Jyoti Gulati
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Why do we Struggle with being Consistent?

22/8/2017

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Consistent means unchanging in nature, standard, or effect over time, as per the Oxford Dictionary. Applied to our intentions, it means fulfilling on our intentions irrespective of the chaos inside or outside. If we commit to waking up at 5:00 am daily or exercise daily or move to healthier eating alternatives or reduced social media time, why is it such a struggle to do whatever is our commitment and to be consistent day in, day out?

The pattern shows up in number of ways:
1. We don't even start-off.
2. We start off, struggle to maintain the commitment, slide out of it and stay out of it.
3. We start off, struggle to maintain the commitment, keep sliding out and keep getting back.

First of all, know that you are not the only one who is plagued with inconsistency. It is our human design. That is why the world over, most people forget their New Year's Resolutions within a week of setting them up.

All we are is a collection of habits. Habits are automated hard-wired ways of thinking, feeling, speaking, doing, reacting based on past data; put into motion by triggers that have now become unconscious.

Not waking up at 5:00 am, not exercising daily, not eating healthy, excessive time on social media etc. are the current habits; which we are seeking to replace with a new set of habits. Imagine the complexity of fulfilling an intention of taking on a new habit of waking up at 5:00 am, where as now you wake up at 6:30 am:
1. Waking up at 6:30 am is currently hard-wired. That is the way all the four bodies of your Being (physical, emotional, mental / intellectual, spiritual bodies) know how to react to the trigger of 'waking-up in the morning'.
2. Waking up at 6:30 am is an automated way of being, the trigger for which is not even in your conscious awareness.
3. You want to let the current habit of waking up at 6:30 am go and take on a new habit of waking up at 5:00 am. So pretty much, you need to re-wire your inside at the level of all the four bodies of your Being.

If this is how complex it is, can we be a little compassionate with ourselves when we inevitably slide out? Taking on a new habit is literally like teaching a toddler how to walk. We don't get upset, resigned or cynical or question why she is like that or try to find out what's wrong with her; when a toddler falls down while trying to walk. Instead, we lovingly encourage her to keep trying; delighting in the numerous efforts she is making to walk on her own, without support. We need to be that kind of a nurturing parent to ourselves, if we want to make the new habits a way of our life traversing all the way from
1. Unconscious incompetence: At this stage of our evolution, we are not even aware how our current physical, emotional, mental / intellectual and spiritual habits are limiting us.
to
2. Conscious Incompetence: This is the Starter journey, when we begin to see ourselves authentically, when we begin to become authentic about our own inauthenticities. We begin to realize and value the importance of Growth Habits; and make a commitment to re-wire ourselves to drop the Limiting Habits and take on Growth Habits. During this journey, you will slide out of the new habit 90% of the time. The way to make progress is to keep coming back every time you slide out. 
to
3. Conscious Competence: This is the Champion journey, when we have strengthened our Agility of Mind to stay with the new Habit 90% of the time. It is much more difficult to get back when we slide out because the fall is deeper. The way to make progress is to keep coming back every time you slide out. 
to
4. Unconscious Competence: This is the journey to Mastery, which is when we can own up to the new habit as ours forever.

Here are the 5 steps for dropping a Limiting Habit and making the Growth Habit yours forever:

1. Commitment: Have an intention, not just a desire to embrace whichever Growth Habit you want to own. Remember, Intention = Desire + Commitment.

2. Choice: Make the Choice to believe at each of the three levels by identifying where it is missing by asking yourself the following questions:
a. Do I believe I have the Power to fulfil on my intention?
b. Do I believe people around me (at work and at home, friends and family) are supporting me to fulfil on my intention?
c. Do I believe the Universe is supporting me to fulfil on my intention?
If any one of the beliefs is missing, you will not be able to move forward to the Create phase. If belief is missing, all you need is to make a choice to believe. You will find it will take all your Agility of Mind to get past this stage, which is usually where people really get stuck. Without belief, no amount of huffing and puffing will get you anywhere.

3. Create: Create a powerful Structure of Success to have you be successful in your game of embracing a new growth habit. A structure of success has the following elements:
a. Actions, you need to take at each of the four bodies of your Being,
to fulfill on the intention .
b. An Accountability Partner who is not you, your spouse or your best friends. Ideally, it should be your Mastermind Group; a group of people committed to journey to their Highest Self just as you are.
c. A 21-day cycle to 100% do the habit daily, followed by another 21-day cycle, followed by another 21-day cycle till the new Habit is yours. 

4. Choice: Making the choice to take actions as per the above structure of success moment by moment, irrespective of the chaos inside or outside.

5. Commitment: Staying in the commitment to make the choice to be happy, fulfilled and grateful; irrespective of the outcome.

Go back to Step 1. Keep going round and round from Step 1 to 2 till Step 5, then back to 1, 2 till 5. You will find yourself experiencing being a Starter, Champion and finally Mastery; as you progress forward. That's it. Keep walking, keep creating, keep realizing your Greatest Dreams in deepest communion with your Highest Self and have it all - deeply fulfilling successful career, joyful relationships, happy responsible kids with their Genius joyfully expressed and lots of nourishing me-time; while making a huge difference to the world. What else is there to do?

Love,
​Jyoti.
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