:00 am. You want your child to reduce their screen time, stop watching TV altogether. You want your child to reduce their intake of coke, you switch to drinking only water instead of tea / coffee / alcohol / soft-drinks. You want your child to excel in academics, stop playing the game of mediocrity yourself. No amount of your huffing and puffing will make a difference to them. What will make a difference to them is you playing a bigger game than you ask them to play. If you put on a facade by doing the right things only in their presence, you are raising humans who will lack integrity in their life and will never have a chance at happiness.
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4. Coach: Yes, you not only have to nurture and lead them; you are their coach too. A coach is someone who supports their coachees to realize their greatest dreams in deepest communion with their highest self, who believes in their coachee's Genius even if the coachee does not, who coaches their coachees to live in the expression of their Light. That is your job, you are your child's coach. Learn the technique of coaching - agility of mind (the ability to have 360 degree view of any situation), being of service (serving your child from a place of no expectation), communicating in the world of others (committed listening, leading with questions). Work with a coach to take your life to 10X and learn how to coach. 

5. House-hold chores: Kids need to do house-hold chores so that they learn to be responsible from the age they open their mouth to talk and stand on their feet to walk. Doing house-hold chores is as fundamental as eating food. Infact, there's a Harvard Grant study which establishes the importance of kids doing house-hold chores and puts it out as an indicator of child's success when he grows up. Are your kids making their beds, managing their laundry, laying the table, dusting their rooms? Are you doing that? Remember they will only do, only if you do that.

6. Habits: A human being is only a set of habits. Give your child a legacy of world-class habits by inculcating them in yourself first. Do you daily exercise, meditate, set your intentions a day ahead, review & reflect at the end of day, acknowledge yourself, consciously look out for positive aspects, deepen your experience of gratitude, read. These are few of the habits of the Great Masters. If you take them on, your children will adopt them as naturally as bathing in the morning. 

7. Purpose of Life: Do you have a purpose of life? If you don't have, your children will not have and grow up as directionless. Mastery is a function of practise. Put in 10,000 hours practising something and you have cut-over to the first level of mastery. 10,000 hours is 3 hours daily for 10 years. That is the time-frame for reaching your Genius. I meet a lot of school kids, not clear about what they want to do in life. I talk to their parents and I know why. Your child gives you signs of what they might be potentially passionate about right from a very young age. The problem is you don't believe in your own dreams and you scare them away from their dreams, out of fear of an unknown future. Unfortunately, communication is only 7% verbal; 93% is through your body language and tone of your voice, which is arising from your thoughts & feelings that you may not be even aware of. If you are a parent, you have no choice but to move from
1. unconsciousness
to
2. awakened consciousness
to
3. deep inner awareness
to
4. powerful creation of the new reality that you want
to
5. effortless transformation of your existence itself, transforming who you are as a human being.

That is when you are truly owning up to your responsibility as a parent. 

Yes, you were born to be on the Hero's Journey. Wishing you deeply fulfilling, joyous walk on that path; with you and your family experiencing each other's love, understanding, appreciation, respect and friendship. Then watch, how your productivity and effectiveness explodes. I am right here applauding you as you win the gold medal in the Olympics of your Life.

Love,
Jyoti.