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AuthorCEO Coach |
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April 2024
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Scratch the surface, you will find yourself peeping out from the other. Gurgaon to Los Angeles, from the housekeeping staff sweeping the floor to the chairperson sitting next to me on the flight, from the wailing child exhausted by a 15-hour flight to a hassled mom holding him, from a young one beaming in her beauty to an old one waiting for her wheelchair; so much of me around. I look in the mirror, I see so much of each of you in me. Its when we can feel the connection with each one, the smile spreads from our mouth to our eyes and our heart to everyone else around us. We are centred, we feel settled, a peaceful sense of joyous abundance spreads all around us and inside us, and suddenly we can do so much more than was possible before. Love, Jyoti.
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Ever wondered how many people in the world realize their greatest dreams? Unfortunately, very few live to their highest potential and that is at the source of the unhappy mess that we see in the world - both our inner world and the world outside. We are destined to realize our greatest dreams in deepest communion with our highest self and have it all - deeply fulfilling successful career, loving harmonious relationships, happy responsible kids with their genius joyfully expressed and lots of nourishing, nurturing me-time; while making a huge difference. But, WE come in our own way. Not because we want to but because we don't understand the art and science of realizing our dreams. My favourite question in a conversation is - What is your biggest dream? I get one of three responses: a. A confused look b. A cynical look c. Stars in the eyes It becomes an unforgettable conversation when I am able to get past the first two walls to connect at the third level because everyone has the capacity to be in the (c) state above if they let go of their fears to connect with their true authentic selves. It usually requires me to drop my walls to dance in conversation with another human being as they animatedly bare open their heart to share what they long to create in this lifetime. It is the most fulfilling experience. The first step in realizing our greatest dreams is to be aware of what our heart wants so that we can follow it - It could be leading your organization from good to great and make a huge impact in the world or becoming a published author or successful entrepreneur or wonderful parent or critically acclaimed artist or golfer with single digit handicap or top-ranked sportsperson or globally respected coach or skillful musician or get invited to teach at an ivy league college or having a deeply fulfilling joyous relationship with your spouse or anything that your heart desires. Realizing our dreams is like a 3-legged stool. Even if one leg is not there, the stool will fall down and our dreams will lie broken on the floor. The three legs are: 1. Craft Mastery 2. Business Excellence 3. Leadership Depth 1. Craft Mastery - Usually this leg, everyone figures and is the place everyone starts. Whatever your craft (business, technology, finance, banking, sports, writing, art, parenting, coaching, consulting, interiors, medicine etc.), if you are not playing to be the best in your craft and are not learning, growing & evolving on a daily basis; at some point, your dream will dissipate. 2. Business Excellence - I like to define business as an opportunity to be of service. If you pick up a loaf of bread from a nearby grocery store and pay 30 bucks; you have paid 30 bucks in exchange of the farmer, baker, packager, transporter and the grocer being of service to you. If the wagging of the dog's tail is wealth creation, profitability, money, love, appreciation; you can't beat the dog or work hard at moving its tail from right to left for it to wag its tail. If the mouth of the dog is being of service, you feed the dog and the tail will wag effortlessly. So it is with business, you make a huge difference to your customer community and be of service; the customer will chase you instead of you having to chase your customers. In our conversation of realizing our dreams, the customer is anyone from whom you will receive something in return for your being of service. The customer could be your employee, your external or internal customer, your publisher, your sponsor, your child, your client. What you receive in return could be money or the energy of respect, love, appreciation. Business Excellence means to be of enormous service to your customer community. Remember Newton's third law - Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Your being of service, making a difference is the action. What you receive in return is the reaction in the eco-system. You cannot control the reaction but you can impact it by increasing the velocity and force of the action. 