Why are You Born in the Country You are Born in?

Why are you born in the country you are born in? Why are you born in the community you are born in? Why are you born to the religion that you are born to? Why are you born in the family you are born in? Why did you get married to the person you got married to? Why do you have the kids that you have? Why did you grow up in the specific schools and colleges that you went to? Why do you have the specific friends that you have? Why do you have the specific teachers, mentors, coaches that you have?

Did you choose them or did they choose you? How is any of this related to what is your life about? And, ultimately, what is your life about? What is the purpose, meaning of waking up, going about the day, sleeping; and day in, day out repeating that ad infinitum? Why?

Hmmm. I don't know about you; though here are my answers that make sense to me and gives me the energy to move from moment to moment with joy and gratitude. You can make them your answers if they connect with you.

We are born in our country because we are meant to carry forward our country's legacy to the world and serve our country to make an even bigger difference to humanity.

We are born in the community that we are born to because we are meant to heal the shared history so that the community connects even more deeply with its roots and with each other to make a much bigger contribution to the country it is a part of and the world as an outcome of that.

We are born to the religion we are born to because we are meant to go beyond our customs, rituals, traditions, mythology that separates us and connect to the real essence of our religion - spirituality - which connects all of humanity through the language of love. 

We are born in the family we are born in because we are meant to break the limiting patterns of loss and pain that are passed on from generation to generation; and connect to our authentic selves. In our connecting to our authentic selves, we will connect with vulnerability, deep love and unconditional acceptance with our spouse, kids, parents, siblings and all our family members to lead all of us to freedom, peace and fulfilment. Quoting from a book I read recently - "We are not separate because of the wars. Wars are because we are separate." This separateness, disconnection begins at home. 

We are married to the person we are married to because in the pain of that relationship lies our individual growth to our highest self; only if we don't numb or ignore that pain, only if we allow ourselves to feel the pain that there is. This most intimate of relationships is a beautiful lab in which we see in the other the mirror which reflects back to us what is missing in us. The error we make is by deluding ourselves that the missing is in the other, all the while all that the other does is to play the role of our mirror. The other cannot complete us. Two half circles cannot experience completion and connection. Only in each being complete and whole, will the relationship be complete and whole. That is why divorces don't make sense because we are not really running away from the other. We are really running away from our own selves. Unfortunately, there is no way to run except inside our own selves to dig out and own our own pain to be free.

We have the kids that we have to serve them by being on our journey to our highest self because that is their only access to being on their journey to their highest self.

We went to the specific schools and the colleges we went to because we are meant to give back to those institutions. My 72 years old father goes back to his village school once a year to offer scholarships to bright, deserving, poor students so that they don't have to earn money like him, while still at school.

We have the friends we have so that we become their accountability partners, holding them accountable to realise their greatest dreams and not let Life make them forget what makes their hearts sing and feet dance.

We have the specific teachers, mentors, coaches we have so that we can get connected to our purpose and remind them of theirs.

What are your answers? Actually, the power is not so much in finding the right answers but reaching the right questions. So, let me begin by asking, what are your questions?

Love, Jyoti.