3. Leadership Depth - Imagine 2 players on the tennis court in the finals of Wimbledon. One is cool, calm and composed; playing for the inner joy of the game. The other is shouting at himself and everyone around, every time he makes a mistake. Imagine 2 CEOs running their businesses from their corner office. One takes responsibility of the mistakes made by the organization and gives the credit away. The other blames his leadership team, the market or the customer for any mess-up. One in whose space you feel your highest potential and the other in whose space, you feel small and not good enough. Imagine two writers. One works when the mood calls her. The other works up her mood to write daily consistently. No marks for guessing who has leadership depth and who hasn't; and who in the long term will create deeply fulfilling success and realize their greatest dreams in deepest communion with their highest selves. May your stool keep standing and you realize your greatest dreams in deepest communion with your highest self to have it all. Then, you would be living your destiny. And, if each one of us realize our greatest dreams; there can only be love, gratitude and reverence in the world. If you want to create such a world, you owe it to the world to realize your dreams sitting on your stool as it stands in perfect balance. Love, Jyoti. My clients have created powerful outcomes using this process for fulfilling their intentions with velocity - from doubling their business growth, to transforming ineffective staff at work for enhanced organizational performance and profitability, to healing their troubled relationships at work and at home, to running in marathons, to writing their book and publishing it, to re-connecting with their children, to channeling their passion into successful businesses, to finding purpose and fulfilment through their work, to re-discovering the joy of being alive, to heal the dis-ease in their bodies to restore perfect health and well-being, to creating outcomes that seemed impossible before. The process of fulfilling your intentions with velocity is cyclical with 5 distinct steps: 1. Declaring Your Intention Declare your intention in a way that touches, moves and inspires you. Write it in the form of a gratitude; in the present tense using visual language so that you can viscerally experience the joy & gratitude, right now, for having accomplished it. Do a Daily Visualization Meditation for 5 minutes - visualizing and experiencing the joyous fulfilment of your intention. The science behind this is that at low energy states, our mind shuts down and has no access to creativity & innovation. As long as for the mind, I am here and my goal out there, my mind will experience lack at not having what I am seeking. This is the Energy of Striving which results in stress and fatigue. This meditation helps you to shift to the Energy of Arriving where goals and intentions are a place to come from; not a place to go to. If there is yearning in your heart for the desired outcome, know your Being is not in a powerful state to create the fulfilment of your intention. This is such a paradox. When you desperately want something, it is because you are linking the achievement of it to your identity. It becomes an Identity Goal and not fulfilling it only crushes your identity, which results in a loss of your personal power. The reason great success is denied to many of us is because we believe that failure is the opposite of success. The reality is that failures are milestones on the way to success. The only way learning truly happens is through failing. We iterate our way forward by learning through failures along the way. Deny yourself the opportunity to fail gloriously multiple times and you end up with mediocre success, not with success of the highest type. We lose so much energy in the world, when we believe that failure and success are opposites. Opposite of Success is not Failure but Emptiness. The way to reach success is to grow continuously by being in action to go beyond who we are as a human being, by doing whatever makes us uncomfortable, by having all the uncomfortable conversations, by making ourselves comfortable with failures. If a plant is not growing, it is dead. So, it is with human beings. If we are not growing, we are dead. We maybe breathing and eating; but we really are a zombie living in a daze, from moment to moment. If you want to grow; then the only path available is fail, fail,....., succeed, fail, fail,....., succeed, fail, fail,..... If this is the cycle of growth, then why live in the fear of failure, of hearing NOs from people. It is because we were taught to when we were little kids and that's what we are teaching our little kids. Did you ever give a chocolate to your kid for getting zero marks in Maths? And, when she came first in her class, you celebrated it. This behaviour just taught her that failure is a bad thing. Sara Blakely, USA's youngest self-made woman billionaire in the world said that what supported her the most in her journey to amazing success was her father's ritual of high-fiving her everytime she failed and not really make a big deal about the As she got. 2. Three Tests of Belief Become centred by closing your eyes and taking three deep breaths with mindful awareness. As you turn inwards, get present to a. whether you have the belief that you have the power to fulfil your intention, b. whether you have the belief that people in your life are supporting you to fulfil your intention, c. whether you have the belief that the Universe is supporting you to fulfil your intention. If any of the above 3 Beliefs is missing; you will find it difficult to take powerful, effective, consistent action to fulfil on your intention. If you find one or more of the above beliefs are missing, you can make a conscious CHOICE to BELIEVE. The reason the above beliefs are important is because a missing belief indicates a hidden fear. When you give yourself the permission to acknowledge and embrace your fear to make the choice to believe, your mind opens up to think of powerful and effective actions to fulfil your intention with velocity. 3. Create a Powerful Structure of Success Do some mindful exercises to feel centred and grounded. And, in that space, allow your creativity and innovation to lead you to write a powerful structure of success; which would include actions by specific dates (milestones) and daily / weekly process goals to ensure fulfilment of your intention, which is really your outcome goal. 4. Being in Action The next step is to take action as per our Structure of Success, irrespective of the chaos inside or outside because it is the word we have given to ourselves. The value of an intention or outcome goal is only in helping us decide the path (the structure of success) to fulfil it. Intention in the future but attention always in the present moment, being in action. 5. High Energy State Make the choice to be happy, fulfilled and grateful, irrespective of the outcome. Success is a definite outcome of being happy, fulfilled and grateful; moment by moment. Being happy, fulfilled and grateful is not necessarily the outcome of being successful. If my intention is getting fulfilled, it is great and if my intention is not getting fulfilled, it is even better because then the Universe's intention is getting fulfilled. Having this childlike trust and faith in the Universe suddenly releases you from all stress and pressure; which is your gateway to performance, productivity, creativity and innovation. Use this or any other process to shift the energy state to joy & gratitude because the mind shuts down in low energy state cutting us off from creativity & innovation. Continue the Cycle Go back to Step 1 to strengthen the Intention, Belief, review & update the Structure of Success based on your learnings along the way, be in action and consciously shift the energy to that of joy & gratitude. Fulfilling your intentions this way becomes a joyous, deeply fulfilling journey. Wishing you deep connection with your inner wisdom to give you the energy and strength to fulfil all your intentions and realize all your dreams with velocity. Love, Jyoti. Asifa is the effect. Effect of us (women) having to seek justice rather than have the power to create a just society, where people relate to each other with compassionate love and reverence. Effect of us choosing to play small by not investing in our Leadership Depth to have it all - deeply fulfilling successful careers living in the expression of our genius AND raising happy responsible kids joyously living out their genius. Effect of us not choosing to be powerful role models and influencers by being masters of our craft, thought leaders of our industry by believing the lie that we can either raise happy children or build great careers. Effect of us not having the Leadership Depth to become CEOs and Board Members of our organizations; and creating a new Leadership Model that allows us to also be fully available to our children to nurture them to be extraordinary leaders. Asifa lived and died to wake up our consciousness of how we, her sisterhood, have not created the world for her to experience the joy of learning, growing and evolving by going to a world class school and university in her village; and experiencing the courage, confidence and self-belief to raise a happy family along with building a business that leads the world forward. That is the future we have denied her and deny it to many others by not living in the expression our greatness and instead, choosing to live small lives. Transformation is never brought about by pointing fingers at the others but by looking in the mirror. We will cause the transformation we are seeking by stopping to look at what the other gender is doing, not doing, should do, should not do. Whether they evolve, not evolve, the speed at which they evolve is their business; not ours. Our business is to work on our own selves and become the Leaders to create the world that we want. Not in anger, upset, sadness because that shuts down the brain; shuts off our access to productivity, performance, creativity and innovation; but by transmuting those limiting emotions to love, gratitude, reverence, integrity and mastery; and creating a Brave New World. That's what our daughters and our sons are depending on us for because when Asifa happens, every being suffers. You want to avenge Asifa? Fall into forgiveness and connect to the Love that connects all beings and grow your Leadership Depth to have it all - a deeply fulfilling successful career, loving harmonious relationships, happy responsible kids and lots of nourishing nurturing me-time so that you have the influence and power to create a world where Asifa is in the history books as the source of revolution that swept the world to transform what it means to be a woman and what it means to be a human being; creating a world where each one realizes their greatest dreams in deepest communion with their highest self; experiencing love, abundance, prosperity, success, peace, fulfilment, freedom and joy. Love, Jyoti. There are two kinds of success - 1. Success 2. Deeply fulfilling, joyous success Both have very different paths and outcomes. In the first, you only play the Outer Game. In the second, you play both the Outer Game and the Inner Game, along with the Game That Connects the Two. The first is achieved with velocity, like the hare. The second requires patience, like the tortoise. The first is a sprint. The second is a marathon. I laughed my head off when I read a senior executive lament in a book yesterday - I hate personal growth. Such an echo of my experience of my own journey, and of the journeys of others I walk along with. The first is about being an ostrich and putting your head in the sand. The second is about being willing to go to places one is scared to go to, being willing to look in the mirror and see things one would rather not, being willing to hold oneself responsible for all the mess in the world, being willing to acknowledge and own one's own greatness, and live in the expression of one's inner Light. The Outer Game is that of Business Excellence through which you lead your organization from good to great, making a dent in the Universe, making that huge difference in the world through the work you do. The Inner Game is that of Leadership Depth through which you journey inside to become aware of your own fears and transform each one into love. The Game that Connects the Two is that of Craft Mastery through which become the master of your craft, the world's best in your industry, the thought leader in your domain. The three Games are really three journeys you undertake to connect to your genius, to leave footprints in the sand of time, to live the purpose of your life. The outcome of playing all the three games is having your Wheel of Life in perfect balance - deeply fulfilling successful career, loving harmonious relationships at home and at work, happy responsible kids with their genius joyfully expressed, nourishing nurturing me-time, making a difference. The interesting bit is that each of these 5 areas of your Wheel of Life are like a juggler's balls up in the air. Either all five will be up in the air or all will come crashing on the ground progressively, some point in time. If you are going through a midlife crisis, fall on your knees and thank the heavens for a loving reminder for you to play all the three games to be on the path for the second kind of success. Wishing you the courage to listen to the the silent voice in your head and find your way home. Love, Jyoti. I struggled with meditation. Tried different methodologies, nothing gave me the stillness that I thought I should get.
I now realize it wasn't because there was something missing in the different systems. The truth is that something was missing in me. Also, different approaches work for different people at different times as I realize in my own coach journey. Not every coach is for me and I am not everyone's coach. It is a process of discovery and feeling the connection. It's only when I found myself in a Vipassana Centre on a 10-day Silence Retreat that I found my connection. I discovered that meditation is simply a process of self-observation, of stepping away from the life outside to step inside, of gathering the scattered attention broken in 1000 pieces and holding it together within you. Thomas Edison was hugely ineffective at fishing. He never caught a fish though he would fish for an hour daily because he never used the bait. He said that way everyone left him alone - people and even the fish. This was his way of gathering his scattered self and journeying inwards. He credited this process for his prolific inventions. I find my biggest, most creative, innovative ideas simply float by when I am meditating. It's worth figuring out your way to come home to yourself. Love, Jyoti. I am writing on this topic because, at the heart of it, personal leadership needs to be strengthened to have the ability to lose weight, be fit and maintain it. Also, this is one of the by-products that my clients have experienced. So, I feel I am qualified to write on this subject :-) Let's first deconstruct. The Being of the Human Being has not one, but four bodies. None of your intentions will get fulfilled with power and velocity, if you do not recognize that. So, what are those 4 bodies - 1. Spiritual Body 2. Emotional Body 3. Mental Body 4. Physical Body If you are seeking mastery, professionally and personally, you need to strengthen each of your 4 bodies. If you research masters, people who have cut-over to the other side of greatness leaving the ashes of mediocrity behind, they have grown at all the 4 levels because that is part of the process, part of the inner strengthening for creating the outer success. Therefore, in order to lose weight, we need to do the work at all the four bodies: 1. Spiritual Body - This part of us is about our highest purpose; about our being connected to our purpose through the work we do and through the way we live; about living purposefully moment by moment; about experiencing deep connection with ourselves, with each one around us and with the Universe itself. You can assess the health of this body by giving yourself a rating out of 10 for the questions - Why am I doing all of this? What is my purpose? Linking it back to being overweight, be in the inquiry of the questions - Why am I allowing myself to be fat? What is my purpose in letting me be fat? The importance of an inquiry is not that you get clear answers but take responsibility and experience that viscerally, rather than hide behind numerous excuses. The reality is that you are fat / unfit and it is your choice to be like that. One of my clients wanted to quit smoking. In our coaching conversation, he had a powerful insight that he was using smoking to push emotions, that he didn't want to confront, under the carpet. It was his way of numbing his emotions. He learnt to feel gratitude for smoking instead of feeling guilty and powerless about it because he found the purpose behind his smoking habit. It was to teach him to love himself unconditionally and to get the strength to face his emotions to evolve to the next level. He learnt to use his cigarette as a partner in progress to point towards parts of him (his emotions) that he did not want to acknowledge, rather than as a crutch to escape parts of himself. Smoking quit him, instead of him struggling to quit smoking because it had fulfilled its role of supporting him on his human journey to learn, grow and evolve to his highest self. 2. Emotional Body - High Performers spend their entire lifetime turning their face away from their emotions, so much so that after a point they lose the ability to feel real emotions. Oh yes, we can pretend to be happy with all the success and wealth we have created. We are also so super smart that we end up fooling ourselves to believe that this happiness is the real thing and keep ourselves distracted with exciting hobbies we take on, going to exotic destinations for vacations and take up meditation. The experience of loneliness is acute and we hide that by working even harder, by becoming even more busy being busy. The first questions all my super successful clients ask me is - What is fulfilment? How do you define success? How do I feel intimacy with my loved ones - my spouse, kids and parents? I learnt the answers the hard way. The only access is to first acknowledge that you do have an Emotional Body, that emotions are like little children who will hide in different parts of your body (causing dis-ease including fat) if they experience you pushing them away. Fat, as per Louise Hay, often represents Fear and shows a need for protection. As per her, the Fear may be a cover for hidden anger and a resistance to forgive. Isn't it interesting? What's more interesting is that men usually have belly fat and women usually collect fat in their hips & thighs. Belly fat is anger at being denied emotional nourishment. Hips & thigh fat is packed childhood anger, often rage at the father. Work at the emotional level is needed to remain fit and allow fat to leave you. 3. Mental Body - I won't spend much time here because we spend our lives entirely in this body. At this body, what is needed is to recognize the limiting thought patterns that underlie the emotional state described above. It is not about forcibly stopping your thoughts, or trying to drop them. That doesn't work. It is about allowing the limiting thoughts to let go of you. This is a 4-stage process from being unconscious of your limiting thought patterns, to being conscious, to being aware and finally transformation takes place when you find yourself free from the grip of your limiting thought patterns. Byron Katie in her powerful book 'Loving What Is' shares a step-by-step process for this. Meditation is a powerful process for stilling the mind. Don't use this to escape your emotions, use the process for self-observation. I find Vipassana very powerful and personally use it. There are numerous other approaches. You need to find one that you connect with. 4. Physical Body - Here you need to work at three levels: a. What you are eating, how you are eating and when you are eating? I find Ayurveda, the ancient healing system of India, very comprehensive and scientific. Infact, most spiritual organizations run their own version of Healthy Eating Programs. b. Which physical exercise regimen you are following? How consistent are you? In my experience, Yoga (the ancient physical disciplining system of India) is the most structured exercising approach to health and wellbeing. c. How are you breathing? Pranayam, part of the Yoga Practise, teaches highly effective breathing exercises. You may choose to love being fat or choose to use it to find your way to greater freedom, greater performance & productivity and greater outer success by starting your inner journey of personal transformation. Whatever you may choose, know that you are whole, complete and perfect the way you are. Without experiencing that, you will not make progress. Love, Jyoti. Limiting Habits Impact our Productivity & Performance, Creativity & Innovation. What to Do about It?29/11/2017 A human being is only a sum total of her habits - emotional, physical, mental and spiritual. If you want to 10X your life, 10X the velocity with which to transform your Limiting Habits to Growth Habits. Here are a few habits to consider - a. Physical - Coffee vs water, alcohol vs fresh juice, sleeping extra vs early morning yoga, sleeping extra on weekends vs playing sports. b. Emotional - Social media vs face-to-face catching-up with people and deeply connecting, emotionally blocked vs journaling to authentically and with vulnerability experiencing your emotions, arguing with your spouse at home vs deciding the winner in a sport playing outside. c. Mental - Watching TV vs reading a book, only working vs working and also investing in learning a new non-work related skill year on year. d. Spiritual - Busy being busy vs self-observation through meditation. The loss of energy as we age, disease (dis-ease: body not at ease), stress, pain & aches are all a function of limiting habits; which unfortunately have a negative impact on our productivity & performance, creativity & innovation. If you are clear you want to create deeply fulfilling, super success this lifetime; not working on your habits is like having a pebble in your shoe as you race to win in the Olympics of Life. There are 4 stages in transforming a limiting habit into a growth habit: 1. Unconscious Incompetence: You have a habit that is dragging you down but you are not even conscious of it. Working with a coach works well to support you to become conscious of your limiting habits. Your spouse can also rattle the entire list, probably pretty accurately, but spouses are not trained in the art and science of coaching. So, better to have an objective, neutral, trained party to work with. Any good coach will support you to transcend your limiting habits and graduate into growth habits because without this foundational work, no other coaching objective can authentically be fulfilled. 2. Conscious Incompetence: This is the most uncomforatble stage to be in; but the fact is without coming here, you can't progress further. In this stage, you are painfully and consciously aware of your limiting habits. You can see yourself drinking coffee, not waking up to do yoga and all the other limiting habits but you are able to do nothing about it. Most people, at this stage, begin to beat themselves up which further reduces their power to transcend limiting habits. What you need to do here is to acknowledge your inability to make a different choice and celebrate because you moved from Stage 1 to Stage 2; which is a progress. The second thing to do at this stage is to track every time you made the default automatic choice. What you track, you can transform. You are a Starter at this stage and will give in atleast 90% of the time to the default limiting habit. 3. Conscious Competence: At this stage, you are making an effort to consciously choose the Growth Habit over the Limiting Habit. You lose most times in the beginning, you win some times. Keep tracking during the day, and reviewing & reflecting on your progress at the end of the day. Here's what all you should be tracking to identify the trigger of the limiting habit - Date, Time, Emotional State, Physical State, Mental State, Location, People Around, Loss / Won. Track before you give in. At the end of this phase, you become a Champion and will give in at maximum 10% of the time to the default limiting habit. 4. Unconscious Competence: At this stage, the limiting habit no longer has a hold on you. You have 100% hit rate, no longer need to track and the growth habit is yours to keep. You no longer need to make a conscious decision to choose between limiting and growth habit. The choice of the growth habit has become an automatic default response mode and the processing has shifted from your Conscious Mind into your Subconscious Mind. You are a Master now of this one habit that you started your journey with. Yes, it is a slow journey. There is no quick fix for this. Follow this path to Personal Mastery and you will find productivity & performance, innovation & creativity in every area of your wheel of life. Wishing you deeply fulfilling, super success. Love, Jyoti. What Do We Need to Realize Our Greatest Dreams in Deepest Communion with Our Highest Self?31/8/2017 Here’s what we need. Of course, as I always say, mine is a view from a point. Walk to this point and choose to stay there, only if it serves you to take powerful, effective actions to create unimaginable, impossible, magical outcomes that are authentically yours. A. You need someone
Assess every guru, coach, mentor or a teacher on the above parameters; before giving them the right to be your guru, coach, mentor or a teacher. A good question here would be – Why does one need someone outside of our self? Why does one need a guru, coach, mentor or a teacher? There are many reasons but the most important is that we cannot see our own blind spots. Growth is available to us only in continuous uncovering of our blind spots as only that allows us to take powerful effective action effortlessly, which is not available to us before the uncovering. B. You need to be – You need to be committed to realize your greatest dreams in deepest communion with your highest self. C. You need to do – You need to take action every single day, action that accelerates you on the path of fulfilling your intentions and realizing your dreams. D. You need to have – an intense burning desire to live your Greatest Life. E. You need to surround yourself with people who are on the path to their Highest Self because you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. When you can cause all the above five to come together, you will find yourself living in the expression of your Light, your Genius. Wishing you aliveness, deep fulfillment and joyous freedom of experiencing and living in the expression of your Greatness this lifetime. Love, Jyoti. Consistent means unchanging in nature, standard, or effect over time, as per the Oxford Dictionary. Applied to our intentions, it means fulfilling on our intentions irrespective of the chaos inside or outside. If we commit to waking up at 5:00 am daily or exercise daily or move to healthier eating alternatives or reduced social media time, why is it such a struggle to do whatever is our commitment and to be consistent day in, day out? The pattern shows up in number of ways: 1. We don't even start-off. 2. We start off, struggle to maintain the commitment, slide out of it and stay out of it. 3. We start off, struggle to maintain the commitment, keep sliding out and keep getting back. First of all, know that you are not the only one who is plagued with inconsistency. It is our human design. That is why the world over, most people forget their New Year's Resolutions within a week of setting them up. All we are is a collection of habits. Habits are automated hard-wired ways of thinking, feeling, speaking, doing, reacting based on past data; put into motion by triggers that have now become unconscious. Not waking up at 5:00 am, not exercising daily, not eating healthy, excessive time on social media etc. are the current habits; which we are seeking to replace with a new set of habits. Imagine the complexity of fulfilling an intention of taking on a new habit of waking up at 5:00 am, where as now you wake up at 6:30 am: 1. Waking up at 6:30 am is currently hard-wired. That is the way all the four bodies of your Being (physical, emotional, mental / intellectual, spiritual bodies) know how to react to the trigger of 'waking-up in the morning'. 2. Waking up at 6:30 am is an automated way of being, the trigger for which is not even in your conscious awareness. 3. You want to let the current habit of waking up at 6:30 am go and take on a new habit of waking up at 5:00 am. So pretty much, you need to re-wire your inside at the level of all the four bodies of your Being. If this is how complex it is, can we be a little compassionate with ourselves when we inevitably slide out? Taking on a new habit is literally like teaching a toddler how to walk. We don't get upset, resigned or cynical or question why she is like that or try to find out what's wrong with her; when a toddler falls down while trying to walk. Instead, we lovingly encourage her to keep trying; delighting in the numerous efforts she is making to walk on her own, without support. We need to be that kind of a nurturing parent to ourselves, if we want to make the new habits a way of our life traversing all the way from 1. Unconscious incompetence: At this stage of our evolution, we are not even aware how our current physical, emotional, mental / intellectual and spiritual habits are limiting us. to 2. Conscious Incompetence: This is the Starter journey, when we begin to see ourselves authentically, when we begin to become authentic about our own inauthenticities. We begin to realize and value the importance of Growth Habits; and make a commitment to re-wire ourselves to drop the Limiting Habits and take on Growth Habits. During this journey, you will slide out of the new habit 90% of the time. The way to make progress is to keep coming back every time you slide out. to 3. Conscious Competence: This is the Champion journey, when we have strengthened our Agility of Mind to stay with the new Habit 90% of the time. It is much more difficult to get back when we slide out because the fall is deeper. The way to make progress is to keep coming back every time you slide out. to 4. Unconscious Competence: This is the journey to Mastery, which is when we can own up to the new habit as ours forever. Here are the 5 steps for dropping a Limiting Habit and making the Growth Habit yours forever: 1. Commitment: Have an intention, not just a desire to embrace whichever Growth Habit you want to own. Remember, Intention = Desire + Commitment. 2. Choice: Make the Choice to believe at each of the three levels by identifying where it is missing by asking yourself the following questions: a. Do I believe I have the Power to fulfil on my intention? b. Do I believe people around me (at work and at home, friends and family) are supporting me to fulfil on my intention? c. Do I believe the Universe is supporting me to fulfil on my intention? If any one of the beliefs is missing, you will not be able to move forward to the Create phase. If belief is missing, all you need is to make a choice to believe. You will find it will take all your Agility of Mind to get past this stage, which is usually where people really get stuck. Without belief, no amount of huffing and puffing will get you anywhere. 3. Create: Create a powerful Structure of Success to have you be successful in your game of embracing a new growth habit. A structure of success has the following elements: a. Actions, you need to take at each of the four bodies of your Being, to fulfill on the intention . b. An Accountability Partner who is not you, your spouse or your best friends. Ideally, it should be your Mastermind Group; a group of people committed to journey to their Highest Self just as you are. c. A 21-day cycle to 100% do the habit daily, followed by another 21-day cycle, followed by another 21-day cycle till the new Habit is yours. 4. Choice: Making the choice to take actions as per the above structure of success moment by moment, irrespective of the chaos inside or outside. 5. Commitment: Staying in the commitment to make the choice to be happy, fulfilled and grateful; irrespective of the outcome. Go back to Step 1. Keep going round and round from Step 1 to 2 till Step 5, then back to 1, 2 till 5. You will find yourself experiencing being a Starter, Champion and finally Mastery; as you progress forward. That's it. Keep walking, keep creating, keep realizing your Greatest Dreams in deepest communion with your Highest Self and have it all - deeply fulfilling successful career, joyful relationships, happy responsible kids with their Genius joyfully expressed and lots of nourishing me-time; while making a huge difference to the world. What else is there to do? Love, Jyoti. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. Archives
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